Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play:

The acronym WOHM is silly and unnecessary. No one uses this term when speaking ("Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm a work outside of the home mom!"). It's an acronym used exclusively in DCUMLandia and similar internet based places as a PC mechanism for not offending SAHMs who feel that the term working mom (for those with paying jobs) is hurtful since it somehow makes them (SAHMs) feel under valued. I don't understand why this term was developed or why anyone feels it is necessary. If you have job, then you work (working mom, working person, working teenager). If you don't have a job, then you don't work. BUT, that doesn't mean that society thinks SAHMs are home eating bonbons. We get it. You are caring for kids and the home. And as far as we can tell, you don't mind the SAHM moniker, right? Because, you are at home. But why must we have the WOHM term? What the hell does my job have to do with not being at home?? Should I start telling people I'm a lawyer/doctor/ unicorn who works at an office instead of my kitchen table? Seems odd. I can't imagine a working mom coined that damn WOHM term.

So let's get back to the basics. SAHM and WM. We all know what these terms mean. They work just fine.

If you don't have a job, then you don't GET PAID FOR work.

Because the fact is that there is plenty of work that people do and don't get paid for. Much of this work is traditionally done by women.

You're so defensive. It's really absurd. See the post above yours.

What am I defensive about? I do work that I get paid for. I also do work that I don't get paid for.

It's ridiculous for SAHMs (whether you personally are one or not) to take offense to mothers who work a paying job (in or out of the home) being referred to as working moms. It is just semantics and comes off as very defensive. How can you not see that? Just silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play:

The acronym WOHM is silly and unnecessary. No one uses this term when speaking ("Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm a work outside of the home mom!"). It's an acronym used exclusively in DCUMLandia and similar internet based places as a PC mechanism for not offending SAHMs who feel that the term working mom (for those with paying jobs) is hurtful since it somehow makes them (SAHMs) feel under valued. I don't understand why this term was developed or why anyone feels it is necessary. If you have job, then you work (working mom, working person, working teenager). If you don't have a job, then you don't work. BUT, that doesn't mean that society thinks SAHMs are home eating bonbons. We get it. You are caring for kids and the home. And as far as we can tell, you don't mind the SAHM moniker, right? Because, you are at home. But why must we have the WOHM term? What the hell does my job have to do with not being at home?? Should I start telling people I'm a lawyer/doctor/ unicorn who works at an office instead of my kitchen table? Seems odd. I can't imagine a working mom coined that damn WOHM term.

So let's get back to the basics. SAHM and WM. We all know what these terms mean. They work just fine.

If you don't have a job, then you don't GET PAID FOR work.

Because the fact is that there is plenty of work that people do and don't get paid for. Much of this work is traditionally done by women.

You're so defensive. It's really absurd. See the post above yours.

What am I defensive about? I do work that I get paid for. I also do work that I don't get paid for.

It's ridiculous for SAHMs (whether you personally are one or not) to take offense to mothers who work a paying job (in or out of the home) being referred to as working moms. It is just semantics and comes off as very defensive. How can you not see that? Just silly.

Then it's a good thing that that's not the issue in this particular discussion.

What is the issue? The idea that if you don't have a job (that you get paid for), you don't work.

Yes, generally, when people ask a woman, "Do you work?", what they mean is, "Do you get paid to work?" But this erases a lot of work that is done, mostly, by women, and I'm not going to think that's a coincidence. Economists traditionally count time not spent at paid employment as leisure time. Now that's silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?

Uh, yeah. So? Working mom chooses to work, SAHM chooses to stay home. Why are you being so condescending about it?

I stay at home. I make it work. I used to WOHM, at which time I also made it work. Life gets done. Get over your insecurities and do what you want.

She is condescending b/c the working mom doesn't choose to work; she has to work to afford food and housing and such. Her bad choice was not marrying for money.

If she has to work to afford food and housing and such, then she needs to buck up and get over her pity party. I had to work for a long time to afford food and housing and such, and I'm sure I'll do it again in the future. But I would never be condescending to anybody about it because I wasn't ever bitter or insecure, like PP.

[Anonymous]

Wanda doesn't want a pity party. She merely wants SAHMs to stop forcing working moms to use terms like WOHM. It's silly and unnecessary. And she's not being condescending. Rather, she's trying to make clear for folks how working moms have two jobs...whereas SAHMs have one job. See how I just said that SAHMs have a job? I did. I get it. Working moms get it. Society gets that SAHMs have the job of caring for kids and their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wanda doesn't want a pity party. She merely wants SAHMs to stop forcing working moms to use terms like WOHM. It's silly and unnecessary. And she's not being condescending. Rather, she's trying to make clear for folks how working moms have two jobs...whereas SAHMs have one job. See how I just said that SAHMs have a job? I did. I get it. Working moms get it. Society gets that SAHMs have the job of caring for kids and their home.

Seriously, you do sound quite bitter. Nobody's forcing you to use any term. This is a parenting board. Some issues are particular to moms who work outside the home, aka WOHM. As in a WOHM asking, "how do you find time to make dinner from scratch in the evenings?" The asker of that question probably won't benefit from the answer "I start cooking at 4pm" from a SAHM or a WAHM. That's why we distinguish via acronyms. If using "WOHM" does not benefit you in any way, then don't use it. If I want to know how to get my kid to eat broccoli, I don't say "I'm a SAHM and would like to know..." because it doesn't make a difference.

[Anonymous]

To 19:11 - You are totally missing the point. The point is that we should simply use the term working mom/WM in the scenario you listed...there's no need to say WOHM. That term was clearly designed to meet some PC standard that really doesn't seem warranted. I'm not defensive. Rather, I'm stumped as to why so many folks seem to be missing the point.

[Anonymous]

It would be SO much simpler if the phrase "working mom" weren't seen as so.... offensive. Not too long ago it was a perfectly acceptable term to describe a mom who also held a job outside or inside the home, that earned an income.

- a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Precisely, pp! So why is it so offensive? It isn't offensive to working moms. Or to men. Or to children or teens. Or to childless women. Or even to some SAHMs. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

If we are giving out work credit for being a parent, I want to be a CAUWOHAUACWIHM -- compensated and uncompensated work outside the home and uncompensated and compensated work inside the home mom. Sometimes i grocery shop outside my home for free, and that's work, right! And sometimes I do my paid job work at home at night after the kids go to bed and dammit, I don't want people to think I just sit around and eat bon bons after 9pm every night. I need validation and I will be very offended if you refer to me any other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To 19:11 - You are totally missing the point. The point is that we should simply use the term working mom/WM in the scenario you listed...there's no need to say WOHM. That term was clearly designed to meet some PC standard that really doesn't seem warranted. I'm not defensive. Rather, I'm stumped as to why so many folks seem to be missing the point.

Agree completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wanda doesn't want a pity party. She merely wants SAHMs to stop forcing working moms to use terms like WOHM. It's silly and unnecessary. And she's not being condescending. Rather, she's trying to make clear for folks how working moms have two jobs...whereas SAHMs have one job. See how I just said that SAHMs have a job? I did. I get it. Working moms get it. Society gets that SAHMs have the job of caring for kids and their home.

The thing is that SAHMs also do two jobs - they are full time daycare workers / homeschool teachers / nannies - basically they spend the time while you are at work on raising their child(ren). Then in the evenings and weekends - they do the same job as working moms - taking care of kids and home. SAHMs just mix it up a bit more - they do some housework during the day while the kids nap etc..

[Anonymous]

Yawn. Keep telling yourself that. We aren't buying it, PP. You see, working moms were home on maternity and are home on sick days and when kids have days off from school, and we know the deal. You can get stuff done around the house when kids are home (or napping or in preschool or elementary school). If you are at home, then you can easily do laundry. You can go grocery shopping with your kids. Etc, etc. You don't have two jobs.

[Anonymous]

I have kids and fill out a W-2 every year. If it makes some SAHM feel better to label me a part time mom, I'm cool with that because my kids are awesome. If you need to chop me down to make yourself feel taller, that's on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanda doesn't want a pity party. She merely wants SAHMs to stop forcing working moms to use terms like WOHM. It's silly and unnecessary. And she's not being condescending. Rather, she's trying to make clear for folks how working moms have two jobs...whereas SAHMs have one job. See how I just said that SAHMs have a job? I did. I get it. Working moms get it. Society gets that SAHMs have the job of caring for kids and their home.

The thing is that SAHMs also do two jobs - they are full time daycare workers / homeschool teachers / nannies - basically they spend the time while you are at work on raising their child(ren). Then in the evenings and weekends - they do the same job as working moms - taking care of kids and home. SAHMs just mix it up a bit more - they do some housework during the day while the kids nap etc..

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

We do you job and then some. And set a great example for our kids about equality in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Who gives a shit? Yo Mama does.