Do working moms actually like the "WOHM" acronym??

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think most of the WOHMs are being deliberately obtuse. My nanny takes care of my children for 40 plus hours a week, I think we can all agree that is a fulltime job (as is working in a daycare, if that is how you get your childcare while you work) . However, when a SAHM does that, it's completely overlooked and everyone wants to argue that they do the same exact thing but also work. It's so plainly false it is ridiculous.

You don't see the distinction between getting paid money to leave your house and go watch other people's children and staying at home to care for your own child? One is a job, one is a choice. They are different. That's why we have the distinctions. Some parents stay at home, some go to work, some can work from home. Every single one of those brings its own pros and cons, but they are all different from one another. Choosing to stay at home to care for your children is a choice and involves things that have to be done during the day but it isn't a job. Going to work involves involves things that may look similar to caring for your own child, but at the end of the day, it's a job.

What exactly is your point? Mine was that taking care of kids all day is hard work--whether or not you are paid for it. Are you arguing otherwise?

My point is that one is a job and one is a choice. Why are you acting like because they each take effort, they are the same. No, they're not. Do you think your nanny is going to show up out of the goodness of her heart to take care of your kids is you don't pay her? Hell no. She does it because you're paying her to do it. That's the difference. If I'm a carpenter by trade, and choose to build something in my back yard for the benefit of my family, I'm not "at work." I'm choosing to spend to my time doing that, but I'm not being paid. But I might be saving our family money by not paying someone else to do it. Why is this any different? Being a SAHP is not a job, regardless of how much effort is expende
\ at doing what's necessary during the day. I'm not digging at SAHPs. I respect what they do. It's just not a job. People do a disservice to SAHPs by trying to bring some kind of credibility to their day by referring to it as a job. It's credible in its own right, you don't need to act like it's equivalent to a job. Apples and oranges.

This is a weird tangent, no one said it was a job, only that it was hard work taking caring of young children. My nanny does pretty much what I did when I was at home (but not all the work I did around the house) and I acknowledge her hard work by paying her a lot of money. It was also hard work when I was doing it.

Are you new here?? People say that constantly. It's insane. "It's hard work taking care of children all day" is NOT the same as having outside employment, just as having outside employment is NOT the same as staying at home taking care of children all day. That's why the whole SAHM, WOHM, WAHM designations started in the first place. Because they each bring their own set of benefits and challenges. But SAHMs seem to feel the needs to "justify" themselves by equating what they do with having a job simply because it takes effort. It's stupid. Which is what this whole thread is about. And there are no judgments about any of it - I've been all of those designations, so I see the benefits and challenges of each. But I sure as hell never said what I did as a SAHM was a job.

I never said ir was a job either. But if you read the whole thread there was several WOHMs who said Sahm did half the work they did because they did everything and Sahm did and more. But that overlooks, all the daytime child care that sahms are responsible for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of the WOHMs are being deliberately obtuse. My nanny takes care of my children for 40 plus hours a week, I think we can all agree that is a fulltime job (as is working in a daycare, if that is how you get your childcare while you work) . However, when a SAHM does that, it's completely overlooked and everyone wants to argue that they do the same exact thing but also work. It's so plainly false it is ridiculous.

Well-put. Thanks! ~WOHM here

Do you really think there is no difference between taking care of kids NOT in your own house and taking care of your kids in your own house? Or being paid to do nothing but take care of kids, versus being allowed to take care of kids but do whatever else you need to do (as long as kids aren't neglected)?

What's the longest amount of time you've been home as the primary caregiver of your kids (i.e. no daycare or nanny) and how many do you have?

Questions like that give SAHMs a black eye.

I asked the question and I'm a WOHM. Just shocking to me that anyone has spent time taking care of their own kids thinks SAHM are just bringing their kids around with them in a whirlwind of shopping, spa and gym. Sounds like something a childless person would. I've had quite a few draining weekends with the kids where I look forward to the relative calm of the workplace.

BS on you being a WOHM. (Or if you are, then you are being obtuse.) You think someone who works outside the 40 hours a week cannot be someone "who has spent time taking care of their own kids"? Let's start with weekends and go on from there....

Not what I said at all. Read it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work outside of my house. I spend three hours a day commuting. I have a kid with some sort of delay we haven't figured out yet.

I couldn't care less.

You aren't hoping for the Mother of the Year award, are you. I hope child has someone who gives a damn about his problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work outside of my house. I spend three hours a day commuting. I have a kid with some sort of delay we haven't figured out yet.

I couldn't care less.

You aren't hoping for the Mother of the Year award, are you. I hope child has someone who gives a damn about his problem.

How dumb ARE you? Reading comprehension 101.

[Anonymous]

Agree completely. This is my primary pet peeve with certain SAHMs. I had to listen to one SAHM neighbor expound upon how difficult it is to be the only person responsible for scheduling the plumber, researching camps, buying kid clothes, making doctors appointments, etc., and that she was REALLY kept busy doing these things, so she hasn't gone back to work. (Her kids are both school age.) All I could think was that she is either a complete moron or just the world's most inefficient person. I do all those things too. Myself. Yet I am not so overwhelmed with camps and plumbers that I can't hold down a full time job. Just WOW on the lack of awareness for that woman. Who does she think handles those tasks at my house? The Scheduling Fairy? A Shopping Elf? Nope - I do.


Well, she does take care of her kids all day and you do not. No value judgment there, I have a nanny myself and work outside the home, but you seem to be overlooking the obvious in your desire to feel superior.

Um, did you miss the part about her kids being school age? 1st and 4th grade, actually. They go to the same school as my kids. These kids live just a bit further from school than we do. I know my kids are out the door by 7:20 and back home about 3:10. If by "taking care of the kids all day" you mean taking care of them from 3:10 pm until her spouse returns home, yeah, that's a crushing workload. I have NO idea how she finds time to call the plumber.

Maybe she spends her time volunteering at the school or elsewhere.

She's not volunteering for 35 hrs/week. Unless she's engaged in some super secret volunteer position at the school, she doesn't volunteer there much at all. My kids and her kids had the same teachers. She was most certainly not devoting her hours to supporting the teachers by volunteering in the classroom. And seeing as how I was on all the same mailing lists sent by all the same volunteers, I can tell you that she wasn't the one organizing big events, either. But she does do a lot of yoga, which I assume is necessary stress relief given how HARD she works during her empty days to do all of the things I manage to do without the seven bonus hours of free time.

I do not begrudge non-working parents their free time. I'm just annoyed as hell by the tone deaf, oh-woe-is-me "I am SO BUSY running the household!!!" drama of some SAHMs, especially (!!!) moms of school aged children. That's 7+ hours of time that is yours to use as you please. I am quite certain you can successfully manage the household with a whole lot less time than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any WOHMs willing to guess how much time they spend at work dealing with home issues? (Like scheduling contractors, ordering whatever from Amazon, managing finances, searching online for clothes for the whole family for an upcoming out of town wedding, looking at real estate, beach house booking, flights for Christmas break, etc etc).

Virtually none. I'm a WAHM, so feel extra pressure not to ever take advantage of my situation. I work through my "lunch", take a 15 minute off-the-clock break to schedule appointments or talk to the window replacement guy or switch out the loads of laundry, etc. I do not count any non-work activities as work time. What I do have is the flexibility to do those things pretty much any time... but I do not do them on the clock, and when I need to do them I start work earlier or work later or work at night after my kid goes to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, nice try PP.

Let me dumb this down for you:

SAHM Sally has two precious snowflakes in elementary school. They get on the bus at 8:30, and they get home at 3:30...except on the days they have after school activities.

WOHM Wanda also has two kids in elementary school. Same bus schedule. Wanda gets home from her FT lawyer gig in DC by 5pm (she heads in super early while DH gets the kids on the bus in the morning, so she avoids rush hour and can get home at a reasonable time).

Wanda spends 40 hours a week kicking ass at her day job.

Sally spends her day at the gym, running errands and cleaning (actually, scratch that...Sally has a cleaning service).

If you fail to recognize that one lady is working two jobs while the other lady has a cakewalk, then we are done here...obviously you are delusional.

I love you!

Signed,

Lawyer Mommy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, nice try PP.

Let me dumb this down for you:

SAHM Sally has two precious snowflakes in elementary school. They get on the bus at 8:30, and they get home at 3:30...except on the days they have after school activities.

WOHM Wanda also has two kids in elementary school. Same bus schedule. Wanda gets home from her FT lawyer gig in DC by 5pm (she heads in super early while DH gets the kids on the bus in the morning, so she avoids rush hour and can get home at a reasonable time).

Wanda spends 40 hours a week kicking ass at her day job.

Sally spends her day at the gym, running errands and cleaning (actually, scratch that...Sally has a cleaning service).

If you fail to recognize that one lady is working two jobs while the other lady has a cakewalk, then we are done here...obviously you are delusional.

I love you!

Signed,

Lawyer Mommy

I think you are both dumb!

Signed,

Another Lawyer Mommy