Am I being unreasonable? Neighbor complaints about noise - sorry long

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why someone who needs to work at home would live in a townhome. You should either live in an old purpose-built apartment (they usually are solidly built and have good soundproofing as a result) or a SFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you are trying to cause trouble, not prevent it. I was on your side at the beginning, but now I'm on the neighbor lawyer's side.

You seem smug and insufferable.

If you go looking for trouble, you will find it. Especially if someone is/has a lawyer.

You seem antagonistic, and more concerned with having the last word, than with actually doing the right thing. I trust this is not the first time.

BTW, there are more sophisticated video resources out there than you know. Know when to say when, and try to be a decent human being instead of having the last word.

If you feel wronged by the world, this neighbor is not going to make a difference, one way or the other. You need to allow for proper perspective here.

Troll. Shoo.

Ignore this ass OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are 2 and 5, they're not allowed to play ball in the house but they run and yell. We sing and dance together and they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes.
Anyway, today we were having a play date and the other child is a screamer. Mom is working hard on teaching him inside voice but the guy likes to yell from the top of his lungs.

The kids run and yell, you all sing and dance, they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes, you have a child over who likes to yell at the top of his lungs -- and it's unreasonable of the neighbor to complain about the noise?

Right? Crazy!

I think OP was being reasonable and neighborly when she asked if the lawyer slept during the day, so she knew when to keep it down. Her neighbor WORKS during the day. If she needs quiet, she should rent an office. There are plenty of spaces available.

I'm going to take a guess here, and say you don't work at any sort of job that requires concentration or higher brain function. Even though you'll undoubtedly come back and say that you're working in theoretical astrophysics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you are trying to cause trouble, not prevent it. I was on your side at the beginning, but now I'm on the neighbor lawyer's side.

You seem smug and insufferable.

If you go looking for trouble, you will find it. Especially if someone is/has a lawyer.

You seem antagonistic, and more concerned with having the last word, than with actually doing the right thing. I trust this is not the first time.

BTW, there are more sophisticated video resources out there than you know. Know when to say when, and try to be a decent human being instead of having the last word.

If you feel wronged by the world, this neighbor is not going to make a difference, one way or the other. You need to allow for proper perspective here.

Troll. Shoo.

Ignore this ass OP

People need stop crying Troll all the time. It just shows you have no idea what that means. It doesn't mean that when you disagree with someone, they're a troll.

OP does seem antagonistic. As does PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why someone who needs to work at home would live in a townhome. You should either live in an old purpose-built apartment (they usually are solidly built and have good soundproofing as a result) or a SFH.

I don't understand why not everyone drives a Mercedes or an Audi. Why do some people live in such small dingy houses? If I can afford to live in a $2.5m dollar home in NWDC, why can't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just extended our lease so we will be here for at least one more year. We live in a 3 level townhome that shares one full wall with the neighbor. According to the landlord our homes are mirrored so we share a garage wall opposed to the garage door, the kids's bedroom wall (a mirror and an expedit 5x1 are against this wall) and our living room wall where a huge bookshelf (expedit 5x5).

The neighbor banged on the wall 3 or 4 times early on when we moved. It was during day time between 11am and 4pm. I baked cookies and went there to apologize and try to figure out if they slept during the day so I could put an extra effort on keeping the kids silent so they could sleep. The neighbor once locked the door when I knocked and the second time turned the porch light off when I rang the bell. I took it as a sign of them not wanting to talk so I left at it.

My kids are 2 and 5, they're not allowed to play ball in the house but they run and yell. We sing and dance together and they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes.
Anyway, today we were having a play date and the other child is a screamer. Mom is working hard on teaching him inside voice but the guy likes to yell from the top of his lungs. As our friends are walking out neighbor walks up our driveway and starts complimenting our garden.

I sent the kids into the mud room and she started asking if we could keep our noise down. I apologized and said I didn't know what she meant since they're up at 7 and down by 8pm so she must be hearing noises from another neighbor. She smiled and said she meant noise during the day. I told her that I was sorry if we woke her up and asked what she does for a living she said she's a lawyer and will be working from home for the next 2 months and needs silence during the day.

I wanted to burst in laughter. I seriously thought she was a nurse, ER doctor, paramedic, police officer, firefighter or someone who needs sleep during the day to work overnight but no, she's a lawyer

I told her I was sorry but there was very little I could do at this point. I invited her in to see our set up isolating the walls, I offered to show her all our pictures hanging on walls we don't share because I didn't want to disturb her banging on walls. I mentioned I tried going there a few times to apologize but she chose to turn the lights off and locking the door instead. She blushed. I told her I made my best to build a relationship but she chose to bang on walls instead. I mentioned it was the first day of summer and the kids will be home being kids for the next 12 weeks and told her I will not keep them from playing in their own home during the day. I also told her we lived in apartments for 12 years and we never got a complaint from other neighbors. Everyday reasonable noises are not grounds for complaints. And honestly if she was under us I'd not allow running, etc but she's besides us. It can't be that bad. She does laundry around 10-11PM every other night and the windows in our kids' bedroom shakes to the point it wakes them up and I don't complain.

She started getting altered and raised her voice saying she'd call the authorities if the kids disturbed her once again. I told her to go ahead and call and get laughed at because police won't come to a family's home because small children are giggling while splashing in a kiddy pool. She turned around and left. I went back inside.

DH is scared she'll do something crazy. I'm annoyed.

Did I make a mistake being confrontational? What would you have done?

I know you want a pat on the back for being so "nice" that you baked cookies to take over, but seriously--how was she supposed to know that you weren't sending your husband over to punch her in the head? A woman living alone is unlikely to open the door without knwoing who it is and why they're knocking.

Also, letting your kids slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes makes me think you're not as quiet and well mannered as you'd like people to believe. I bet you let your kids jump on furniture, too.

OP was too accommodating to this person who sounds like a real nut. Banging on walls? This neighbor doesn't want to hear any kid noise. Perhaps she needs to get her self into a single family residence. She is harassing the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are 2 and 5, they're not allowed to play ball in the house but they run and yell. We sing and dance together and they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes.
Anyway, today we were having a play date and the other child is a screamer. Mom is working hard on teaching him inside voice but the guy likes to yell from the top of his lungs.

The kids run and yell, you all sing and dance, they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes, you have a child over who likes to yell at the top of his lungs -- and it's unreasonable of the neighbor to complain about the noise?

Right? Crazy!

I think OP was being reasonable and neighborly when she asked if the lawyer slept during the day, so she knew when to keep it down. Her neighbor WORKS during the day. If she needs quiet, she should rent an office. There are plenty of spaces available.

I'm going to take a guess here, and say you don't work at any sort of job that requires concentration or higher brain function. Even though you'll undoubtedly come back and say that you're working in theoretical astrophysics.

If I needed silence to concentrate for work, I would make sure I did it in an appropriate place -- like an office. You'd think someone in any sort of job that requires higher brain function would see the wisdom of this choice.

OP said the neighbor complained about the prior tenants, too. Guess she is too cheap to rent an office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you are trying to cause trouble, not prevent it. I was on your side at the beginning, but now I'm on the neighbor lawyer's side.

You seem smug and insufferable.

If you go looking for trouble, you will find it. Especially if someone is/has a lawyer.

You seem antagonistic, and more concerned with having the last word, than with actually doing the right thing. I trust this is not the first time.

BTW, there are more sophisticated video resources out there than you know. Know when to say when, and try to be a decent human being instead of having the last word.

If you feel wronged by the world, this neighbor is not going to make a difference, one way or the other. You need to allow for proper perspective here.

Troll. Shoo.

Ignore this ass OP

People need stop crying Troll all the time. It just shows you have no idea what that means. It doesn't mean that when you disagree with someone, they're a troll.

OP does seem antagonistic. As does PP.

Get back to work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why someone who needs to work at home would live in a townhome. You should either live in an old purpose-built apartment (they usually are solidly built and have good soundproofing as a result) or a SFH.

I don't understand why not everyone drives a Mercedes or an Audi. Why do some people live in such small dingy houses? If I can afford to live in a $2.5m dollar home in NWDC, why can't you?

You can find an old apartment for less than a townhome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why someone who needs to work at home would live in a townhome. You should either live in an old purpose-built apartment (they usually are solidly built and have good soundproofing as a result) or a SFH.

I don't understand why not everyone drives a Mercedes or an Audi. Why do some people live in such small dingy houses? If I can afford to live in a $2.5m dollar home in NWDC, why can't you?

You can find an old apartment for less than a townhome.

How would that solve the neighbor's issue with noise from shared walls?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why someone who needs to work at home would live in a townhome. You should either live in an old purpose-built apartment (they usually are solidly built and have good soundproofing as a result) or a SFH.

I don't understand why not everyone drives a Mercedes or an Audi. Why do some people live in such small dingy houses? If I can afford to live in a $2.5m dollar home in NWDC, why can't you?

You can find an old apartment for less than a townhome.

How would that solve the neighbor's issue with noise from shared walls?!

^they are not soundproof. I know this.

[Anonymous]

I think she is being extremely selfish and inconsiderate here.

You are in the right here and have every right to enjoy your home as you please and you are doing so within reason.

Your children have a right to be children and play as they like during daylight hours. If they were doing this at midnight, I could see why she would have a gripe. But as long as they are doing this during regular hours, then she shouldn't complain.

Also, she should have never banged on your walls. This was rude + inconsiderate. She should have been mature enough to walk over and directly let your family know what was bothering her. People who bang on walls are seriously cowards.

And then you went over to try to talk it out and she wouldn't answer the door!! What a wimp!!

Go ahead! Let her threaten you. Don't buy the hype. Continue living your life the way you are + don't let this bad seed influence you.

[Anonymous]

OP, remember - treat people how you want to be treated. There may be a time when you want peace, and your neighbor makes a lot of noise that bothers you and your family. You won't have legs to stand on, if you disregard their frustrations now.

[Anonymous]

If your children are as loud and disruptive as you described, you should rent a single family home where there is space between houses. If they are that bad at 2 and 5, they will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, remember - treat people how you want to be treated. There may be a time when you want peace, and your neighbor makes a lot of noise that bothers you and your family. You won't have legs to stand on, if you disregard their frustrations now.

I went over twice with an apologetic heart. That's exactly how I wish to be treated. Thanks for reminding all of us of this very honorable rule.