Am I being unreasonable? Neighbor complaints about noise - sorry long

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In short -- she came over and asked if you could keep it quieter, and you said

1. No.
2. You're unneighborly.
3. Deal with it.
4. You're loud, too.
5. Go ahead and call the police.

Yes?

Nice summary. Can't imagine why the neighbor was unfriendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know you want a pat on the back for being so "nice" that you baked cookies to take over, but seriously--how was she supposed to know that you weren't sending your husband over to punch her in the head? A woman living alone is unlikely to open the door without knwoing who it is and why they're knocking.

Also, letting your kids slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes makes me think you're not as quiet and well mannered as you'd like people to believe. I bet you let your kids jump on furniture, too.

Um, they live in a townhouse, so she could have looked out her window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to get a letter from the homeowner's association....

OOOOh scare tactics.

She would have to prove this is happening. Good luck to her with that.

THat's not hard at all. Video recorder with sound on.

Jeez, not bright are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In short -- she came over and asked if you could keep it quieter, and you said

1. No.
2. You're unneighborly.
3. Deal with it.
4. You're loud, too.
5. Go ahead and call the police.

Yes?

Nice summary. Can't imagine why the neighbor was unfriendly.

Ah, deh bitches. Always a pleasure.

Clearly you did not actually read the whole post. OP tried being reasonable. It didnt work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both handled it wrong.

She sounds like kind of a jerk, but you need to teach your kids the concept of "inside voices." They shouldn't be yelling in the house except in urgent circumstances.

She can't expect silence during the day but it is reasonable to not want frequent running and yelling.

Take your kids outside more and let them run around and yell in the playground.

I agree about the yelling. You admit that one of the kids was "screaming," and that your kids yell inside. I don't think it's unreasonable not to want to hear screaming and yelling from the apartment next door, even during the day. One the other hand, it's not reasonable to want silence during normal daylight hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to get a letter from the homeowner's association....

OOOOh scare tactics.

She would have to prove this is happening. Good luck to her with that.

THat's not hard at all. Video recorder with sound on.

Jeez, not bright are you?

The neighbor is a lawyer, I wouldn't put it passed her to call in all necessary reinforcements.
I've been on my HOA's board and I could tell you some sad stories about what neighbor's try to do to each other under the guise of the HOA documents. Her profession gives her the leg-up on using these documents to cause a little stress in OP's life.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have 2 kids. We share a wall with our neighbor. Our Neighbors/their Kid's voice's are very loud. Almost every single discussion we can hear. We didn't complain as they moved recently. The lady stopped to introduce her and sat for a while in the living room and then realized how disturbing her kid's voice are at our place. She could hear every single yell/voice/laugh of her kids/husband. She apologized for the disturbance and then moved their play area/room to a different place. I asked her about our noise, she said she doesn't hear any most of the time. May be you can move their play area to a different place and also request her to do her laundry early in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both handled it wrong.

She sounds like kind of a jerk, but you need to teach your kids the concept of "inside voices." They shouldn't be yelling in the house except in urgent circumstances.

She can't expect silence during the day but it is reasonable to not want frequent running and yelling.

Take your kids outside more and let them run around and yell in the playground.

I agree about the yelling. You admit that one of the kids was "screaming," and that your kids yell inside. I don't think it's unreasonable not to want to hear screaming and yelling from the apartment next door, even during the day. One the other hand, it's not reasonable to want silence during normal daylight hours.

Please. There is a difference between "inside voices" and "whispering". It sounds like this woman is not okay with any sort of noise. If she wanted to live in total isolation, she should not have moved to a townhouse.

[Anonymous]

We're in MoCo (not sure where OP is, but I suspect the noise disturbance issues might be similar),and here's the deal.

OP, your children are only allowed 'to be kids' in their own home if the sounds they're making do not exceed the noise levels set up by the county. The levels vary depending on the time of the day and the day of the week. Here's what I'm talking about

http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/DEP/community/noise-ordinance.html

11:54, you're wrong if you believe that "If she needed to sleep during the day because she worked nights, that would be one thing, but it's not reasonable to ask someone not to make noise during the day so you can work at home. They have a right to enjoy their home just as much as you do".

FYI, it doesn't matter if the woman is a lawyer, a stripper or the president of the United States..she is within her rights to demand a certain level of noise protection, night or day. So if the child you're having over for a play date enjoys 'screaming at top of his lungs', repeatedly, over a period of time, your neighbor has the right to call the police... and if you're 'singing and dancing' with the music blasting, your neighbors are also within their rights to complain.

Believe it or not, similar rules apply to dogs barking. 4 barks, and your neighbors can call the cops on you - and the police has to respond to the call.

OP, I suggest you take a hard look at your situation and see if you can find ways to keep the noise down. Once again, no one can request pure silence from their neighbors, but it is perfectly legitimate to expect them to keep the level of noise down to certain levels.

I'm surprised people on this site don't understand this simple issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are 2 and 5, they're not allowed to play ball in the house but they run and yell. We sing and dance together and they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes.
Anyway, today we were having a play date and the other child is a screamer. Mom is working hard on teaching him inside voice but the guy likes to yell from the top of his lungs.

The kids run and yell, you all sing and dance, they love to slide down the stairs on cardboard boxes, you have a child over who likes to yell at the top of his lungs -- and it's unreasonable of the neighbor to complain about the noise?

[Anonymous]

This is so random and not at all related to the issue of noise but OP why are your kids home for 12 weeks in the summer? Maybe you meant that they didn't have school so they will be home more during the day? But really, no kid should just have absolutely nothing to do or no plans for 12 weeks in the summer. Camp, library, pools, rec centers, etc... something other than being home all day.

Just hoping I read that wrong or read too much into the comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're in MoCo (not sure where OP is, but I suspect the noise disturbance issues might be similar),and here's the deal.

OP, your children are only allowed 'to be kids' in their own home if the sounds they're making do not exceed the noise levels set up by the county. The levels vary depending on the time of the day and the day of the week. Here's what I'm talking about

http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/DEP/community/noise-ordinance.html

11:54, you're wrong if you believe that "If she needed to sleep during the day because she worked nights, that would be one thing, but it's not reasonable to ask someone not to make noise during the day so you can work at home. They have a right to enjoy their home just as much as you do".
FYI, it doesn't matter if the woman is a lawyer, a stripper or the president of the United States..she is within her rights to demand a certain level of noise protection, night or day. So if the child you're having over for a play date enjoys 'screaming at top of his lungs', repeatedly, over a period of time, your neighbor has the right to call the police... and if you're 'singing and dancing' with the music blasting, your neighbors are also within their rights to complain.

Believe it or not, similar rules apply to dogs barking. 4 barks, and your neighbors can call the cops on you - and the police has to respond to the call.

OP, I suggest you take a hard look at your situation and see if you can find ways to keep the noise down. Once again, no one can request pure silence from their neighbors, but it is perfectly legitimate to expect them to keep the level of noise down to certain levels.

I'm surprised people on this site don't understand this simple issue.

I disagree. The OP said that the woman wants silence so that she can work at home. That is not reasonable. To expect or request. She's totally within normal bounds to ask that OP not have kids yelling and screaming in the house, or music blasting at a high volume, but silence all day? Not reasonable. If the neighbor had said, "I know that kids make noise, but the yelling and screaming is too much," I don't think very many people would be supporting the OP's refusal to cooperate. But from what we're told, the neighbor is asking far more than she is legally entitled to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so random and not at all related to the issue of noise but OP why are your kids home for 12 weeks in the summer? Maybe you meant that they didn't have school so they will be home more during the day? But really, no kid should just have absolutely nothing to do or no plans for 12 weeks in the summer. Camp, library, pools, rec centers, etc... something other than being home all day.

Just hoping I read that wrong or read too much into the comment.

Why not be home all day?
They already have so many activities during the year. Summer is to relax. They're 3 and 5. They don't need busy schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so random and not at all related to the issue of noise but OP why are your kids home for 12 weeks in the summer? Maybe you meant that they didn't have school so they will be home more during the day? But really, no kid should just have absolutely nothing to do or no plans for 12 weeks in the summer. Camp, library, pools, rec centers, etc... something other than being home all day.

Just hoping I read that wrong or read too much into the comment.

MYOB. If she wants her kids home all day for the whole 12 weeks, that's her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree. The OP said that the woman wants silence so that she can work at home. That is not reasonable. To expect or request. She's totally within normal bounds to ask that OP not have kids yelling and screaming in the house, or music blasting at a high volume, but silence all day? Not reasonable. If the neighbor had said, "I know that kids make noise, but the yelling and screaming is too much," I don't think very many people would be supporting the OP's refusal to cooperate. But from what we're told, the neighbor is asking far more than she is legally entitled to.

Which is to say: OP and the neighbor are both being unreasonable. (Not the PP.)