If you could go back in time would you still have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would choose not to have children. I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities by having a child.

Preach!

[Anonymous]

Oh yes! Wish I would have had my DC when I was younger, so I would have more of a lifetime to spend with him. He's adorable, funny, smart, witty and happy. I wish I had had a couple more children, life is definitely more interesting and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. That said, I'm jealous of childless friends for their time, disposable income, freedom, and sleep. Very jealous. But I still love my life as mom without those four.

I have zero jealousy of my childless friends. I can't imagine having their life. However, I have an amazing DH who is truly a partner in raising our children, so for me, it has been a wonderful ride. I think having a spouse you love and who pitches in makes the experience a huge difference.

You can't imagine their lives? We're you never childless?

I was childless until I was 27. No, I cannot imagine having the freedom I had at 26 today. I don't want it. I don't feel that kids shackle me. I also don't put a huge amount of value in disposable income (partly because I'm comfortable and don't want for anything).

I seriously cannot imagine a life that I would be truly happy in without kids. I have some single friends without kids who are deeply sad that they have not had kids and one who did IVF on her own to fill her void. Some not, and it is GREAT that some women admit that they don't want children and DON'T DO IT, unlike many here who are wasting their Thursday night on an anonymous webisite wistful that they were free of the dreadful burden of a family. My sister is one of those women who does not have kids and has made the wise choice not to sell out on herself. However, if i had her life, it would suck. If she had mine, it would suck and she would be on here wishing she never had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. That said, I'm jealous of childless friends for their time, disposable income, freedom, and sleep. Very jealous. But I still love my life as mom without those four.

I have zero jealousy of my childless friends. I can't imagine having their life. However, I have an amazing DH who is truly a partner in raising our children, so for me, it has been a wonderful ride. I think having a spouse you love and who pitches in makes the experience a huge difference.

You can't imagine their lives? We're you never childless?

I was childless until I was 27. No, I cannot imagine having the freedom I had at 26 today. I don't want it. I don't feel that kids shackle me. I also don't put a huge amount of value in disposable income (partly because I'm comfortable and don't want for anything).

I seriously cannot imagine a life that I would be truly happy in without kids. I have some single friends without kids who are deeply sad that they have not had kids and one who did IVF on her own to fill her void. Some not, and it is GREAT that some women admit that they don't want children and DON'T DO IT, unlike many here who are wasting their Thursday night on an anonymous webisite wistful that they were free of the dreadful burden of a family. My sister is one of those women who does not have kids and has made the wise choice not to sell out on herself. However, if i had her life, it would suck. If she had mine, it would suck and she would be on here wishing she never had kids.

Struck a nerve!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:110%

This is from the Jezebel review of "The Fault in Our Stars" and it perfectly articulates my feelings about being a parent:

"Personally, I never understood what it meant to be sad until I figured out how to be happy. The better my life gets — and I feel very, very fortunate right now — the more I realize that being in love and building a family is the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Is it worth it to fall in love if you're going to die in a month? Or in 50 years? That terror follows my happiness like a shadow; they grow and swell together. It is worth it (to me, I think, though how can I know?), but it hurts."

+ 100

Absolutely! Same man, same life, same kids!

It is exhilarating, fulfilling and frightening at the same time, and I too wonder how I got so lucky...

[Anonymous]

Yes. Would feel totally incomplete without kids. Can't conceive of people not feeling this way. It's biological instinct, yes?

[Anonymous]

Even though my ex cheated and had a diagnosed psychological breakdown, leaving me to raise our 4 year old autistic child alone, I would still do it again. My kid is awesome and my life is so much more fulfilling than it was before.

[Anonymous]

It took me a LONG time to become a mom,,,finally happened 7 months ago when I adopted my baby girl....I am blissfully happy. So, the answer to the question is a resounding !!!YES!!!

[Anonymous]

Everyone has drunk the cool aid and accepted her fate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has drunk the cool aid and accepted her fate

You are drinking something, but I don't think it's kool-aid.

[Anonymous]

No, I adore my kids, particularly as they get older, but I had an amazing life pre-kids. For one, it has destroyed my relationship with my wife.

[Anonymous]

Yes, have two sweet handsome boys who love their mom very much!

[Anonymous]

Having my kids is about the only thing I wouldn't change!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would choose not to have children. I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities by having a child.

+1

This is why I tell people to think long and hard about having children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would choose not to have children. I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities by having a child.

+1

This is why I tell people to think long and hard about having children.

I think some people are very black and white. I KNEW I wanted kids. I was enamored with them from the second they were born. I've never once felt like i missed anything. There are people on the other end who KNOW they don't want kids, no way, no how. However the people in the grey I think struggle with these things. Maybe they are in the grey because they have bought into an expectation that might not be true to their heart.

My mother was one of those. I think she probably should have never had kids, but she did, because that is what she was taught she was to do. She had very little interest in us and no patience. She went about being a mother with much resentment. However, now that we are older and she is older, she is great. She is like having an older friend who does not meddle in my business and who thinks everything I do is great. It has taken me awhile to warm up to her, though I don't think I ever attached to her, but we are in a good place now and I don't hold grudges (my sister though? Oh lordy!).

All of our experiences are different. For me, who always knew I wanted to be a mother, them growing up is very sad. Even though they are only in elementary, I feel like the sun is setting on their childhood. They now sometimes pull back when I grab their hand, tell me they are busy, don't really care for me to read to them, and seem now to want to be with their friends more than us, opposed to when they were little always wanting us, they are growing into independent individuals. It is sad to me because I now realize how magical their little years were, but I spent so much time buried in the trenches and hardly ever popped my head up to enjoy the view. Sometimes this feeling, makes me want to have a 3rd just so I can do it again and "do it right" this time and more enjoy the moment….event he late night feedings. God, what I would pay to have one more miserable night with my 6 month old nursing him back to sleep. One more night of his warm body against me in that rocking chair.