what would you do?? In laws sent my child an Ipad mini for his SIXTH birthday without asking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why? Both my kids have iPads since they were 5. Our rules are: no iPad, TV or video games during the school week. On the weekends they have 2 hours to use any of those. They have received video games, an iPad mini, and their uncle gave them an XBox. The rules still apply and that's it. We've had no issues.

10 years from now what will they wish for---car, boat, horse, 4 wheeler, plane..

We don't have quite this many electronics and believe in limits and think this is a really dumbass conclusion that pp is jumping to

[Anonymous]

First I was like 'wtf OP, just say thank you and move along' and I still think that but do have to say I think it's odd about the gift inequality between siblings and yes, if I was the grandparents, I would have asked before buying an expensive gift like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a horrible PITA DIL.

You thank the in-laws for their generosity and your son now has his own iPad but still uses it with the same family rules as before. Now your other son can have one of the family ones as his exclusive iPad and there is one for "Mom & Dad" to use. There is no reason not to accept the gift, but put it under the family rules. It's just plain obnoxious and rude to refuse a generous gift from a child's grandparents because you're a bitch who resents her in-laws so much that you won't accept an expensive gift from them because they can't read your mind about what you think is an appropriate gift.

Don't you have bigger fish to fry, OP? PP is right on the mark. You have no manners.

[Anonymous]

I think you are overreacting a bit. Say thank you for the gift and set the same limits on the new device that you currently have. This truly isn't something to get so worked up about. That said, I am OK with my kids having/using technology. Maybe it's because their dad is an engineer, but I just don't see it as a big deal. In fact, NPR ran this great story recently about people being up in arms when the eraser was invented because they thought kids wouldn't be careful with the quality of their work. Progressive happens. The iPads of today will be the erasers of tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 ipads in our house that are used by the entire family. I have 2 boys and I'd say they use them about 25-30 min per week. My husband and I also each have an Iphone that they can play with on occasion if we are on a long car ride or they want to use them to take a picture, etc. My point is ..we have plenty of technology. My Inlaws who live out of state sent my son an Ipad mini for his 6th birthday and they did not ask us or tell us that they were doing this. They are not the easiest people to get along with, I should add...they are very controlling and opinionated and just in general people I try to limit my time with. That being said, I am not sure how to handle the gift. I think the "exclusive ownership" of an item such as an Ipad needs to wait until my son is much older. He had never wanted his own (although he was thrilled to receive it) nor does he need his own. He has plenty of time for that sort of thing. What would you do?? My husband agrees with me but feels bad because he thinks they were just doing something nice since they live so far and don't see them often. I really don't care what their intentions were..I don't want my son to keep the gift. Any ideas??!!!! Its driving me crazy!!
Thank you!!!!

The above is from the OP that started the entire thread.

Check out the sections in bold. Pretty clear that you have someone who does not like her in-laws and that is what is driving her animosity and attitude.

OP has some gall to say that her in-laws are "controlling and opinionated" given her reaction to this whole thing. And she goes so far as to say that this non-issue is "driving me crazy". OP comes across as a neurotic woman - and her kid having an iPad at the age of six is the least of the issues that those kids face if this represents the way she deals with such minor problems.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness they didn't give him a pony or puppy. Anyway, I agree with most of the posters. So you know my parents did not buy us a car, pay for college, pay for our wedding, allow us to have a tv in our room, let us have a phone in our room etc. Even money we earned had limits. If we purchased an outfit that was over the top, I'm sure our parents would have made us return it. I remember vividly wanting to buy a leather jacket in high school and my mom said I didn't need a leather jacket and would not allow me to spend my own money to get it.

I'm with everyone that says the parents set the limits period. If your kid earns enough money for a second hand car does that mean he can drive anywhere he wants when he wants or are you going to set rules even with his car while he lives in your house? My in-laws will run expensive gifts by us first and I'm grateful. On one hand I can understand you don't want your kids to be spoiled. I would not be happy of my in-laws purchased another American Girl doll. On the other hand, I think they gave your son a gift that you can easily control. If your issue is with the number of X that your kid has, you sell/donate one of the older ones when you get a new one. If your kid isn't old enough (which doesn't seem to be the case since your kid uses your ipad now), you put it up until they are old enough to use it. If you think your kid can use it but is not old enough to take care of it, don't put them in a situation where they are responsible for it. We don't allow the kids to take their iPod touch to camp. if you are concerned about the amount of time it is used, keep it in your room and only allow it certain times. You are annoyed with your in-laws in general so you see this as one more thing but honestly there is already the expectation that electronics have limits so this isn't a surprise to your son. You say thank you and go about your business. I don't believe in gifts being dictated and I like the element or surprise so the passive aggressive "oh but you know we already had two and Johnny will barely use the gift" or hints that a 529 would have been better" is ungracious. IF you think a conversation needs to be had about gifts because next time it might be a pony, your husband has to think so and be willing to talk to his parents. You have to also be prepared that they may get offended and not send gifts at all.

[Anonymous]

Say thank you and put whatever restrictions you need to on the use of the iPad- can only use it when you say, kept with the other iPads and not in his room, etc.

This...not really that hard

+1000.

You're overreacting, OP. You are also rather rude.