Reply to what would you do?? In laws sent my child an Ipad mini for his SIXTH birthday without asking

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[quote=Anonymous]Thank goodness they didn't give him a pony or puppy. Anyway, I agree with most of the posters.  So you know my parents did not buy us a car, pay for college, pay for our wedding, allow us to have a tv in our room, let us have a phone in our room etc.  Even money we earned had limits.  If we purchased an outfit that was over the top, I'm sure our parents would have made us return it.  I remember vividly wanting to buy a leather jacket in high school and my mom said I didn't need a leather jacket and would not allow me to spend my own money to get it.

I'm with everyone that says the parents set the limits period. If your kid earns enough money for a second hand car does that mean he can drive anywhere he wants when he wants or are you going to set rules even with his car while he lives in your house?  My in-laws will run expensive gifts by us first and I'm grateful.  On one hand I can understand you don't want your kids to be spoiled.  I would not be happy of my in-laws purchased another American Girl doll.  On the other hand, I think they gave your son a gift that you can easily control.  If your issue is with the number of X that your kid has, you sell/donate one of the older ones when you get a new one.  If your kid isn't old enough (which doesn't seem to be the case since your kid uses your ipad now), you put it up until they are old enough to use it.  If you think your kid can use it but is not old enough to take care of it, don't put them in a situation where they are responsible for it.  We don't allow the kids to take their iPod touch to camp.  if you are concerned about the amount of time it is used, keep it in your room and only allow it certain times.  You are annoyed with your in-laws in general so you see this as one more thing but honestly there is already the expectation that electronics have limits so this isn't a surprise to your son.   You say thank you and go about your business.  I don't believe in gifts being dictated and I like the element or surprise  so the passive aggressive "oh but you know we already had two and Johnny will barely use the gift"  or hints that a 529 would have been better" is ungracious.  IF you think a conversation needs to be had about gifts because next time it might be a pony, your husband has to think so and be willing to talk to his parents. You have to also be prepared that they may get offended and not send gifts at all.[/quote]

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