Making $500k and not feeling wealthy in NW

[Anonymous]

OP, i really feel for you that you are stuck making ~500k for the foreseeable future. do you have family who could help you out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We didn't overpay for our house. Our mortgage is actually one of the more manageable expenses and we don't intend to move until kids are in college and by then (using DC price history) we should have seen a really nice appreciation. It's just that people see us and they think we're rich, marketers always contact us, ugh! And DH does dumb stuff sometimes like impulsively buying 2 new computers a laptop and a desktop (Macs) because "they were on sale".

What a kid! Sorry, kids.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I feel for you. You need to cut costs, be smartly frugal, and create the wealth by saving and investing.

You will not get wealthy if you are trying to keep up with the joneses.

[Anonymous]

why are people responding to this bullshit?

[Anonymous]

OP, you should read "The Millionaire Next Door." An excellent read. You are a classic case of Big Hat/No Cattle. Your assets/savings should equal your age times your income divided by 10. So say you are 40 and income is $500k. You should have at least $2M in assets/equity. If you do, you are doing alright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I feel for you. You need to cut costs, be smartly frugal, and create the wealth by saving and investing.

You will not get wealthy if you are trying to keep up with the joneses.

OP IS saving and investing! Read the original post. Part of why she is feeling the pinch is because of "saving for college, retirement, long term care."

Agree that she needs the world's smallest violin, though.

PP with the just-turned-4-year-old - you have problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's a mindset and this area breeds it. I never thought at this level of income I'd want more, but as your income rises the expectations grow exponentially as well.

Yes, it is a mindset. You have control over your mindset. You control your choices: Where you live, where your kids go to school, what clothing you wear, what car(s) you drive, whether and where you go on vacation.

You want more because your mindset is that you "need" more. If you had more, that same mindset will exist and you will still want more. And so on.

Our HHI is half yours (a princely sum by most measures in the world). We live in Silver Spring and our kids go to public school. We take nice vacations, have a nice house, enjoy our lives. Our kids volunteer at A Wider Circle and at a church homeless hospitality program. They know how fortunate they are - they know they are rich. They appreciate what they have and do not seek more. That is the mindset we set out to instill in them, because we want their lives to be about people and experiences and love and gratitude, and not about status and stuff.

You can do the same.

[Anonymous]

There's a book called "Millionaire Next Door." Get it. Read it. Adjust your budget and expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes you seriously might want to consider public school. Also do you have friends of varying incomes? That can be helpful. We are on the "poorer" side for DC - so I like to point out to my kid that some of her friends live in townhouses too - even though other friends live in big single family homes.

We do have a few friends who live in town homes but most of then seem to want to do play dates at the park or meet somewhere else since their homes are smaller. Ds is having a really hard time with this friend who of course is his best friend. He will say why do we only have 2 cars "tommy" has 8 cars. The first time the boy came to our house he commented on how small it is. Our house is 8,000 square feet. I try to explain to ds most children don't live like " Tommy" but he is jealous. I'm hoping this phase passes soon.

I am sure it's a phase, but also think of it as a teaching opportunity. read him a story about third world village life (I am sure there are uplifting books out there about what life is like - doesn't have to be sad). take him with and volunteer at a pantry or clothes closet.

Get him this book, and read it with him. Open his eyes to how most people around the world live.

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Just-Like-Me-Celebration/dp/0789402017

[Anonymous]

OP here. I understand that there are people in this town a few miles over that don't even make half of what we do, and we should be thankful and count our blessings. I get that. I'm thankful for the things we have, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel and I thought that at this level we would be able to do things like buy a second home in rural Va, but DH is working every weekend any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I understand that there are people in this town a few miles over that don't even make half of what we do, and we should be thankful and count our blessings. I get that. I'm thankful for the things we have, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel and I thought that at this level we would be able to do things like buy a second home in rural Va, but DH is working every weekend any way.

You just keep making this worse. There are people making less than 5% of what you make. You sound very dense. Do you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only conclude that "feeling wealthy" means "not ever having to think about money ever." So if you ever even have to check the balance on your accounts or can't afford the too of the market, you don't "feel wealthy." There seems to be no way to "feel wealthy" unless you are as rich as the richest person around.

You are wrong. I am one of the PPs whose HHI is about $160,000. I have to think about money. I have to check and double check balances. I shop sales and use coupons. I carefully budget our money.

I feel very wealthy because we are able live in a nice house in a safe neighborhood. My children go to good schools. They wear nice clothes. They can participate in extra-curricular activities. We have air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter. We have plenty of food - way more than we need. We can take roads trips to visit family every year and we can afford little vacations here and there. We have great health insurance. My DH has a relatively flexible job. We can afford for me to SAH.

Seriously...What more could I possibly ask for? In a country where children go to bed hungry, how could I possibly complain about "not feeling wealthy". Stop and think about how incredibly selfish you sound. "Feeling wealthy" will happen when you learn to appreciate what you have and when you stop comparing your things to other people's things.

golf clap to you describing a typical middle class lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I understand that there are people in this town a few miles over that don't even make half of what we do, and we should be thankful and count our blessings. I get that. I'm thankful for the things we have, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel and I thought that at this level we would be able to do things like buy a second home in rural Va, but DH is working every weekend any way.

Get off the wheel. Make different choices. Stop comparing yourself to others.

You get one life. Don't spend it focused on status and stuff. You are stifling your humanity.

[Anonymous]

My secret is to be at least twice the median income for a neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Move to Arlington, McLean, Potomac, Bethesda or Chevy Chase. Send your children to PUBLIC SCHOOL. Bank the money you save. In two years, 120k downpayment on the VA house. Or, pay off your mortgage and then save over a few more years for the VA country house. You are a fool for thinking you could have it all for 500k (without coming from major family wealth who set you up in your first house or paid for school).