Making $500k and not feeling wealthy in NW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are bringing in $500k a year. I'm curious if that has made you happier than when you were earning $100k? If the answer is "no", perhaps trying to make more, to have more will similarly not make you any happier. It might be time to consider what is missing, despite all this extra stuff. There are communities outside of the district where people live more modestly, and statistically, those people will typically rank themselves as being happier than those in your same tax bracket. It might be prudent to figure out what it is about the middle class that you seem to have lost, because making more money isn't likely to address the issue.

Making $100k, living in a GP hole, walking to Smith Point or Old Glory, those were the days. So happy. No care in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are bringing in $500k a year. I'm curious if that has made you happier than when you were earning $100k? If the answer is "no", perhaps trying to make more, to have more will similarly not make you any happier. It might be time to consider what is missing, despite all this extra stuff. There are communities outside of the district where people live more modestly, and statistically, those people will typically rank themselves as being happier than those in your same tax bracket. It might be prudent to figure out what it is about the middle class that you seem to have lost, because making more money isn't likely to address the issue.

Making $100k, living in a GP hole, walking to Smith Point or Old Glory, those were the days. So happy. No care in the world.

+1 I also didn't have kids or a mortgage back then!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:People are stupid as shit.

If someone makes more than you, you automatically think it's like billions.

Newflash 500k a year vs 1 million vs 5 million are different.

People tend to lump 300k through 5 billion into the same class of people, being rich and telling them to shutup.

We've made $500k/year. I didn't feel like crazy OP.

Do you live in DC, paying for private schools, in a normal sized 3000 SF house?

Yes. We make more now and I feel positively wealthy. But right around the time we hit $500k is when I felt really comfortable. Other than really big purchases, I really never had to think about money/a budget. That is a huge luxury that most people never get. Of course, it helps that I am not an idiot and didn't think my toilet would be gold plated, too.

Did you have a large downpayment on your home? That's the main issue around here, housing is very expensive. We had to start from scratch and did very little down on a 1 million. It has grown 20% over the last few years but again it sucks down a lot of income. We are only at 300-360k

Yes we did. Because we saved for it over the course of many years. Rich doesn't mean you get to go on a drunken spending spree and buy whatever you want. But, if you can afford an expensive house, nice cars, retirement and college savings, childcare and other things like that around here, you don't really have room to complain. It is very tone deaf and insulting to actual people who often have to choose between living in a safe place/good school district or having a child. Or paying for a pricey daycare and ever buying a home.

FYI, I am not OP I am just explaining as to why some people feel that they aren't in that "wealth" category despite making a sizable income. Many of us didn't have large salaries until we had kids and then a immediately are thrown into a situation where we don't have time to save.

If you can't save on $360k/year, you are doing something wrong. Something very wrong.

Exactly

Let's say you made very little like 40k a year.

Then at age 32 you started making 350k a year, have two kids and need to buy a house.

You don't have time to save, if we tried to save for a downpayment on a decent house we wouldn't have it until the kids are moved out.

What don't you get.

This ain't detroit a house costs at least 1.5 million.

Mine didn't. It was $409k for three bedrooms and a big back yard in the district (yes NW) proper. Now it's worth $600k and I've done nothing but change the paint and switch up some plants.

[Anonymous]

MAN I wish this thread would die. I don't need something else getting my blood pressure up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MAN I wish this thread would die. I don't need something else getting my blood pressure up.

HUH?

[Anonymous]

felt the same way as OP living in area more expensive than here, making around 500K. Didn't feel wealthy, although we do have a healthy nest egg (that is the big difference between well off people and others..size of the retirement). So you know what we did, we moved! Smaller mortgage, bigger house, decent public school, 2 paid off older cars, no other loans than the house. We can take more vacations but hard for DH to get time off. We have no complaints now. Feel very blessed. Little stress and kids doing well in school (one got into GT). Advice to OP, move and downsize your life. Are you kidding me. You know what I see in your future, that girl in NJ who sued her parents for college and living expenses...entitlement. If you don't get your lifestyle and finances in control, your kids will turn out like her. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's a mindset and this area breeds it. I never thought at this level of income I'd want more, but as your income rises the expectations grow exponentially as well.

Actually it is the mindset of new money and people feeling they have to prove their worth through conspicuous consumption, which I was taught was gauche. It is indeed a mindset. But you can retrain your brain and protect your children.

I grew up with old (but not very much) money. Private schools here on a single income at the time was the norm. Do not believe my parents would make that choice in this environment, with these tuition prices. Absolutely not worth it, and most of my peers whom I respect who moved back here are in Va or Md or doing the DC public school dance. Refusal to join CC club or participate in Ms. Shippens out of principle (my father's - my mother desperately wanted them, perhaps why she married him, famous family but not infamous). Our decision and those of our friends not to send our kids to private school is because of the population there now. I never want my kids to feel poor, because they are not. I never want them to feel entitled to anything they do not earn, because they are not. We send our kids to charters.

Hand me downs from cousins and cars we drove into the ground were the norm, as were summers on Nantucket. My kids are the 4th generation on Nantucket, not sure that we will not be the last - we don't like or have much in common with the people there anymore, old breed is dying out and our friends are not staying unless their families are made of money, which I did not notice until now............ That is the only loss I regret, the community up there. But it is gone, and keeping the house won't change that.

People who grow up feeling they have nothing to prove have no need to spend and can live (and earn) a lot less. We are saving quite a bit, though. Want our kids to graduate debt free........

We live in Spring Valley. My husband comes from nothing and feels that we are quite wealthy. I occasionally long for things that are simply beyond my reach, partially due to our salaries, but partially due to the fact that times have changed. Sycamore Island hasn't. Only contact with private school parents is from church, and money does not tend to be brought up there all that much......... Or maybe we just do not hang out with those who discuss it - natural self selection...

All in all, pretty happy with my lot in life, kids' education secure due to charter, great and more than average number of children, and friends who also mostly seem to have three or more, so maybe that is how we self select. But decent honest unpretentious forthright people. Worst that can be said is we are intellectual snobs...

OP, I feel very sorry for you because I don't think you will ever be happy or comfortable not just with your income but with your family and in your own skin. Go to church. Try to make friends with a different class of people, who have different values, and maybe they can alter your mindset and help you make different choices or feel more comfortable that you are making the ones you are for the right reasons. Hint: Forget anyone whose last name is Jones and anyone who idolizes or aspires to be like people with that last name............

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1