Making $500k and not feeling wealthy in NW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand op. my situation is somewhat different. I sah and have 2 young children. We live in the burbs and my 4 yr old thinks that we are poor because we don't live in a 10 million dollar mansion. We are by no means poor and our house is worth about 2 million but to my 4 yr old it isn't good enough. Only going to disney world once in his short life is not good enough. Private pre school I think is to blame and I am seriously considering public school for kindergarten.He told me my car which is a Honda pilot is not good enough and he feels embarrassed. I grew up middle class and never felt embarrassed or ashamed of my parents. And what baffles me the most is we are upper middle class for this area.

Wow. You have your work cut out for you with your 4 year old. If I were you, that would be keeping me up at night, literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand op. my situation is somewhat different. I sah and have 2 young children. We live in the burbs and my 4 yr old thinks that we are poor because we don't live in a 10 million dollar mansion. We are by no means poor and our house is worth about 2 million but to my 4 yr old it isn't good enough. Only going to disney world once in his short life is not good enough. Private pre school I think is to blame and I am seriously considering public school for kindergarten.He told me my car which is a Honda pilot is not good enough and he feels embarrassed. I grew up middle class and never felt embarrassed or ashamed of my parents. And what baffles me the most is we are upper middle class for this area.

Wow. You have your work cut out for you with your 4 year old. If I were you, that would be keeping me up at night, literally.

We have four grown kids and one still at home. As a parent, I would feel like a complete failure if any of my kids had that kind of attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's a mindset and this area breeds it. I never thought at this level of income I'd want more, but as your income rises the expectations grow exponentially as well.

Please answer 11:08.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand op. my situation is somewhat different. I sah and have 2 young children. We live in the burbs and my 4 yr old thinks that we are poor because we don't live in a 10 million dollar mansion. We are by no means poor and our house is worth about 2 million but to my 4 yr old it isn't good enough. Only going to disney world once in his short life is not good enough. Private pre school I think is to blame and I am seriously considering public school for kindergarten.He told me my car which is a Honda pilot is not good enough and he feels embarrassed. I grew up middle class and never felt embarrassed or ashamed of my parents. And what baffles me the most is we are upper middle class for this area.

Wow. You have your work cut out for you with your 4 year old. If I were you, that would be keeping me up at night, literally.

We have four grown kids and one still at home. As a parent, I would feel like a complete failure if any of my kids had that kind of attitude.

I agree. This is incredibly sad. Kids pick up on their parents' attitudes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We didn't overpay for our house. Our mortgage is actually one of the more manageable expenses and we don't intend to move until kids are in college and by then (using DC price history) we should have seen a really nice appreciation. It's just that people see us and they think we're rich, marketers always contact us, ugh! And DH does dumb stuff sometimes like impulsively buying 2 new computers a laptop and a desktop (Macs) because "they were on sale".

Okay well that's your problem - random consumption. While you may not have bought more house than you can afford, if you aren't left with 2-3k of wiggle room each month, then you're paying a lot for something or a combination of somethings. Your HHI is double ours, and I'm not sure what you'd have to spend to be maxed out each month. Let me guess:
4k in mortgage
5k in school tuition
1.5k food
2k retirement
2k 529s
$500 utilities
$200 gas & insurance
Random consumption: shopping, household help, etc = ?
-----
Total: 15k + random (or 182k a year plus randoms)

So if you're take home after taxes and insurance premiums is 60%, then you have an extra $118k/year (almost 10k/month) for random stuff. Where is that 10k going? Obviously I'm just pulling a lot of these out of thin air, but I tried to guess on the upper end of things, except for the mortgage since you said that's manageable.

[Anonymous]

Can't believe a 4yo is conscious of such things.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, OP, you must be a troll.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After taxes (Fed and District), private school for 1 and second coming from local DCPS into private, saving for college, retirement, long term care, helping out family members etc. You feel really squeezed. Our brother inlaw in Houston get to take 3 or 4 vacations a year on about $300k a year, we can only take one real one and then have to huff it to Delaware for the weekend. It kind of is a rat race and we're stuck in this income zone for the foreseeable future (thanks biglaw profit slips).

So, there are luxuries that you're taking for granted. You live in NW. You pay for private school for not just one but TWO children. You are able to fully pay your bills and still save fully for college, retirement, LTC, insurance AND still help out family members.

You do realize that 90% of the population of the DC metro area have to compromise on two or more of the items on this list? Usually four or more. Most of the people I know live out in the suburbs because they can't afford to live in close. They do not pay for private school. And they pick and choose which of the above they can handle.

You have truly deceived yourself into believing that you have barely covered necessities when in fact you have made some very luxurious and expensive choices that most of the region cannot afford. It is definitely time for a reality check. You are going to find very few people sympathizing with you because you are in the top 0.4% of the income bracket even in this area (the top 1% makes in the mid $300K range).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's a mindset and this area breeds it. I never thought at this level of income I'd want more, but as your income rises the expectations grow exponentially as well.

They only grow if you let them. Take responsibility for your own actions and choices and try not to place blame anywhere but yourself and your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand op. my situation is somewhat different. I sah and have 2 young children. We live in the burbs and my 4 yr old thinks that we are poor because we don't live in a 10 million dollar mansion. We are by no means poor and our house is worth about 2 million but to my 4 yr old it isn't good enough. Only going to disney world once in his short life is not good enough. Private pre school I think is to blame and I am seriously considering public school for kindergarten.He told me my car which is a Honda pilot is not good enough and he feels embarrassed. I grew up middle class and never felt embarrassed or ashamed of my parents. And what baffles me the most is we are upper middle class for this area.

Wow. You have your work cut out for you with your 4 year old. If I were you, that would be keeping me up at night, literally.

We have four grown kids and one still at home. As a parent, I would feel like a complete failure if any of my kids had that kind of attitude.

Wait you mean the post about the 4 year old wasn't a joke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's a mindset and this area breeds it. I never thought at this level of income I'd want more, but as your income rises the expectations grow exponentially as well.

I don't know about this. We live just outside the district in a 2 bedroom that we were really excited to be able to afford when we first moved into it years ago. Our income has since doubled but our expenses have not - we feel financially very comfortable because we have a few thousand extra to put towards extra savings each month. It's the first time since we got married that we could buy what we wanted without giving it too much thought AND have extra left over at the end of the month. It feels great. If you don't currently experience this, I highly highly recommend moving out of the district into a cheaper (and maybe even larger) home, better school district, and surrounding yourself by more modest people.

[Anonymous]

You are completely out of touch with reality, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have leased cars or car payments? If so, this and the private school are the culprits. Not a couple of computers.

How would car payments explain OP's issue? We have $260/month in car loan for a car we bought new. Even if OP had 1k a month in monthly car payments, that still wouldn't explain the thousands that are being wasted every month and tens of thousands each year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have leased cars or car payments? If so, this and the private school are the culprits. Not a couple of computers.

How would car payments explain OP's issue? We have $260/month in car loan for a car we bought new. Even if OP had 1k a month in monthly car payments, that still wouldn't explain the thousands that are being wasted every month and tens of thousands each year.

I'm betting OP drives a luxury brand. If she has a payment, it is not $260.