What are Fair Expectations for Stay-at-Home Dad

[Anonymous]

He gets to bang the hot wives at the playground - think Patrick Wilsoni in "Little Children."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? if 1 to 1.5 years speech delayed, I'm imagining at least 2.5 Who puts a 2.5 year old in a playpen? ????

DC is almost 2 and came in at 6-9 months on speech scale. As for PP, DH doesn't have hobbies or activities and seldom leaves the house on his own. By seldom, I mean years ago...that is a whole different issue.

Why are you not jumping up and down tearing your hair out? It's obvious your child is not getting what he needs from his SAHD. Don't you agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? if 1 to 1.5 years speech delayed, I'm imagining at least 2.5 Who puts a 2.5 year old in a playpen? ????

DC is almost 2 and came in at 6-9 months on speech scale. As for PP, DH doesn't have hobbies or activities and seldom leaves the house on his own. By seldom, I mean years ago...that is a whole different issue.

Why are you not jumping up and down tearing your hair out? It's obvious your child is not getting what he needs from his SAHD. Don't you agree?

Honestly, I'm not sure how much blame to put on him about the speech thing (nature v. nurture and all), but I'm pretty close to hair-tearing as a general matter. DH is such a good guy though, just lazy and unfocused as all get-out, and pretty much raised in front of the TV himself so he sees no issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? if 1 to 1.5 years speech delayed, I'm imagining at least 2.5 Who puts a 2.5 year old in a playpen? ????

DC is almost 2 and came in at 6-9 months on speech scale. As for PP, DH doesn't have hobbies or activities and seldom leaves the house on his own. By seldom, I mean years ago...that is a whole different issue.

Why are you not jumping up and down tearing your hair out? It's obvious your child is not getting what he needs from his SAHD. Don't you agree?

+1

OP, your son would be much better off in a high-quality preschool or daycare than with his dad. Is DS getting speech services?

Your DH should get a job stat, even if it is only PT, with your son in morning preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? if 1 to 1.5 years speech delayed, I'm imagining at least 2.5 Who puts a 2.5 year old in a playpen? ????

DC is almost 2 and came in at 6-9 months on speech scale. As for PP, DH doesn't have hobbies or activities and seldom leaves the house on his own. By seldom, I mean years ago...that is a whole different issue.

Why are you not jumping up and down tearing your hair out? It's obvious your child is not getting what he needs from his SAHD. Don't you agree?

Honestly, I'm not sure how much blame to put on him about the speech thing (nature v. nurture and all), but I'm pretty close to hair-tearing as a general matter. DH is such a good guy though, just lazy and unfocused as all get-out, and pretty much raised in front of the TV himself so he sees no issue.

Your child is speech delayed, significantly so. He needs help he is not getting. Early intervention is critical.

How your DH was raised is irrelevant.

You must do something for your child. How can you not see that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is speech delayed, significantly so. He needs help he is not getting. Early intervention is critical.

How your DH was raised is irrelevant.

You must do something for your child. How can you not see that?

I do see that but also do not want to be overly reactionary. If my expectations are unreasonable, I don't want to push. The consensus is that, at least with respect to child care, my expectations are more than reasonable and perhaps a little lax.

DH definitely needs to buck up, but I confess to not knowing how to make someone do more than they are willing to do. I can't make him work, we can't afford daycare, and, as PPs pointed out, I can't micromanage his day with our child, including making him go to therapy.

[Anonymous]

He may work better with a list of stuff that needs to be done. Let him draw it up with your help. If he ain't working there should be nothing to do on the weekends. But even if you were home, you kid needs to get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is speech delayed, significantly so. He needs help he is not getting. Early intervention is critical.

How your DH was raised is irrelevant.

You must do something for your child. How can you not see that?

I do see that but also do not want to be overly reactionary. If my expectations are unreasonable, I don't want to push. The consensus is that, at least with respect to child care, my expectations are more than reasonable and perhaps a little lax.

DH definitely needs to buck up, but I confess to not knowing how to make someone do more than they are willing to do. I can't make him work, we can't afford daycare, and, as PPs pointed out, I can't micromanage his day with our child, including making him go to therapy.

Your county will provide services to your child for speech. You can set this up regardless of your DH's incompetence. I believe they will go to your home.

You really cannot NOT do this, it is as critical as any medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may work better with a list of stuff that needs to be done. Let him draw it up with your help. If he ain't working there should be nothing to do on the weekends. But even if you were home, you kid needs to get help.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wel i can tell yo porn and the m word.. will be on his daily agenda. lots of tv and instead of walks to the park, walks to a lot of areas to watch women walk by.
but he will be able to get all you need im to get done in a lot less time than you do because he will jsut get it doen quickly withouth over thinking it.

I second that, especially on the porn and the m part..

[Anonymous]

OP, you CAN get your child to a private speech therapist for an assessment, and get on the list for county intervention. Bring your husband with you. He needs to hear their recommendations. Then the speech therapist will recommend a course of action, and it will come from a medical professional, not just nagging from you. The course of action will probably be hour-long speech therapy sessions at least once a week, at least some of which will be covered by insurance. Not sure where you are, but we go to CITG in Bethesda and it has been life-changing for my son. Your "D"H not getting off of his duff to do this is parental malpractice. Your child will also benefit from interaction with other children, which will also require them to leave the house, but first things first.

[Anonymous]

He sounds very depressed to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you CAN get your child to a private speech therapist for an assessment, and get on the list for county intervention. Bring your husband with you. He needs to hear their recommendations. Then the speech therapist will recommend a course of action, and it will come from a medical professional, not just nagging from you. The course of action will probably be hour-long speech therapy sessions at least once a week, at least some of which will be covered by insurance. Not sure where you are, but we go to CITG in Bethesda and it has been life-changing for my son. Your "D"H not getting off of his duff to do this is parental malpractice. Your child will also benefit from interaction with other children, which will also require them to leave the house, but first things first.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is speech delayed, significantly so. He needs help he is not getting. Early intervention is critical.

How your DH was raised is irrelevant.

You must do something for your child. How can you not see that?

I do see that but also do not want to be overly reactionary. If my expectations are unreasonable, I don't want to push. The consensus is that, at least with respect to child care, my expectations are more than reasonable and perhaps a little lax.

DH definitely needs to buck up, but I confess to not knowing how to make someone do more than they are willing to do. I can't make him work, we can't afford daycare, and, as PPs pointed out, I can't micromanage his day with our child, including making him go to therapy.

OP, sincere question: Why isn't your DH working? It does not sound as if he sought to be a SAHD. Or as if he really enjoys your son.

Why doesn't he work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is speech delayed, significantly so. He needs help he is not getting. Early intervention is critical.

How your DH was raised is irrelevant.

You must do something for your child. How can you not see that?

I do see that but also do not want to be overly reactionary. If my expectations are unreasonable, I don't want to push. The consensus is that, at least with respect to child care, my expectations are more than reasonable and perhaps a little lax.

DH definitely needs to buck up, but I confess to not knowing how to make someone do more than they are willing to do. I can't make him work, we can't afford daycare, and, as PPs pointed out, I can't micromanage his day with our child, including making him go to therapy.

OP, sincere question: Why isn't your DH working? It does not sound as if he sought to be a SAHD. Or as if he really enjoys your son.

Why doesn't he work?

He got laid off and hasn't even started trying to look as a SAHD. He was going to do SAHD for a year and then look, but it is always "just another couple of months." He does enjoy our son, though, at least I think he does.