Rudeness to Waiter Deal Breaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I had almost a week to process what happened. We are from a "loud" culture so yelling isn't a deal breaker. Treating a customer service person badly is a big red flag. I added a big tip (from his wallet) so I do think he understands he crossed the line and he apologized to me. I think I will watch us very carefully but this alone will not make me end it with him.

He gives you his wallet after a couple of months of dating?

I'd lose respect for someone who yelled at a waiter. He threw a temper tantrum in public, for a bullshit reason.

yes I have access to his wallet. he also gave me a set of keys to his house and his Mercedes Benz. I know it was a stupid temper tantrum

I frankly took this as a post from a troll pretending to be OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I had almost a week to process what happened. We are from a "loud" culture so yelling isn't a deal breaker. Treating a customer service person badly is a big red flag. I added a big tip (from his wallet) so I do think he understands he crossed the line and he apologized to me. I think I will watch us very carefully but this alone will not make me end it with him.

OP, you are making a mistake. I am from a very loud culture, and this guy is a jerk. he yelled to the waiter (even in a loud culture this is a no-no), and then at you, was mean all evening. this would be the dealbreaker. the fact that he apologized later is simply part of an abuser pattern. abusers abuse, and then apologize. if this is life you want, go ahead. was your first DH a jerk too? if so, you should wonder why you end up with this type of people. good luck

[Anonymous]

So OP, why even bother asking the question when you got the answer that you really didn't want to hear? Deep down you know its a huge red flag, and yet you are "choosing to move forward cautiously"...what's the point of moving forward? We all know exactly where this is going. The guy is 39 and never married. There is a reason for that.

He is an asshole and he will only get worse not better. Pretty soon he'll start putting you down and making you feel like you can't find anyone better, so you'll stay with him. If all you care about is his Mercedes and money, then I guess that's what you deserve.

I think you are only staying with him because you are insecure about being divorced and not being able to "ever find someone again"...seriously. You can do better than this.

Please get out now before you become too emotionally invested in this jerk. If you don't believe any of us, then see a counselor. Maybe he/she can get you to realize why you are attracted to this type of person in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I had almost a week to process what happened. We are from a "loud" culture so yelling isn't a deal breaker. Treating a customer service person badly is a big red flag. I added a big tip (from his wallet) so I do think he understands he crossed the line and he apologized to me. I think I will watch us very carefully but this alone will not make me end it with him.

Are you kidding me, OP?
How did your father treat your mother?

[Anonymous]

I've ended two friendships with people who behave like this. This behavior was just part of other horrid behaviors that I just had no time for.

[Anonymous]

OP here. You guys are right and if he doesn't change I'll use the time to get myself out of the situation. We overlap professionally and socially. He even lives near me.

[Anonymous]

Nice try troll.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You guys are right and if he doesn't change I'll use the time to get myself out of the situation. We overlap professionally and socially. He even lives near me.

Please listen to the other posters. It seems that you're trying to keep the relationship and "buy time." Is it because of his money? You're making a huge mistake. He's not going to change. Uptight people with a low frustration tolerance who yell at waiters, blast their horns at other drivers, throw temper tantrums over smaller irritations each day, etc. are not the kinds of people who are easy to live with over the long haul. As others have said, end it before you're too heavily invested in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why a guy would be giving a woman he's been dating for 2-3 months:

1) access to his wallet
2) a key to his car
3) a key to his house

or why a woman would be okay with a guy doing this

I assume, of course, it didn't go down like this:
1) Waiter gets the order wrong, is rude/dismissive/etc.
2) (optional) OP goads the guy into being rude himself (*)
3) The guy is rude back
4) OP embarrasses the guy publicly.
5) The guy yells at OP
6) OP becomes St. Victim.

(*) There's plenty of women out there fucked up enough to believe their man's only being a man if he's aggressive/loud.

I wonder if OP is one of those hard-to-maintain Persian kitties or Latina princesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might forgive getting cranky at a waiter if it was an anomaly (and a true screw up) and everything else was great, and he apologized for it. But the yelling at you and pouting?? No way.

I agree with this. Still, run away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why a guy would be giving a woman he's been dating for 2-3 months:

1) access to his wallet
2) a key to his car
3) a key to his house

or why a woman would be okay with a guy doing this

I assume, of course, it didn't go down like this:
1) Waiter gets the order wrong, is rude/dismissive/etc.
2) (optional) OP goads the guy into being rude himself (*)
3) The guy is rude back
4) OP embarrasses the guy publicly.
5) The guy yells at OP
6) OP becomes St. Victim.

(*) There's plenty of women out there fucked up enough to believe their man's only being a man if he's aggressive/loud.

I wonder if OP is one of those hard-to-maintain Persian kitties or Latina princesses.

You don't wonder if the OP is full of shit? Who hands over their wallet and keys 2 months into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anyone who is part of the same professional and social circles, has a dc worklife, and knows they might fit together. Where have you all been?

[Anonymous]

You make so many excuses for him.Never mind what I said before, you 2 deserve each other and the Mercedes Benz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is part of the same professional and social circles, has a dc worklife, and knows they might fit together. Where have you all been?

It seems like a serious boundary misstep. I'd consider is red flag #1.