If you are rich, do you ever lie about it or downplay it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is that hilarious? I did live in Fairfax. If I say McLean, people may think "Oh, so you are one of those kinds of people"

It's hilarious that your image of McLean is the place where the super rich live (or at least, people rich enough to that they need to lie about their upbringing). It's not Central Park West, for God's sake. It's an affluent suburb, but that's it - not even the most affluent area in the metro area.

What Virginia suburb is wealthier? Do you know of a house in McLean that is worth less than a million?

Great Falls immediately comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are in our late twenties and make almost $300k combined. We live in a two bedroom apartment, have no furniture, drive used Hyundais, and don't take vacations - we work all the time. Working makes us happy. The few friends we have would probably shit bricks if we knew how much money we were sitting on.

"Hiding" our income is probably easier due to our ages. (We don't think of it as hiding - we are just not spenders.) At some point, I guess we will probably stretch out legs a bit financially.

You're associates in medium to large law firms. Your friends likely know precisely how much you make, and save. And your life sounds kinda pathetic. No one's suggesting you go stock up on Aston Martins or fill your bathtub with Cristal, but "working makes us happy?" That's just sad.

Nice try. We own a home-based business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are in our late twenties and make almost $300k combined. We live in a two bedroom apartment, have no furniture, drive used Hyundais, and don't take vacations - we work all the time. Working makes us happy. The few friends we have would probably shit bricks if we knew how much money we were sitting on.

"Hiding" our income is probably easier due to our ages. (We don't think of it as hiding - we are just not spenders.) At some point, I guess we will probably stretch out legs a bit financially.

I am similar. Make about $300k, live in an apartment, drive an old car, rarely go on vacation. I don't tell people I'm a doctor if I can avoid it. Instead, I just say I work in a hospital. Most people just assume I am a nurse since I'm a woman and look really young.

Haha, this sounds exactly like me except we take nice vacations, and my husband always makes fun of me for not wanting to expose my job. We're comfortable but far from rich but we're probably in a better position than most of our family members. Trust me, once people know what you do and assume how much you make, they want you to just give or spend your money on them. We've gotten requests to pay off a family member's 5 figure debt, pay for clothes that my mother want to buy for my kids, pay for SIL rent, etc. Meanwhile, I still have student loans, a mortgage, and two little ones in daycare. It's insane, money and relationship with most people don't mix. I'm just glad I have a few close friends who have been true friends for a long time.

[Anonymous]

According to this forum, some people think I'm rich, and some think I'm scraping by. I believe that's how the world at large and how I view it too. I try to answer questions honestly. I have nothing to hide. However, if people ask, they should not fill with vitriol once they find out the answer.

I do find it interesting that folks get taken aback by my answers (Qwhere do you live A posh neighborhood, q where do your kids go to school? A private) Should I be lying? Sometimes I just say "NW" and "our neighborhood school" which are both true. But it feels weird to bend the truth like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is that hilarious? I did live in Fairfax. If I say McLean, people may think "Oh, so you are one of those kinds of people"

It's hilarious that your image of McLean is the place where the super rich live (or at least, people rich enough to that they need to lie about their upbringing). It's not Central Park West, for God's sake. It's an affluent suburb, but that's it - not even the most affluent area in the metro area.

The super rich do live here. One of my neighbors is CEO of Northrop Grumman. His annual income is over $35M. That's just his annual HHI. He's not exactly alone.

I do recall a Washingtonian (I believe) article some time ago that pointed out the McLean had most of the highest cost property in the area. Not the highest cost per sq ft, just most of the expensive homes.

Plenty of normal ones, too.

So true. Some of those mansions are tucked away. Also they pay google to blur the map. Lots of money and power in Mclean. Upper middle class people live in those small homes.

[Anonymous]

Many people down play their wealth. People have such reactions to wealth. It can be boring, yes we are rich, etc ect. It can be insulting...no I am not paying for your medical bill, it can be distancing...I am the same as you, only richer. So people just keep their net worth to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all of you posting need a better class of aquaintances. The questions (and many of the responses) are rather distasteful. Trying too hard to appear to be 'one of them' likely has the opposite effect.

I can't imagine asking my friends and neighbors their net worth, nor having them ask me mine. Nobody has ever asked us if we own a vacation home, either, in spite of the fact that we travel to the same location in Europe every year for the same holiday.

NP here. I'm not rich but we did have a significant inheritance last year. Yes, I do downplay it, but sometimes it just comes up in conversation. It's not that people are probing exactly it's just that it's hard to be cagey and lie about everything. for example, when we were trying to sell one of several properties owned by my father in law (who, BTW, no-one knew was wealthy). Or when we have stayed in some of the properties we now own. Sure we can omit information - and we do - but for some friends you just don't want to feel like you are lying constantly. That said, I suspect that most of them have little idea of our networth.

[Anonymous]

I always down play. I never tell people we just meet or don't know very well what DH's occupation is. And I never invite people over to our house. We bought a $1 million house as first time home buyers at age 30 with no family help and I don't want any of our friends to see it. The few times we've had friends over we've gotten obnoxious comments about the house. I prefer to entertain in restaurants or meet friends at other places.

My co workers have already formed a negative opinion of me based on the fact that I drive a luxury car and I've heard several negative comments about it. I work in a low paying field.

We wear dress really cheaply (we prefer clothes from Old Navy), DH drives a 15 year old car, and I don't have any jewelry so it is easy to downplay. I'm just not interested in brands or labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always down play. I never tell people we just meet or don't know very well what DH's occupation is. And I never invite people over to our house. We bought a $1 million house as first time home buyers at age 30 with no family help and I don't want any of our friends to see it. The few times we've had friends over we've gotten obnoxious comments about the house. I prefer to entertain in restaurants or meet friends at other places.

My co workers have already formed a negative opinion of me based on the fact that I drive a luxury car and I've heard several negative comments about it. I work in a low paying field.

We wear dress really cheaply (we prefer clothes from Old Navy), DH drives a 15 year old car, and I don't have any jewelry so it is easy to downplay. I'm just not interested in brands or labels.

Wait, how did you get the luxury car when DH is driving the 15 year old car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always down play. I never tell people we just meet or don't know very well what DH's occupation is. And I never invite people over to our house. We bought a $1 million house as first time home buyers at age 30 with no family help and I don't want any of our friends to see it. The few times we've had friends over we've gotten obnoxious comments about the house. I prefer to entertain in restaurants or meet friends at other places.

My co workers have already formed a negative opinion of me based on the fact that I drive a luxury car and I've heard several negative comments about it. I work in a low paying field.

We wear dress really cheaply (we prefer clothes from Old Navy), DH drives a 15 year old car, and I don't have any jewelry so it is easy to downplay. I'm just not interested in brands or labels.

Wait, how did you get the luxury car when DH is driving the 15 year old car?

We keep our cars a really long time and DH doesn't like luxury cars, he loves his old car.

[Anonymous]

Best way to not get negative opinions for driving a luxury car? Don't drive one.

Otherwise, accept the fact that you are telling the world you either a) have a lot of money or b) want people to think you have a lot of money.

A lesson your DH appears to have learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always down play. I never tell people we just meet or don't know very well what DH's occupation is. And I never invite people over to our house. We bought a $1 million house as first time home buyers at age 30 with no family help and I don't want any of our friends to see it. The few times we've had friends over we've gotten obnoxious comments about the house. I prefer to entertain in restaurants or meet friends at other places.

My co workers have already formed a negative opinion of me based on the fact that I drive a luxury car and I've heard several negative comments about it. I work in a low paying field.

We wear dress really cheaply (we prefer clothes from Old Navy), DH drives a 15 year old car, and I don't have any jewelry so it is easy to downplay. I'm just not interested in brands or labels.

Who care about other people opinion. You should be beyond peer pressure stage by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to not get negative opinions for driving a luxury car? Don't drive one.

Otherwise, accept the fact that you are telling the world you either a) have a lot of money or b) want people to think you have a lot of money.

A lesson your DH appears to have learned.

Maybe she likes the safety features of a luxury car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is that hilarious? I did live in Fairfax. If I say McLean, people may think "Oh, so you are one of those kinds of people"

It's hilarious that your image of McLean is the place where the super rich live (or at least, people rich enough to that they need to lie about their upbringing). It's not Central Park West, for God's sake. It's an affluent suburb, but that's it - not even the most affluent area in the metro area.

What Virginia suburb is wealthier? Do you know of a house in McLean that is worth less than a million?

Great Falls immediately comes to mind.

Please. THere are A LOT of crummy cheap places there. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always down play. I never tell people we just meet or don't know very well what DH's occupation is. And I never invite people over to our house. We bought a $1 million house as first time home buyers at age 30 with no family help and I don't want any of our friends to see it. The few times we've had friends over we've gotten obnoxious comments about the house. I prefer to entertain in restaurants or meet friends at other places.

My co workers have already formed a negative opinion of me based on the fact that I drive a luxury car and I've heard several negative comments about it. I work in a low paying field.

We wear dress really cheaply (we prefer clothes from Old Navy), DH drives a 15 year old car, and I don't have any jewelry so it is easy to downplay. I'm just not interested in brands or labels.

First of all, $1m dollars homes in many places (NW DC, McLean) don't always look terribly impressive. Secondly, nobody would know HOW you bought it if you didn't discuss it. That's a stupid reason not to invite people over. I'm going to guess that you don't have too many friends if you don't invite people over so that they won't see your house. What kind of friend does that?