If you are rich, do you ever lie about it or downplay it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lie about it all the time. My DH makes an obscene amount of money. I try to avoid questions about it, but I definitely downplay things.

Please indulge us with obscenities… its a anon forum. How much is obscene?
FWIW I make a pedestrian amount of money.

3.5M last year.

I am fascinated. I make just over 10% of your husband's salary, and while we're not rich rich, we're certainly well off. (Please save the "you are so rich, you entitled twat" screams for another thread.) But I have wondered how I would react if my income suddenly increased to that level. (It's not likely, but it's a remote possibility.) I think I would work for 3-5 more years, living like we do now (which is pretty damn good) and then I'd be done. Has your husband had any thoughts like that?

I am in the midst of a separation. DH really, really likes the money and the power/prestige that comes with it. I am more grounded so to speak. I would have given it all up to have a husband who was home more and a better father. The more money he made, the more entitled he became. He was not a moral person (although he truly believes that he is). To be honest, my life-style didn't change all that much from when he made less money. We had a bigger, nicer home and stayed at nicer hotels when we travelled. I still couldn't bring myself to buy Gucci or LV purses. DH grew up with a chip on his shoulder about being poor. Making big money was very important to him. He was generous with it (family/charities), but the more he made -- the more his priorities became warped. He'll never make enough to feel happy.

Wow our DHs must have been separated at birth. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lie about it all the time. My DH makes an obscene amount of money. I try to avoid questions about it, but I definitely downplay things.

Please indulge us with obscenities… its a anon forum. How much is obscene?
FWIW I make a pedestrian amount of money.

3.5M last year.

Okay, that's real money. The people talking about downplaying making $300k crack me up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I downplay. I modeled as a child and teen, and earned a lot more than I needed for college. So I bought an apartment in Manhattan that was in foreclosure. I flipped it and got into flipping. In the course of doing that i got interested in interior decorating and now people hire me to do that.

Not friends, but a few acquaintances have asked how many properties I own, and I generally will just say a couple. Nobody needs to know my business except my boyfriend and my lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that does this. She isn't fooling anyone. In fact, I find it rather patronizing when she does this. First, I'm not stupid. I know what country clubs, private school, real estate, nannies, etc. cost. Second, it's insulting to watch her tiptoe or be evasive about her lifestyle. (I never ask, but she qualifies everything with comments that downplay her wealth). It's as though she thinks I can't handle not having what she has.

You're rich, I'm not. I don't care, why do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are saying who are your rude friends are thinking of very direct questions about your salary or wealth. There are many subtle ways of asking and conversations often hint at wealth. For example, if you start talking about vacations with someone, it will come up that you go skiing in your Aspen vacation home. Or that you are going to the Ritz in Bora Bora, etc. Or you could lie about those things or downplay them.

People are confused about why a rich person would lie. Here is the painful truth. If you think someone is rich, you expect them to pay for you almost all the time. For example, you have dinner with Bill Gates or Michael Jordan. Do you expect to pay 50/50? Many people expect them to pick up the entire bill. Every time! While a rich person can easily pay the bill, they don't like being taken advantage of.

I don't think that at all when people probe. I don't overstate because it's crass. That said sure, if someone worth billions of dollars invites me to dinner and tries to go Dutch id think they are kind of a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that does this. She isn't fooling anyone. In fact, I find it rather patronizing when she does this. First, I'm not stupid. I know what country clubs, private school, real estate, nannies, etc. cost. Second, it's insulting to watch her tiptoe or be evasive about her lifestyle. (I never ask, but she qualifies everything with comments that downplay her wealth). It's as though she thinks I can't handle not having what she has.

You're rich, I'm not. I don't care, why do you?

I agree that some rich people slip up or go too far with the lying or downplaying. For example, my cousin makes an occasional stupid statement like "Wow, I can't afford that $5 thing!". She must have forgotten that I already know she is a multimillionaire and that the statement is completely ridiculous!!!

[Anonymous]

I definitely downplay even though I am not rich -- I am comfortable by DC standards ($150K; I'm single). However, I do stand to inherit several million, a beach house, and two other residential properties. Because of that, I am trying to be careful now since most folks have deduced that I am the only heir.

I do live within my means, and as my income has grown,
I still try to live on the frugal end of the spectrum.

I don't think that will ever change much. Even if/when I inherit, I couldn't ever see myself spending more on myself than I do now. I would feel really uncomfortable with that, fake, and wasteful. I do, however, see myself giving more away and I am excited for that opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are saying who are your rude friends are thinking of very direct questions about your salary or wealth. There are many subtle ways of asking and conversations often hint at wealth. For example, if you start talking about vacations with someone, it will come up that you go skiing in your Aspen vacation home. Or that you are going to the Ritz in Bora Bora, etc. Or you could lie about those things or downplay them.

People are confused about why a rich person would lie. Here is the painful truth. If you think someone is rich, you expect them to pay for you almost all the time. For example, you have dinner with Bill Gates or Michael Jordan. Do you expect to pay 50/50? Many people expect them to pick up the entire bill. Every time! While a rich person can easily pay the bill, they don't like being taken advantage of.

Again, get better friends. Or maybe stop being such a tightwad that just assumes that your friends are just WAITING for you to be their sugar daddy.

DH and I are comfortable (not RICH, but with a good cushion and stand to become much moreso when inheritances come, if they do), but instead of thinking "ooooh, we are so rich, our friends must be so jealous and so ready to mooch off of us," we instead think of how lucky we are, how just one or two decisions we made completely set us up for this comfortable life, and that maybe picking up the check is easier for us than it is for some of our friends.

Sure, we'd get irked if we started to feel like any friends expected us to pay all of the time, but we also have the quality of friends that would never dream of doing that.

[Anonymous]

You people are obsessed with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are saying who are your rude friends are thinking of very direct questions about your salary or wealth. There are many subtle ways of asking and conversations often hint at wealth. For example, if you start talking about vacations with someone, it will come up that you go skiing in your Aspen vacation home. Or that you are going to the Ritz in Bora Bora, etc. Or you could lie about those things or downplay them.

People are confused about why a rich person would lie. Here is the painful truth. If you think someone is rich, you expect them to pay for you almost all the time. For example, you have dinner with Bill Gates or Michael Jordan. Do you expect to pay 50/50? Many people expect them to pick up the entire bill. Every time! While a rich person can easily pay the bill, they don't like being taken advantage of.

Yes, i would expect to pay 50/50 dinner with Gates unless he insisited we go to some place i cant afford (i would want him in advance). i am not rich (not poor either). It looks like you live in a constant fear of being taken advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Nobody has really asked.One guy asked if I was" a CEO of a company or something" since I never seem to work(I do too,but when most people sleep).
That was close!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a few millions, two houses, and no debt. We live and dress the ways we are. Some of our friends and neighbors think we are poor.

People always thought I was rich when I was poor. Now that I am rich, people think I am poor. LOL. Oh well. We do downplay our assets, but people know anyway to a certain extent. Vacations, lifestyle etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is that hilarious? I did live in Fairfax. If I say McLean, people may think "Oh, so you are one of those kinds of people"

It's hilarious that your image of McLean is the place where the super rich live (or at least, people rich enough to that they need to lie about their upbringing). It's not Central Park West, for God's sake. It's an affluent suburb, but that's it - not even the most affluent area in the metro area.

It is super rich and the people who live there are powerful. Yes, there are a few "middle class" neighborhoods (if you call $750-$1.5M older homes middle class)

[Anonymous]

You people are making me depressed. I have a dying close family member in another state, and we can't afford for me to take off work (I don't get paid time off) or the travel expenses so that I can go to the funeral. I'm a 32 y.o. working mom of 3. No money in savings due to lots of medical expenses this year.

I don't want to be rich. I don't need yacht clubs. I just want to be able to afford to go to a funeral when someone in my family dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that does this. She isn't fooling anyone. In fact, I find it rather patronizing when she does this. First, I'm not stupid. I know what country clubs, private school, real estate, nannies, etc. cost. Second, it's insulting to watch her tiptoe or be evasive about her lifestyle. (I never ask, but she qualifies everything with comments that downplay her wealth). It's as though she thinks I can't handle not having what she has.

You're rich, I'm not. I don't care, why do you?

I have a friend like that. He is always pretending to be "middle class American" It is annoying. Sometimes I have to tell him to cut the s**T. And BTW, you're paying for dinner!