Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both planned to go, but it was only when reading other halloween posts did it occur to me that it might be rude. No, i am not intentionally trying to be a jerk, i was honestly asking. Sure I figured when my youngest was 3 or 4, one parent would start to stay home, but right now we have a toddler old enough to understand that he wants to dress up trick or treat with his siblings, but not old enough to walk long distances and up tall front door steps without being picked up frequently. I honestly thought it was okay, our neighbors know we have toddlers, but am realizing maybe its not okay. really i dont understand the need for the hostility here.

OP you seem to act like your spouse isn't capable of handling the toddler?
Is he one of those dad's? The kind where you are afraid to leave him alone with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Just go trick or treating with your kids. Parents only trick or treat with their kids for a few years before they outgrow the activity or they want to go on their own with their friends. You were home to hand out candy for the years before you had kids and you will be home for the thirty or forty years after your kids are grown. Don't overthink this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does seem a little self-centered to me. There are two aspects to Halloween: sending your kids round to the neighbors, for candy, and giving candy to those same neighbors, kids when they come to your house. It seems to me that you fail to "uphold" part two if both parents do part two. Even if you've leave a bowl out. Because you are demonstrating by your choice that you'd rather see your own child get candy from others than extend the same experience to others' children.

Only exception would be single parents.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Holy cow, people! How is this a big deal? It's fine to leave a bowl.

[Anonymous]

I think the people who say it is rude are really odd. How long is a toddler going to be trick or treating for? My son lost interest after 20 minutes last year, and he was 3. We left a bowl of candy out for those 20 minutes, and answered the door beforehand and afterwards. It worked out fine, there was plenty of candy left in the bowl.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe all of the ridiculous "rude!" posts. It is VERY common in our neighborhood to leave out a bowl and go trick-or-treating as a family. Don't sweat it at all.

I'm sure if OP's kid is young they won't be out all that long or very late anyway. NOT A BIG DEAL!

[Anonymous]

Actually, I prefer the bowl. Last year, my son wasn't interested in showing off his costume, he was interested in seeing the inside of people's houses (at age 4). After getting the candy, he would ask to go inside, see the house, try to peek around the person in the doorway. Even though we discussed it several times, he kept trying. It was annoying. I liked the houses with bowls better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I feel like some one is posting over and over being a jerk.

Go, have fun, leave a bowl. Don't over think it.

+1 It kind of sounds like there is a teenager or mentally off person posting over and over.

I thought this, too, right after the first page. I can recognize one poster's style over and over here.

OP, I think it's fine. Not everybody has young kids and those people will be home.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I'm shocked that so many people think it's rude. Our kids are little and we both go trick-or-treating with a group of neighborhood friends. We always leave a big bowl out with a note asking kids to only take 2 pieces of candy. I'm sure when our kids are a little older, one of us will stay home, but for now, we all enjoy the holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am not understanding what is so great about being with your family the entire time, I have never been with my dh and dd when they go trick or treating. Just let it go, op, and let your dh have this special time with the kids, and, I'd you only get 3-3 trick-or-treaters, well, relax and enjoy your found "alone time!"

Agree.
That's been the name of the game in our house for many years.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely a troll on this thread.

Do what you want. Children will survive with one less piece of candy. I stayed home last year and dh took the kids out and I felt so lonely!

There is not troll, there are multiple people posting the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely a troll on this thread.

Do what you want. Children will survive with one less piece of candy. I stayed home last year and dh took the kids out and I felt so lonely!

There is not troll, there are multiple people posting the same thing.

Sounds like you are the troll. Because there definitely is one person who posts in the same spirit over and over. There are others who also think someone needs to stay home, but there is one who is very invested in this and is hostile.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm torn too.

We took DD together the last two years, but my mom was here and could man our front door while we were out.

I love watching DD trick or treat, but have also always enjoyed seeing her friends and the neighbor kids coming to our door.

I don't think it's rude, but is personal preference. You could leave candy out, or make sure you are handing out candy from say 7pm on after you get home from the few houses you took your little one to.

Don't overthink it.

[Anonymous]

So you need both of you to go so you can coo over your kids while other dos the same

[Anonymous]

Jesus Christ, people, calm down. It's not that big an issue. I know it's fun to tear apart someone's choices, but let's keep some perspective here.

OP, there is a simple solution here. You have a young toddler, right? So you go out on the early side, all of you, as a family, for say an hour, and leave a bowl. I can't see a toddler wanting to do more than that, but if yours does, then one of you goes back and mans the door. Otherwise, the whole family comes back and hands out candy. You're still participating fully in Halloween, but there is one hour, out of the whole night, on the early side, when you have a bowl out. Done and done.