NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi - I'm the one who posted the question about Lower School. Not a grinch at all. We admire the school and are hoping our daughter will attend in a couple of years. I know at our current school, there are grades with significant issues and grades that are very inclusive. So it was a real question. Sorry it came across grinch-like.

Good luck with your search. NCS can be an amazing place. It can also suck the soul out of your DD (and you). Academics are top notch. Sports are terrific. Facilities are excellent, and in the shadow of the Cathedral, breathtaking beautiful. The soul-sucking part has to deal with the social pressures. I think, actually I know from experience, that the middle school experience anywhere, especially for a girl, can be very challenging socially. I wonder though whether there are some NCS girls and moms who are not only aware of the "mean girls" notion, but seem to embrace it. There are certainly hives of girls (and moms) who seem to try very hard to be the queen bees and their consorts that it's almost cartoonish, but its no laughing matter if you happen to be outside of the hive and been in the wake of their buzzing if not outright stinging. My DD survived, but mainly because she found a nice small group of sweet and like minded girls. They may have been perceived outsiders, but this support group of sorts protected them from all this buzzing and all are thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi - I'm the one who posted the question about Lower School. Not a grinch at all. We admire the school and are hoping our daughter will attend in a couple of years. I know at our current school, there are grades with significant issues and grades that are very inclusive. So it was a real question. Sorry it came across grinch-like.

Good luck with your search. NCS can be an amazing place. It can also suck the soul out of your DD (and you). Academics are top notch. Sports are terrific. Facilities are excellent, and in the shadow of the Cathedral, breathtaking beautiful. The soul-sucking part has to deal with the social pressures. I think, actually I know from experience, that the middle school experience anywhere, especially for a girl, can be very challenging socially. I wonder though whether there are some NCS girls and moms who are not only aware of the "mean girls" notion, but seem to embrace it. There are certainly hives of girls (and moms) who seem to try very hard to be the queen bees and their consorts that it's almost cartoonish, but its no laughing matter if you happen to be outside of the hive and been in the wake of their buzzing if not outright stinging. My DD survived, but mainly because she found a nice small group of sweet and like minded girls. They may have been perceived outsiders, but this support group of sorts protected them from all this buzzing and all are thriving.

I agree. It's virtually impossible for a girl to survive at NCS without at least a friend or two. It can be an amazing place or a living hell. The girls who make academics and/or sports their number one priority seem to survive it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holton is definitely inclusive and does everything it can to stop mean girls. it also has more of the coach/teacher model like STA. Would not trade my DDs spot in Holton for one at NCS for anything.

-2

[Anonymous]

I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Are you talking about the current 7th grade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Are you talking about the current 7th grade?

No, this was within the last few years. I don't want to identify a specific class.

[Anonymous]

Have Beauvoir families heard about admissions for 4th grade for 2013-14? Can anyone comment on whether it is likely to be a typical year of two-thirds of the slots going to Beauvoir girls, or an atypical year with only half or fewer than half of the slots going to Beauvoir girls? Just trying to assess a non-Beauvoir applicant's chances. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have Beauvoir families heard about admissions for 4th grade for 2013-14? Can anyone comment on whether it is likely to be a typical year of two-thirds of the slots going to Beauvoir girls, or an atypical year with only half or fewer than half of the slots going to Beauvoir girls? Just trying to assess a non-Beauvoir applicant's chances. Thanks!

I know you're anxious but the deadline for applications, transcripts and testing results is January 15. The school probably will make no decisions before that time. The strength of the outside applicant pool will determine how many Beauvoir students and how many outside applicants are admitted. And then how many Beauvoir parents and children accept the admission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have Beauvoir families heard about admissions for 4th grade for 2013-14? Can anyone comment on whether it is likely to be a typical year of two-thirds of the slots going to Beauvoir girls, or an atypical year with only half or fewer than half of the slots going to Beauvoir girls? Just trying to assess a non-Beauvoir applicant's chances. Thanks!

I know you're anxious but the deadline for applications, transcripts and testing results is January 15. The school probably will make no decisions before that time. The strength of the outside applicant pool will determine how many Beauvoir students and how many outside applicants are admitted. And then how many Beauvoir parents and children accept the admission.

NCS doesn't give the early nod a la STA? We're an STA family. We found out around Thanksgiving - albeit informally - that we'd be getting a formal acceptance come March.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Exactly right. They are mistaking aggressive and manipulative for strength of character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Exactly right. They are mistaking aggressive and manipulative for strength of character.

Interesting idea. I see how aggressive and manipulative tendencies could be mistaken for assertiveness and resourcefulness, but this argument does raise the question: are girls and women who are strong wrongfully called aggressive or manipulative when a man exhibiting the same behaviors or traits would not be labeled negatively? This happens to adult women in the work force, and it may happen to girls in secondary school as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Exactly right. They are mistaking aggressive and manipulative for strength of character.

Interesting idea. I see how aggressive and manipulative tendencies could be mistaken for assertiveness and resourcefulness, but this argument does raise the question: are girls and women who are strong wrongfully called aggressive or manipulative when a man exhibiting the same behaviors or traits would not be labeled negatively? This happens to adult women in the work force, and it may happen to girls in secondary school as well.

Interesting point. But you have to view it in the context of alleged mean girls in an all girls environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a lot to admire about NCS and single sex education. That said, during the middle school admissions process, NCS took 3 kids from our K-6 school: the two meanest mean girls and DD. DD decided not to go for that reason, fortunately she had other great options. I wonder if there's something about their admissions process where they think they are selecting for "strong, independent girls" and instead they inadvertently end up with the queen bees?

Exactly right. They are mistaking aggressive and manipulative for strength of character.

Interesting idea. I see how aggressive and manipulative tendencies could be mistaken for assertiveness and resourcefulness, but this argument does raise the question: are girls and women who are strong wrongfully called aggressive or manipulative when a man exhibiting the same behaviors or traits would not be labeled negatively? This happens to adult women in the work force, and it may happen to girls in secondary school as well.

Interesting point. But you have to view it in the context of alleged mean girls in an all girls environment.

I was addressing PP's point that NCS may inadvertently be selecting mean girls for admission when they intend to select "strong, independent girls." That point raises the question whether girls who are indeed strong in good ways are unfairly being labeled mean girls, just as women who exhibit traits valued in men are often called aggressive or bitchy.

[Anonymous]

My dd is in NCS. I don't recognize her class in all these comments about mean girls and soul-sucking social pressures. She has made friends with many other girls, none of whom fits the mean girl mold. I don't doubt there are some - but then I think there are in middle school everywhere. But it is hardly as though NCS has only mean girls and one nice one. My dd left a co-ed school with a really mean group of girls, so NCS has been refreshing so far.

[Anonymous]

My DD is new in middle school at NCS after leaving a public school where there were more mean girls, in her opinion. She has made a lot of great friends in her class and is not fazed by the few mean girls.