S/O are sleepovers normal in your culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA, and we did not have sleepovers for the same reasons as OP. (cousins were OK)

This

[Anonymous]

I had no idea that people were so against sleepovers/slumber parties.

I slept over at my best friend's house all the time when I was younger - and vice versa. Our moms worked together and we had gone to the same babysitter and lived on the same road. We were close. Then, later on, I started going to other friend's houses and having people over to my house.

We just hosted one last week for our daughter's birthday, and when I posted about it, one of my friends from my ES days said "Oh, I remember sleepovers at your house! They were so much fun!"

I was friends with a girl who lived in a house without a working toilet. My mom let me stay there once or twice, but we started inviting her to our house all the time after that. She was a really nice girl and her living conditions were not her fault.

I had a slumber party for my 15th birthday - I swear we had 15 girls in my house sleeping all over our first level. It was a blast.

I understand people's concerns to some extent. I'm glad we never came across that when I was younger, though. Really, my parents were pillar of the community types-everyone knew and liked them. I'd like to think we're similar. We do try to get to know the parents of my children's friends so that they feel comfortable with our family.

But, to answer the question - I'm American. Yes, this was completely the norm where I grew up and amongst my peer group.

[Anonymous]

I'm American (white) and loved sleepovers growing up. Generally it was with friends whose parents were good friends with my parents -- especially with the neighborhood crew. There were a lot of little girls on our street. And some friends had little brothers, but we just found them annoying when they tried to hang out with us lol. It wasn't a big deal when we were kids.

Thank goodness my parents were okay with it. I was an only child, so I really loved getting to host/attend slumber parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:American here: yes!! I used to LOVE them growing up. That thread was the first time I've ever even thought about brothers. I had a brother and had people over all the time and brothers never stopped me from going to their house. Not even a THOUGHT.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From France, my mother used to say that "sleepovers were for Americans and poor people"

Haha.

[Anonymous]

My white dad didn't care (had/went to sleepovers all the time when I lived with him) but my Puerto Rican mom was like "Hell no!" Living with her I went to the 12th birthday sleepover of a girl I'd known for ten years, then once more with another girl. That was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank goodness my parents were okay with it. I was an only child, so I really loved getting to host/attend slumber parties.

yup. This was so nice as an only child.

[Anonymous]

Yes. American who grew up here. Lots of sleepovers with friends plus many weekends at a family summer house with tons of cousins piled all over.

[Anonymous]

Irish Catholic from Pittsburgh: lots of sleepovers.

It's just more interesting to be at someone else's house once in a while and to get away from an annoying sibling for a night.

We even do it on school nights, which isn't nearly as hard as some people seem to think.

[Anonymous]

My best birthday ever was a sleep over when I was 12. I had a twin brother, and we each could invite 10 kids. My parents made the boys sleep on the second floor, girls on the first. We had a 6,500 square foot house.

Still amazed that all the parents let their kids come over for it. It was fine, and nothing inappropriate happened, but I don't think I would do this. Born in 1970.

(Oh, and the breakfast was the best part. My mom fed 22 kids all at one time.)

[Anonymous]

Sleepovers are definitely a part of American culture. But there are a lot of unspoken rules. Girls do it much more than boys. Homes where everything is shiny clean and there are only girl children are the most popular. I have been surprised the few times I have let girls sleep over in homes with older brothers that the older brothers run the household and those are NOT FUN sleepovers, so never repeated. The parents come in and interview us. Lol, I don't care. But I do hate all the cleaning and lack of privacy with sleepovers. The girls get a lot out of it, so I suck it up. Not my favorite thing however. We always cook something delicious.

[Anonymous]

Went to sleepovers almost every weekend from about 4-8 grades. I am AA and grew up middle class. My husband is AA and grew up working class. His sisters never had sleepovers. It took a lot of convincing for him to allow our kids to go to sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about the molestation fears. 99% of sleepovers I went to involved 5+ girls. We weren't ever alone with a male relative. I also was crazy ignorant about child molestation until I was at least 20. I had no clue stuff like that went on. Even still, we wouldn't have allowed one of our friends to go off with someone else's dad!

+1

I wonder if it is foreign parents that simply do not want to host or take part in sleepovers; who are exaggerating any concerns, or who have been assaulted by one of their own creepy relatives (so many generations residing together). Or perhaps being social is not a priority to them, as certain foreign cultures do not make having social skills a priority. [I have seen some cultures that are so insecure and competitive, rather than apply themselves to being more social and learning - they are willing to say anything about a clearly very successful family. Do you think the story telling family is boosting their image, reputation and credibility THAT way? Quite the opposite! "Do you know what happens at THEIR sleepovers??? They smoke crack!!" BAHAHAHA.]

Oh, give me a break. I am from the US but living in another cultures where sleepovers are unusual. Think of it this way: if you had never heard of such a thing (your kid going to someone else's house to spend the night) wouldn't it seem a little weird/suspicious to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm American and we had sleep overs every weekend until we left for college. My 2 best friends went to different schools (we were all in different private schools) so once we could drive, we were all together at least 3 nights a week. My parents knew their parents very well though and all the parents knew we were together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American here: yes!! I used to LOVE them growing up. That thread was the first time I've ever even thought about brothers. I had a brother and had people over all the time and brothers never stopped me from going to their house. Not even a THOUGHT.

+1

+2

I would say that if you are so "careful" (paranoid?) about your child having sleepovers, you were likely once molested yourself. You may have blocked it from your conscious memory. It's not your fault, but don't try to deflect upon other people. I would implore you to get professional help, which is likely also against your beliefs and customs, frankly. There is nothing "bad" about having brothers. You need to settle down and get a grip.