S/O are sleepovers normal in your culture?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why are relatives okay, too? Aren't many children molested by relatives since the relatives have easy access are are assumed to be trustworthy?


I am 22:17 and my understanding based on my family is that you basically grew up running around with your cousins and seconds cousins and everyone you were related to... so in theory at least, you are letting your dc have a sleepover in the home of someone you yourself grew up with. And, fun fact, in many cultures, people marry their first and second and third cousins, so often you grew up with and know both parents. My parents wouldn't leave me with a sleepover unless they basically thought of the parents as siblings, that's how close they'd need to be to the people. However, I do have an uncle who was actually sexually abused... by a female maid! You have to keep an eye on any person who has access to your children, period.
Anonymous
American here: yes!! I used to LOVE them growing up. That thread was the first time I've ever even thought about brothers. I had a brother and had people over all the time and brothers never stopped me from going to their house. Not even a THOUGHT.
Anonymous
American here. I think I did 1000 sleepovers when I was a kid.
Anonymous
Sleepovers are not a part of our culture. I went to a few when I was a kid, but never really loved them. They were okay. Fast forward to today, my husband and I both agree that our kids have no business sleeping anywhere but their own bed. Our kids are fine with it and love doing family movies, games, making cookies on non-school nights. We'll see how things go as they get older and reassess.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why are relatives okay, too? Aren't many children molested by relatives since the relatives have easy access are are assumed to be trustworthy?


This is my question as well. I know of people who were molested by older cousins. If that's the concern I think you just have to say no sleEpovers with ANYONE. Just because you 'know' the cousins well, doesn't mean it's any different than a good friend, IMO.

I'm Asian and was allowed sleepovers as a kid. Loved them!

Not sure what I'll do with my kids after reading that other thread. Right now, my kids are still young.
Anonymous
Italian - and hell no! My mom used to say "you have a house and a bed, yuo dont sleep at other people's homes".
Was allowed to stay with cousins every once in a while, and even then it was like pulling teeth.
Anonymous
Yes, American (white).

My 4.5 year old is at a sleepover at his cousins right now.
Anonymous
Yes, American. Grew up in 7 cities, had many sleepovers in all of them. Great fun! Like the mini-vacations that I love so much now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:American here: yes!! I used to LOVE them growing up. That thread was the first time I've ever even thought about brothers. I had a brother and had people over all the time and brothers never stopped me from going to their house. Not even a THOUGHT.


+100000
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Faithful Catholics, no. Not in our circles.


Um, what? This may not have to do with the religion. I was raised by a very devout Catholic family and we did sleepovers all the time. All my Catholic friends were allowed to as well.) suburban NYC in the 80s.
Anonymous
American. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic schools from K-12. Yes, sleepovers were pretty much the norm. I don't recall anyone from my schools not being allowed to participate. And they were so much fun!

I agree with PP that, statistically speaking, a child is more likely to be molested by a relative.
Anonymous
From France, my mother used to say that "sleepovers were for Americans and poor people"

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Faithful Catholics, no. Not in our circles.


Um, what? This may not have to do with the religion. I was raised by a very devout Catholic family and we did sleepovers all the time. All my Catholic friends were allowed to as well.) suburban NYC in the 80s.


Same here. My family (of 8 kids) was about as Catholic as you could get, and I went to sleepovers all the time as a kid. We also used to host a lot, since we had a lot of bunk beds. I'm not aware of anything in the Catholic religion that would prohibit a sleepover!
Anonymous
Eastern Europe - almost never. It just wasn't a thing.
Anonymous
American, from NJ. Yes, sleepovers were big when I was a kid. They are a big deal for my daughter too. If it were up to her she'd have a sleepover with friends every night of the week.

DH and I don't love hosting them and think they should be done in moderation. I've never thought much about whether there are older brothers around, except in one case where I knew there were some issues in the family already (unstable home life). In that case we just said "no" and DD had her friend sleep at our house instead.
post reply Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids
Message Quick Reply
Go to: