I'm in the Top 10% but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to post and run so I didn't read the whole thread--but if you cross post what specialists you are seeing on the SN board, we could recommend some people who take insurance (they exist and IME there is no quality difference between the insurance-takers and the cash-only-gougers).

Other than that-huge sympathy. Signed, 140k income, 3 dc (one with $$$ SN), no savings or retirement fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand where you're coming from. We also bring in 160K and I'm disgusted by how little we have to put away every month after our expenses (this doesn't even count 401K, 529, etc). Every month something comes up: last month we had to replace the HVAC, this month I needed a new crown on my tooth. We only have 1 car and I recently started walking to work to save $60 from metro. The other day, DH had a fit because I told him we needed to stop purchasing his Coke Zero and just drink water. Some top 10% lifestyle huh? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what we have and at least we're not in the red, but I don't like living like this. DC is nice, but at this rate, we will not be able to provide our DS with an equivalent lifestyle we had growing up - which trust me wasn't extravagant. We have begun researching other options and will hopefully move by the end of next year.

I'm with him! You'd be prying my coke zero out of my cold, dead hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand where you're coming from. We also bring in 160K and I'm disgusted by how little we have to put away every month after our expenses (this doesn't even count 401K, 529, etc). Every month something comes up: last month we had to replace the HVAC, this month I needed a new crown on my tooth. We only have 1 car and I recently started walking to work to save $60 from metro. The other day, DH had a fit because I told him we needed to stop purchasing his Coke Zero and just drink water. Some top 10% lifestyle huh? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what we have and at least we're not in the red, but I don't like living like this. DC is nice, but at this rate, we will not be able to provide our DS with an equivalent lifestyle we had growing up - which trust me wasn't extravagant. We have begun researching other options and will hopefully move by the end of next year.

I'm with him! You'd be prying my coke zero out of my cold, dead hands.

Aww, let the man have his Coke Zero! Caffeine, no calories but still has a decent Coke taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is, don't move to San Francisco. My sister and her husband live there on your HHI and almost every month I have to float her some cash. And they don't even have kids OR a car.

My trust-fund baby cousin asked his mommy for $700,000 to put a down payment on a house in SF.

Well, I have perfectly normal non-trust fund friends who own in SF who didn't need any 700k. Perhaps your trust fund cousin has trust fund expectations?

Heck, half the readers of this website would find my NOVA home completely inadequate.

[Anonymous]

Everyone who's saying the salary won't follow you... we've been surprised. Salaries in most fields are similar, or a little higher in DC but not even close to the difference in the cost of housing. We're in the process of moving, priced the most important things, but now that we have the bigger picture, we feel like chumps for doing it. Trying to figure out how to take it back without screwing up DH's rep.

If you don't love DC and can do what you do somewhere else, go. CHUMPS.

[Anonymous]

I think something we haven't whined about enough in this thread is the staggering cost of childcare in this area, combined with the fact that a lot of people come here and don't have family in the area, which creates a situation where a huge chunk of your income is automatically gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would counsel you to NOT have another child in the situation you are in. Really, listen to me now: another kid does NOT mean you will just double your expenses. The increased cost will be exponential. Few people will tell you this--they just want you to join in their misery. Don't do it. The cost of living in the DC area is insanely high in general, but the biggest factor here? Private school tuitions. NO OTHER AREA IN THE COUNTRY with the exception of the upper west and east sides of Manhattan has a more$$$ or insanely overvalued cadre of private schools. My theory is that racial politics drives this. NY and DC have high # minority population. People are crazily terrified of their kids going to school with too many AA's, asians or latinos (bizarre and unfounded imo)--so the private schools can just charge monopoly money for tuition and get it.

I agree. And "giving DC a sibling" is emphatically NOT a reason to have another child. Ever.

Now, that's not true. Our kids have no cousins and won't have any. He has 4 older grandparents, and that's it. Extended family is in another country that I doubt he will visit. If we didn't have more than one child, our oldest would be completely alone in this world. I know it's possible that my kids won't get along when they're older. But, I really do think they will feel better having someone in the world who shares their experience and family history.