How do you politely ask friends to crate their dogs when your kids are there?!?!?

[Anonymous]

You have to not visit them anymore. If they press you, tell them, "we'd love to come! We really miss visiting. But while my kids are so little, I worry about them doing something to upset Trixie. You know how kids can be. If by any chance you'd be willing to crate Trixie while we'd visit, we would be there in a heartbeat! But I totally understand that you may not want to do that; she's such a sweetheart."

So you put the blame on your kids instead of the dog.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad to see it's not just crazy cat people on this forum. The crazy dog people are giving them a run for their money.
I have pets, always have. I also think I've always been a gracious hostess. If there is something I can do to make someone more comfortable in my home after I've invited them in, I would do it. Keeping your dog in another room while someone is there is not too much to ask. No one saying to chain them to a tree in the backyard in 100 degree heat. It's just another room. What's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

You don't. Plain and simple. Their house, their rules. If you dont like it then don't go over there with your kids. Invite them to your house instead. That said, I have two big, scary dogs and I let them do as they please but often I put them in the yard for guests who don't know how to behave around dogs.

[Anonymous]

You "their house, their rules" people are absolutely nuts. And terrible hosts. Would you serve a meat at dinner if you were hosting a vegetarian couple? It's about basic courtesy and being gracious. It is not a big deal to put the dog in another room. If a guest was not comfortable around my dog, I would ABSOLUTELY want them to say something - I have friends over so that they'll have a good time, not so they'll have to live in fear of offending me if they need something for their comfort.

Geez, do you all snap if your guest asks for a glass of water, also? Try to be slightly more gracious to other humans, particularly when what's being asked of you simply isn't any incovenience. Most dogs are happy to have a treat outside for a bit.

[Anonymous]

How about teach your kids how to behave around dogs. Don't poke at them. Don't get in their face. Stay away from the food bowl.

There aren't many dogs out there that will go from loving animals to raging attackers without provocation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to not visit them anymore. If they press you, tell them, "we'd love to come! We really miss visiting. But while my kids are so little, I worry about them doing something to upset Trixie. You know how kids can be. If by any chance you'd be willing to crate Trixie while we'd visit, we would be there in a heartbeat! But I totally understand that you may not want to do that; she's such a sweetheart."

So you put the blame on your kids instead of the dog.

That's what I'd do, too. Especially if your kid is under 3 - too little to know better.

I have had dogs and would never think twice about separating a dog from a kid. Our friends who are childless and have dogs are less tolerant of their dogs' behavior than we are, and will often crate because they are tired of preventing the dogs from rolling all over the kids (1 and 3), taking their food, licking their faces, etc. They are, of course, hyper dogs, and I am able to read a dog's behavior fairly well because I've grown up with them. Someone who has not grown up with dogs may not be comfortable that they will detect the signs of aggressive or threatened behavior before it's too late.

That said, we do always end up with supervised play outdoors (throwing balls, frisbees, chasing each other around, etc.).

I don't see why you can't have a frank conversation with the person. 'Last time we were over I was very nervous and stressed the whole time. I've never had dogs and I can't read their behavior well, and on top of that my kids are still learning how to behave around dogs. I'm not against some ball/chase time while we're both paying close attention, but then we can separate our kids for a bit? If it's easier to come over to our place that's fine too, but I don't want you to worry about leaving your dog alone all day either.'

If you avoid them with no reason, it stresses the dog owner because that means that the dog is being left alone (for some dogs, that is worse than being confined to a part of the house when people are home because they get anxious) and they have a time limit on their socialization. So you may unintentionally stress the relationship more by being unwilling to visit them. I'm all for frank conversations. If they (likely) start with 'Oh the dog is fine, she's so well natured, etc.' you can respond by saying 'I understand, but please also understand that she's your dog and you're more comfortable with her. I feel very bad asking this. Maybe I'm just neurotic and irrational, but it would mean a lot to me if you separated her for a bit so I can relax while we're visiting. If that will stress everyone out more, then no hard feelings, but maybe we can hang out at our place next time.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm. I do trust my dogs with my kids. I feel no need to constantly supervise them. The dog will simply move away from a persistently annoying child, or lick them til the kid quits.

Then you don't know much about dog behavior. As I stated earlier, I have a professionally trained 178 pound German Shepherd Dog. He has never shown even the slightest hint of aggression towards anyone or any animal. He is a very stable, obedient, well-mannered dog. Unless he perceives a threat to one of us, he is a gentle giant.

That said, he is a dog. And dogs are not people. They don't think or react like people. And regardless of how wonderful your dog is, you should never trust a dog alone with young children.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I do trust my dog. I've had her sleep on the porch to watch the kids sleeping there. No one would come on the porch.

She sleeps with the baby. So does my cat. No big deal.

The only time she offered a threat was to my parents who wanted to take the baby away from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm. I do trust my dogs with my kids. I feel no need to constantly supervise them. The dog will simply move away from a persistently annoying child, or lick them til the kid quits.

Then you don't know much about dog behavior. As I stated earlier, I have a professionally trained 178 pound German Shepherd Dog. He has never shown even the slightest hint of aggression towards anyone or any animal. He is a very stable, obedient, well-mannered dog. Unless he perceives a threat to one of us, he is a gentle giant.

That said, he is a dog. And dogs are not people. They don't think or react like people. And regardless of how wonderful your dog is, you should never trust a dog alone with young children.

178 lbs? Your shepherd sounds like a fatty.

[Anonymous]

178 lbs? Your shepherd sounds like a fatty.

I know! And he could use to drop a few pounds. But he isn't really overweight.... just an unusually huge Shepherd. Our vet said she had never seen a larger German Shepherd. And I've been around Shepherds all my life and never seen one so big. His head is enormous! We have no idea why. His mother was about 85 pounds. His father was 90. Pretty average for the breed. He's not just heavy, he's big all over.

Sadly, it means he may not live as long. But his temperament is about the best I've ever seen in a Shepherd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are close friends with a couple who are not yet married, and have no kids. They got a pit bull mix earlier this year, and although he seems like a very sweet dog, I do NOT trust him around my kids. Not only are the breed known for attacking, they got the dog when he was 18 months old, so who knows why the prior owners got rid of him in the first place, and he's already attacked another dog. I'm at a loss for what to do.. when we visited last weekend, they could tell my distress as I was trying like heck to keep the dog away from my kids. But they didn't offer to crate him or lock him in another room, they just let him roam around the house and yard. I really don't know how to handle this without offending them, given they do not have kids and will likely take this personally and say how sweet their dog is, he'll never harm them, etc. Has anyone had success in handling this situation in the past? At this point, I'm just planning on never going to their house again with my kids... which isn't really the best resolution. arghhhh thanks in advance !

I actually think that this IS the best solution.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Be honest with them and expect honestly back. Likely, it will be no big deal.

We have a very lovable lab, but if someone was afraid of her for any reason, I'd put her somewhere else while they were over. But I wouldn't know unless they told me.

[Anonymous]

Letting dogs and cats sleep with an infant is a terrible, terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. 4 kids, 2 grandkids. And they all behave.

Really? When your kids were 12 months old, they were model-flipping-citizens who knew better than to grab a dog's haunches? You're an idiot. And seriously, if you're a grandmother, shouldn't you be on another website?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. 4 kids, 2 grandkids. And they all behave.

Really? When your kids were 12 months old, they were model-flipping-citizens who knew better than to grab a dog's haunches? You're an idiot. And seriously, if you're a grandmother, shouldn't you be on another website?

Wow, you really get your point across in an intelligent manner. You sure told that PP!