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How do you politely ask friends to crate their dogs when your kids are there?!?!?
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Anonymous
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Dude, watch your kids and don't let them bother the dog. Problem solved.
I am uncomfortable with my kids around other people's dogs too. So when I go to their houses, I am there every time they are near the dog, supervising each interaction. I lock up my dog when other people come over, whether they want me to or not. I don't want some fool's kids tormenting him. |
Anonymous
| I agree with a PP. This dog has already attacked another dog. It doesn't matter if "you like your dog more than their kids." You've invited them over and your dog is a risk. |
Anonymous
Fine. You can come over to our house. If I feel like spending an adult only evening on you, I'll do it. But with your attitude, probably not. |
Anonymous
| Please note that dog on dog aggression usually isn't related to dog on people aggression. |
Anonymous
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I am a married dog owner with no kids. Some could say our dog is our kid until we have one of our own. But we aren't stupid. We realize that, just as no one loves your kid like you do, no one loves your dog like you do either. Thus, we put our dog in another room, or outside, or baby gate her in the kitchen or stairwell when a good number of people come over--service people, older family members, people who are allergic (if I really like them I will vaccuum for them too!), people who don't like dogs. The dog can deal with not being the center of attention for a few hours.
That said, we also tend to do things like not serve food we know people are allergic to, or make sure we have the kind of beverage someone will like (i.e. red wine, white wine, beer, etc. Because wa are considerate. People who wont put their dog away probably are assholes in gneeral. Although I will admit that i someone insulted my dog while asking for me to lock her up, depending on how insulting they were, I might letthe dog jump on the a few times just for spite. |
Anonymous
Says the childless woman who is bitter because she can't have kids. |
Anonymous
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why don't you just have them over to your place or meet elsewhere?
it is the dog's home,not your children's. If they don't offer to put the dog in another room then they probably don't want to. I have a very friendly dog, mixed-breed(I also have two children),my dog is not used to being in a crate, or even locked in another room for that matter. if someone asked me to lock my dog up while they were visiting, frankly i just wouldn't ask them over anymore...it would be very stressful on my dog, she would bark the whole time and the visit would be no fun for anyone. |
Anonymous
| Nope. 4 kids, 2 grandkids. And they all behave. |
Anonymous
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I have two thoughts. For the record I have two dogs and have grown up with dogs (which I think makes a difference); my boys are now nine and our DD is 1 year four months. One dog is tolerant of her and has been tolerant of the extended in-law tribe with their multitudes of kids and noise and chaos while the other wants nothing to do with any sort of thing. He usually retreats pretty quickly to our bedroom when we have guests so problem solved in a way. I do however watch the more tolerant dog just to be sure he's not hitting his max load with the attention from our guests. 95% of the time he's OK but I have on occaision encouraged him to also retreat to our bedroom (not locked away though) for some peace and quiet.
On the other hand my twin sister has four dogs, including a mastiff, a german shepherd and a lab mix -- none are well socialized or used to company. I have to admit when I've taken DD over and they've jumped on me and scared her (although she doesn't cry, I just don't like being jumped on) I've gotten frustrated but overall we make it work. I find a way to protect the baby and they work to control their pets; generally after a few minutes everyone calms down and we are able to basically socialize. But I do limit my time there with the baby because the dogs can be a bit rambunctious. Don't know if it's due to having dogs ourselves, her personality or what but very rarely has she been upset by them. Unlike other kids I know that aren't around pets or dogs specifically who are afraid, I think it's good for her to have the exposure and to be able to teach her to be gentle. For the record, I would be annoyed if someone asked me to put the dogs up when they came to visit but I understand it's a training and comfort issue. Fortunately for us the dogs are their own monitors and willingly remove themselves from any situation that proves to be too much. |
Anonymous
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Honestly - pit bulls can be very sweet dogs and very good with kids. Just like any other dog they need to be trained well. The breed (regardless of stigma) is irrelevant.
It's possible your kids and the dog will be feeding off your anxiety. It's also equally important to train a dog and train children. Don't let your kids bother the dog, let the dog come to them. Teach kids to pet under the neck rather then reaching and going towards the dog's face. If the dog shows any undesirable behavior towards the kids it should be corrected immediately. Cesar Milan aka the dog whisperer has a lot of good tips for this. |
Anonymous
| I don't know if it's your place to let them know you think their dog should be crated when you guys are over there. If you feel threatened, don't take the kiddos. Your friends might start to get the hint. |
Anonymous
Did you really go there? |
Anonymous
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I have a spaniel (hardly an attack breed) but he jumps, despite the best training. We warn friends before they come over that we have a friendly but overly excited dog. He'd sooner let a child hand pull every one of his fur hairs than bite a wee one, but he'd probably lick or scare them with his enthusiasm so as a result, we are highly interventive. If the child is afraid, Spaniel goes outside for an hour or into our room with his bed and a chew toy and gets lots of love when the playdate is over to make up for it. I can't see anyone being offended by someone saying "your dog is a bit much for us - he doesnt have a track record with our kid, and if we're overly cautious, so be it. Can you help us find a solution?
BUT. But but but but but. Your attitude is pretty obvious from your misperceptions about the breed, and your specifics on where the dog should go (why is it up to you if he is crated or just put in a different room or kept on a closely held leash?). You get to ask, politely, for consideration. A thoughtful host will provide it with a grin. But if you pull out your "track record" and "known for attacking" talking points, you're likely to lose a friendship - even if you never go to their house again. Just sayin'. |
Anonymous
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-just-about-any-dog-can-hurt-a-small-child/2011/07/05/gIQAFh8HUI_story.html
You're really weakening your case by focusing on the breed. If you said, "My kid is afraid of dogs" or "I'm worried that my kid isn't good with dogs yet," I'd be much more inclined to accommodate that preference. |
Anonymous
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OP--I completely understand. This is why I never take my DD to my sister-in-law's house anymore. She didn't get her DS until he was 18 months old, and seeing as I just don't know his story before she got him, I dont feel comfortable having my DD in that environment. I mean, her DS is from Germany (random place to get a kid from, I know), and they are KNOWN for violence. WW2, anyone?
SIL's dog on the other hand, is an angel. Lassie-esque, some might say... |