How do you politely ask friends to crate their dogs when your kids are there?!?!?

[Anonymous]

I have a dog and I rarely keep the dog around when I have guests, except for family. If I do keep the dog around, I always ask my friends/warn them in advance - especially if they have kids. I did this even before I had kids myself and I have a very family friendly breed. Try saying nicely, "You know, I hate to admit it, but I'm kinda freaked out about your dog and my kids." Let them take it where they want to take it. If they decide it's not worth the hassle of containing their dog, then maybe you'll have to decide to see them at your house or a public place.

I have a friend who insists on bringing her dog to my house when I have her over for dinner. Now, her dog is NOT well behaved and is quite annoying. I put up with it before I had kids because I have my own dog and I figured I could deal. Now that I have kids, I've had put a stop to it. It was awkward but okay in the end.

[Anonymous]

We have a very large German Shepherd Dog. He is very well trained and well mannered. He has a great temperament. He has never shown any aggression towards anyone. But he has a loud bark and is very intimidating. I always ask people if they are comfortable around German Shepherds. It wouldn't bother me at all if someone asked me to put him in another room while they visited. To be honest, if he wasn't my dog, I would be scared of him.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure there is a nice way of saying, please crate your dog when I'm around. Dog owners (especially those pre-kids) tend to be offended by such things.

So I think your only real option is to not go over there. Just politely decline future invites and if asked why, just tell her point blank that you don't feel comfortable with her dog around your young kids.

I don't think this is a breed issue. My MIL has a big airdale (65 lbs) who - because of my MIL's lack of backbone - runs wild. The dog was never properly trained and jumps on everything and everybody, including my kids. She is now smart enough to bring her dog over to her friend's house when we are there (we have a 1 yo, 3 yo and 5 yo). This is after her dog jumped up and almost bite my newborn (in his car seat that my husband was carrying). It was ugly (husband slapped dog, MIL went ballistic at husband b/c he slapped dog, husband went ballistic at MIL b/c her dog ATTACKED HER GRANDSON).

Suffice to say, some people with dogs just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm bringing my dog to a friends house. How do I ask them to lock their kids in the room while I'm over there? Thanks!

Like.

Their house, their rules. If you accept an invitation to their house, you accept the way they live in their house.

[Anonymous]

I am obviously in the minority here. I don't have a dog. I don't care about them one way or the other, really, but let's think about this. It's his house. I don't mean this to be ride or snarky (I swear!) but I'd be pretty irritated if someone came into my house and made my animal be banished to a room or a crate because she didn't like him. I'm TERRIFIED of cats. When I was little one jumped at me and nearly got my eye. (I still have a scar across my face today.) I don't tell people to lock up their cats. I don't go to their houses. I'm honest about it. Some have offered (on occasion) to put their cats or rambunctious kittens in other rooms when I come over, but we will usually make plans not to be at their house so their pet doesn't need to be jailed on my account. I just think that's fair.

[Anonymous]

Most people always ask if you are ok being around a dog and they "should" do this but before you accept an invitation I'd just say, hey, I'm not comfortable around dogs and see what they say. I am not comfortable and 99% of people will just put them in another room, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they're your good friends, I don't see why they would mind if you asked them to crate their dog while your kids are there. Before we had our DS, we always put our dog (very friendly lab/border collie mix) in our master bedroom when kids were over since I wasn't sure how he would react. Post-DS, we still put him in the bedroom even though I'm 99.9% sure he's OK with kids, you still never know.

I agree with this. It's ridiculous to debate about the pit bull breed. I have a pit bull mix. She's adorable. But that's not the issue. The point is that you never know how dogs will react around kids, especially if the kids haven't been trained to deal with dogs correctly. Plus there are people who are just flat out afraid of dogs and don't like to be around them. So we always lock the dogs up when people come to visit. If they're good friends, they should understand. And it's only polite - so if they don't understand, it's on them, not you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Asking them to crate is a bit specific. At the next invitation, why not just say that you'd love to come but are concerned about the kids and the dog being together, is there a way we could keep them separate? Then they can decide if they want to put the dog outside, in another room, or say no.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the problem would be. I have 2 cats (in addition to a terrier) and many of my friends are either allergic to cats and one has a child who is scared of them. I have no problem putting the cats in the basement (with their food & litter) when they come over - I want the people to be comfortable more than I want to advocate for my cats' rights. Same with the dog. He's still little and easily excited, so I crate him when people come over and let him out after things have settled down, if the people are comfortable. If they are friends, just ask. They probably won't mind.

[Anonymous]

OP I agree, and it doesn't matter what type of dog it is, it happens. Unfortunately, I know 2 people this happened to, one was the victim and another instance my neighbors dog attacked their friend-he knew the dog well too.
It is horrible to think about and we have been in your shoes, since obviously I was nervous about it after knowing people this has happened to
We just had to ask our friends and not really worry about their feelings since we had to be more concerned for our kids. Their dogs were very big and active, and my son wasn't great with dogs since he was too young to really know how to stay out of their face since he was exactly as tall as their faces...it isn't easy but put it on yourself and just explain that you are nervous about your child being around dogs (don't bring up breed since it may not even be a factor)

17:24 again. This totally gives me the chills. As a dog owner I would never want my dog loose among small children who are on a face-to-face level with my dog. I love my dogs and they love me and my family but you never know what could set a dog off and the damage a dog could do at face-level is quite major. Be strong, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking them to crate is a bit specific. At the next invitation, why not just say that you'd love to come but are concerned about the kids and the dog being together, is there a way we could keep them separate? Then they can decide if they want to put the dog outside, in another room, or say no.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking them to crate is a bit specific. At the next invitation, why not just say that you'd love to come but are concerned about the kids and the dog being together, is there a way we could keep them separate? Then they can decide if they want to put the dog outside, in another room, or say no.

Your right.. I shouldn't have been so specific.. it's not about the breed, or crating the dog, it's about keeping them all separate. Thanks for your help and advice all!

[Anonymous]

As a dog owner I would not be offended, although you also need to be realistic about how long the dog can be crated. I think you are right to be vigilant. We had a gathering at our house with quite a few kids and our normally docile dog I think got poked once too many times and did nip at a child. So now if we are having small kids we do try to keep her away.

[Anonymous]

Is everyone missing this tidbit from the OP?:

and he's already attacked another dog.

In my mind, that's all the justification you need to ask that they keep the dog separate from your kids when you visit. If they refuse, you have to politely decline to come. No need to get into the pits-are-more-likely-to-attack discussion, which as you can see brings the defenders out of the woodwork. (Although you could say that your fears are exacerbated by the fact that pits are so powerful that IF something were to happen, the damage is more severe. But there's not even any reason for that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm bringing my dog to a friends house. How do I ask them to lock their kids in the room while I'm over there? Thanks!

Like.

Their house, their rules. If you accept an invitation to their house, you accept the way they live in their house.

I thought there was only one slowpoke who equated dogs with kids. It's disheartening to realize that it's more widespread than I thought.