Is it reasonable to ask your parents what your inheritance expectations should be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are really weird. I see this as "family" money too, and I think you owe your children to leave them something if you can, just as your parents owe it to you to leave you something if they can. what is distasteful is blowing your lifetime of earnings on frivolous crap when your kids and their kids could really use it. If I cannot leave my daughters significant funds after I die, and help them with their first houses and their kids while I am alive, I will think I have failed as a parent in some respect. Just like my parents helped me whenever I needed it. It was implicit, just part of our relationship. And it goes both ways - if my parents needed help I would help them unconditionally.

My parents refuse to help my brother financially because he does not, and has not in the past 20 years since graduating from college, work full time. They paid for his college education. Even though they could co-sign loans and "lend" him money, they worked hard for it, and he hasn't and doesn't, so they don't. And I don't need their money, so they don't give me or my children any of it.

well I am assuming the kids are not losers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


hah, glad that I disgust you. Yes, I think you owe your kids to try to pass on something after you are gone. That doesn't mean you don't raise them to be self-reliant with good education and a good work ethic. I help my sisters and my parents out unconditionally. They can count on me and I can count on them. We are a family. I'm 41 years old. I certainly plan on leaving my kids an inheritance and that would please me much more than spending a lot of money in my old age.

Am I reading this correct? You OWE your kids? I think it is the other way around honey. You OWE your parents for bringing you into this world and that means taking care of them in their elderly days and not bugging them about money. What makes you think they won't live until they are in their 100's? They need that money to live on. You remind me of my aunt, I remember her walking through my grandma's house and pointing to all the things she wanted after they died. She also hounded grandma about the will and how much she could expect. In the end she go nothing, my grandparents left all their money to their grandchildren. And many parents do just this, so watch out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Children who might otherwise have each expected to receive 6-figure inheiritances instead received boxes of family photos and a few knick knacks. "

Love this one!!

javascript:emoticon(''); Yes! Until it happens to a loved one. In my case, my mother - she's an only child and was singular support for her father for YEARS until he met and married a woman in his church - she was his age and not really lookin' to marry - but her daughter came along and saw my grandpa's dollar signs! The daughter quickly got them married up, got the will changed, and got everything! Except of course the old family photos and a few knick knacks. Made me quite ill to watch that happen to my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


hah, glad that I disgust you. Yes, I think you owe your kids to try to pass on something after you are gone. That doesn't mean you don't raise them to be self-reliant with good education and a good work ethic. I help my sisters and my parents out unconditionally. They can count on me and I can count on them. We are a family. I'm 41 years old. I certainly plan on leaving my kids an inheritance and that would please me much more than spending a lot of money in my old age.

Am I reading this correct? You OWE your kids? I think it is the other way around honey. You OWE your parents for bringing you into this world and that means taking care of them in their elderly days and not bugging them about money. What makes you think they won't live until they are in their 100's? They need that money to live on. You remind me of my aunt, I remember her walking through my grandma's house and pointing to all the things she wanted after they died. She also hounded grandma about the will and how much she could expect. In the end she go nothing, my grandparents left all their money to their grandchildren. And many parents do just this, so watch out!

so dumb. read it again. "I HELP MY SISTERS AND MY PARENTS OUT UNCONDITIONALLY. THEY CAN COUNT ON ME AND I CAN COUNT ON THEM.

Two way street, called a family.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure my parents have a bunch put away, but I am not taking any inheritance into account when I plan for my retirement...in fact I never even think of it. Also, if your parents end up going into assisted living or skilled living one day - that can eat up a ton of money, so even if you were to get an estimate now, it might not look like that at all in the future.

[Anonymous]

Hell, I hope 0. They took good care of us growing up, lived frugally when they needed to and have a substantial retirement. They deserve it more than me and the siblings!

[Anonymous]

If they gave you college and/or a wedding, thank God and call it a day o greedy ones. Wow. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Am I reading this correct? You OWE your kids? I think it is the other way around honey. You OWE your parents for bringing you into this world and that means taking care of them in their elderly days and not bugging them about money. What makes you think they won't live until they are in their 100's? They need that money to live on. You remind me of my aunt, I remember her walking through my grandma's house and pointing to all the things she wanted after they died. She also hounded grandma about the will and how much she could expect. In the end she go nothing, my grandparents left all their money to their grandchildren. And many parents do just this, so watch out!

!!!
I like this post, and agree!

unless there is an inherited family trust, the parents have no obligation to leave a red cent to any able-bodied adult; if the child is disabled or under 21, yes, there is some responsibility to provide

And as far as second marriages go, prenups are great
heck, they are good for first marriages, too, and thirds...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

I agree. My husband's mother and her sister could not WAIT until their mother died so that they could get her money. It was horrifying. I loved their mother and just hoped she would live to 110 and that she would spend every penny on herself before she died. And guess what, she lived to 98, and then my husband's mother died of lung cancer five years later. So she wasted twenty years of her life waiting for money that she wasn't even able to enjoy.

On the other hand, my family has all sorts of trusts set up, but we don't talk about them. I consider it all my parents' money - for a rainy day or medical issues or whatever they might need as they get old. I hate to even think about them because it would mean that something bad happened to my parents. So I hate this whole thread and the ways that people are wondering about how their parents' money will help finance their own retirements.

Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

I agree. My husband's mother and her sister could not WAIT until their mother died so that they could get her money. It was horrifying. I loved their mother and just hoped she would live to 110 and that she would spend every penny on herself before she died. And guess what, she lived to 98, and then my husband's mother died of lung cancer five years later. So she wasted twenty years of her life waiting for money that she wasn't even able to enjoy.

On the other hand, my family has all sorts of trusts set up, but we don't talk about them. I consider it all my parents' money - for a rainy day or medical issues or whatever they might need as they get old. I hate to even think about them because it would mean that something bad happened to my parents. So I hate this whole thread and the ways that people are wondering about how their parents' money will help finance their own retirements.

Gross.

you people are bizarre. Of course I expect my family to leave me an inheritance, and of course we discuss it. Just like I expect to leave my children an inheritance and I will discuss it with them. I consider all of it OUR money, not one individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

I agree. My husband's mother and her sister could not WAIT until their mother died so that they could get her money. It was horrifying. I loved their mother and just hoped she would live to 110 and that she would spend every penny on herself before she died. And guess what, she lived to 98, and then my husband's mother died of lung cancer five years later. So she wasted twenty years of her life waiting for money that she wasn't even able to enjoy.

On the other hand, my family has all sorts of trusts set up, but we don't talk about them. I consider it all my parents' money - for a rainy day or medical issues or whatever they might need as they get old. I hate to even think about them because it would mean that something bad happened to my parents. So I hate this whole thread and the ways that people are wondering about how their parents' money will help finance their own retirements.

Gross.

you people are bizarre. Of course I expect my family to leave me an inheritance, and of course we discuss it. Just like I expect to leave my children an inheritance and I will discuss it with them. I consider all of it OUR money, not one individual.

Some researchers suspect that as many as half of all people over 80 years old develop Alzheimer's disease.

Do you expect to live independently and not need to spend huge sums of money, until the day you die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

I agree. My husband's mother and her sister could not WAIT until their mother died so that they could get her money. It was horrifying. I loved their mother and just hoped she would live to 110 and that she would spend every penny on herself before she died. And guess what, she lived to 98, and then my husband's mother died of lung cancer five years later. So she wasted twenty years of her life waiting for money that she wasn't even able to enjoy.

On the other hand, my family has all sorts of trusts set up, but we don't talk about them. I consider it all my parents' money - for a rainy day or medical issues or whatever they might need as they get old. I hate to even think about them because it would mean that something bad happened to my parents. So I hate this whole thread and the ways that people are wondering about how their parents' money will help finance their own retirements.

Gross.

you people are bizarre. Of course I expect my family to leave me an inheritance, and of course we discuss it. Just like I expect to leave my children an inheritance and I will discuss it with them. I consider all of it OUR money, not one individual.

Some researchers suspect that as many as half of all people over 80 years old develop Alzheimer's disease.

Do you expect to live independently and not need to spend huge sums of money, until the day you die?

if my parents get sick they will live with me. If I get sick when I am old, my kids will take care of me. again, its a family.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My kids will also not know what they will be getting. You are doing them no favors, and negatively influencing their futures otherwise. Huge injustices, in every way. What if they do not live up to their potential (because of what they "expect" - inheritence and otherwise)? What if they also inherit your rotten attitidue of seeing people with a dollar sign on their forehead (admit it or not)? What if they choose a spouse like you did, with expected worth that doesn't pan out (therefor becoming bitter and entitled, see your own post for proof)? PP, are you that thick? Really? Have you ever heard of a decent financial advisor? It's a rhetorical question. I'm embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, truly hope I don't know any of the ones claiming to be owed anything. By anyone. Grow the f*ck up. Take responsibility for your own lives and how they did or did not take shape. Don't blame anyone else (including and especially an aged parent, you should be ashamed of yourself) for who you married. Disgusting.

I agree. My husband's mother and her sister could not WAIT until their mother died so that they could get her money. It was horrifying. I loved their mother and just hoped she would live to 110 and that she would spend every penny on herself before she died. And guess what, she lived to 98, and then my husband's mother died of lung cancer five years later. So she wasted twenty years of her life waiting for money that she wasn't even able to enjoy.

On the other hand, my family has all sorts of trusts set up, but we don't talk about them. I consider it all my parents' money - for a rainy day or medical issues or whatever they might need as they get old. I hate to even think about them because it would mean that something bad happened to my parents. So I hate this whole thread and the ways that people are wondering about how their parents' money will help finance their own retirements.

Gross.

you people are bizarre. Of course I expect my family to leave me an inheritance, and of course we discuss it. Just like I expect to leave my children an inheritance and I will discuss it with them. I consider all of it OUR money, not one individual.

Some researchers suspect that as many as half of all people over 80 years old develop Alzheimer's disease.

Do you expect to live independently and not need to spend huge sums of money, until the day you die?

if my parents get sick they will live with me. If I get sick when I am old, my kids will take care of me. again, its a family.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Let us know how that all works out.