DD hit DH, apologized - DH still won’t engage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not 1980. You don't just ground and take away a phone and think it will fix anything. Get her to a psychiatrist soon and figure out what is going on.

She has no history of mental health problems, no symptoms —this was a one-time incident where she hit him. She responds well to consequences.

It’s not normal.

It’s not normal but it’s also not atypical or means there’s an issue.

It is atypical.

It’s probably not common, but I’d say teens acting out is normal. I had my moments when I was a teenager, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You tuck in your 16 year old?

Yea, she still wants to be. Its usually just sitting and talking, or watching something, and then we say good night, I love you, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tuck in your 16 year old?

Yea, she still wants to be. Its usually just sitting and talking, or watching something, and then we say good night, I love you, etc.

This girl’s trouble. Spoiled and infantalized at home. Bad behavior shrugged off as teens will be teens.

[Anonymous]

Actions have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, My husband acted the same yesterday until dinner, when they finally sat down and talked things through. He made it clear that hitting is never okay, and they had a long conversation about expectations, respect, and how to behave in public. I’ve already wrote out the consequences she’ll face. She does have a watch she can use to call in an emergency.

I also think it’s important to remember that teens can have tough moments—she was having a bad day. It doesn’t signal always signal bigger issues. That said, she knows this behavior isn’t acceptable, and we’re addressing it seriously.

Bad days don't involve assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is acting cold towards my daughter, and it’s not okay.

Last night at dinner with my sister-in-law (it was her favorite restaurant), my daughter was already upset because she didn’t like where we were eating. She was acting rude toward my husband — eye rolling, attitude, etc. She got upset over something small and escalated into being openly disrespectful. My husband corrected her, which escalated things further, and she ended up hitting him — once in the car and again at home.

She turned around and tried to walk away after that and he grabbed her phone, and made her stay in her bedroom the rest of the night. He said she was a brat. When she tried to come out, he yelled at her to stay inside. There was no tuck-in or goodnight.

This morning she woke up happy and came into our bedroom early and woke us up, apologized, gave us hugs, and seemed genuinely sorry. But my husband stayed very cold and didn’t have a calm conversation with her. She asked my husband for her phone back, but he told her no. She sat crying in our bed, ended up missing the bus, and I had to drive her 40 minutes to school while she cried the whole way. Now she thinks her dad doesn’t love her anymore because of how he’s treated her.

My daughter apologized to my husband, so how long can we expect my husband to act distant and cold. This isn’t healthy for her, and I think my husband is being unreasonable.

How do you balance holding firm boundaries while also repairing things afterward?

After hitting him twice, why on earth would sucking up get her “her phone back” the VERY NEXT MORNING? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is acting cold towards my daughter, and it’s not okay.

Last night at dinner with my sister-in-law (it was her favorite restaurant), my daughter was already upset because she didn’t like where we were eating. She was acting rude toward my husband — eye rolling, attitude, etc. She got upset over something small and escalated into being openly disrespectful. My husband corrected her, which escalated things further, and she ended up hitting him — once in the car and again at home.

She turned around and tried to walk away after that and he grabbed her phone, and made her stay in her bedroom the rest of the night. He said she was a brat. When she tried to come out, he yelled at her to stay inside. There was no tuck-in or goodnight.

This morning she woke up happy and came into our bedroom early and woke us up, apologized, gave us hugs, and seemed genuinely sorry. But my husband stayed very cold and didn’t have a calm conversation with her. She asked my husband for her phone back, but he told her no. She sat crying in our bed, ended up missing the bus, and I had to drive her 40 minutes to school while she cried the whole way. Now she thinks her dad doesn’t love her anymore because of how he’s treated her.

My daughter apologized to my husband, so how long can we expect my husband to act distant and cold. This isn’t healthy for her, and I think my husband is being unreasonable.

How do you balance holding firm boundaries while also repairing things afterward?

After hitting him twice, why on earth would sucking up get her “her phone back” the VERY NEXT MORNING? 🙄

OP you obviously prefer your abusive and violent daughter.

[Anonymous]

I think you guys are being overly critical to a teen girl. She didn’t assault anyone and she isn’t abusive or violent, she’s a kid. I hit my parents six or seven times at her age, and all is fine.

[Anonymous]

What is happening here. I thought this child was maybe 12 or 13...and even then I wouldn't say your DH is really in the wrong. I wouldn't handle it the way he is but I think its a fair response. But 16! Hell no. You need some boundaries before she does this to someone else and gets arrested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are being overly critical to a teen girl. She didn’t assault anyone and she isn’t abusive or violent, she’s a kid. I hit my parents six or seven times at her age, and all is fine.

Is this OP?

[Anonymous]

Hitting parents is ok? Expected of a teen?
DCUM lost its mind over a SIL spanking a kid on the leg. Cut off contact, etc.
But hitting parents, big hugs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are being overly critical to a teen girl. She didn’t assault anyone and she isn’t abusive or violent, she’s a kid. I hit my parents six or seven times at her age, and all is fine.

Is this OP?

Yes, DDs behavior isn’t a cause for concern, and it doesn’t determine anything. She is fine, she’s received consequences, and will not do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are being overly critical to a teen girl. She didn’t assault anyone and she isn’t abusive or violent, she’s a kid. I hit my parents six or seven times at her age, and all is fine.

Is this OP?

Yes, DDs behavior isn’t a cause for concern, and it doesn’t determine anything. She is fine, she’s received consequences, and will not do it again.

Such a troll intended to continue stirring outrage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are being overly critical to a teen girl. She didn’t assault anyone and she isn’t abusive or violent, she’s a kid. I hit my parents six or seven times at her age, and all is fine.

Is this OP?

Yes, DDs behavior isn’t a cause for concern, and it doesn’t determine anything. She is fine, she’s received consequences, and will not do it again.

No.

I'm the PP who laid out the definition of domestic assault. Please understand this: I've worked with kids who started with once or twice to a parent and then it escalated. Teens hitting parents is NOT normal; this doesn't normally happen unless it's a response to abuse or the teen has mental health issues. What is normal (but not socially acceptable) is teens fighting each other. Get her mental health help, and for goodness sake, disclose the assault on her parent during the evaluation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how old is she?

She’s 16.

No "tuck in"???