DD hit DH, apologized - DH still won’t engage
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Anonymous
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My husband is acting cold towards my daughter, and it’s not okay.
Last night at dinner with my sister-in-law (it was her favorite restaurant), my daughter was already upset because she didn’t like where we were eating. She was acting rude toward my husband — eye rolling, attitude, etc. She got upset over something small and escalated into being openly disrespectful. My husband corrected her, which escalated things further, and she ended up hitting him — once in the car and again at home. She turned around and tried to walk away after that and he grabbed her phone, and made her stay in her bedroom the rest of the night. He said she was a brat. When she tried to come out, he yelled at her to stay inside. There was no tuck-in or goodnight. This morning she woke up happy and came into our bedroom early and woke us up, apologized, gave us hugs, and seemed genuinely sorry. But my husband stayed very cold and didn’t have a calm conversation with her. She asked my husband for her phone back, but he told her no. She sat crying in our bed, ended up missing the bus, and I had to drive her 40 minutes to school while she cried the whole way. Now she thinks her dad doesn’t love her anymore because of how he’s treated her. My daughter apologized to my husband, so how long can we expect my husband to act distant and cold. This isn’t healthy for her, and I think my husband is being unreasonable. How do you balance holding firm boundaries while also repairing things afterward? |
Anonymous
| how old is she? |
Anonymous
| Um, she physically harmed him, which is not OK. So if he needs more time, he needs more time. |
Anonymous
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Why is he doing all the discipline. Did you back him up? She is violent and attacking her family.
That isn't something an apology fixes. You should be discussing with your husband what the response to this is as a team. Both in terms of consequences and in terms of getting her help. A tween / teen who hits their mother or father because they were repimanded for being rude has major issues that need to be addressed now while she is still young. Her phone should be gone for awhile and you need some serious intervention. First her behavior at the restaurant is very immature and innapropriate and her aggression isn't something you brush aside. You need to back up her dad and also be the tough parent. Right now the concern from your end should not be that he is being colder |
Anonymous
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I think things have gotten to a very bad point where your daughter is hitting someone twice in a night.
This is not a "send to your room" level issue. You and husband need to figure out what is going on here and have an appropriate level of correction/punishment with your daughter. You guys need to be a team here and take this seriously. I don't think this incident is over nor should it be. Is this behavior out of the blue or part of a larger pattern? |
Anonymous
It does sound very trollish but I don't really get what the point is of posting fake stories for people to respond to. What is the reward for the troll in these cases? |
Anonymous
| How old is your daughter? I'm picturing her to be pretty young if she's coming into your room waking you up with hugs. Too young for a phone. |
Anonymous
| Losing her phone for longer than a night seems reasonable here. |
Anonymous
She’s 16. |
Anonymous
| Troll |
Anonymous
I posted before. I expected my husbands reaction to be temporary, but it wasn’t so I’m mainly looking for advice on how to prove to him that what he’s doing is wrong. She’s received consequences for her behavior. She became angry, and resorted to violence which isn’t the solution, and we’re working on dealing with it. I just think he shouldn’t be cold to her. How can I get him to see how this is hurting her? |
Anonymous
Because they are produced by AI |
Anonymous
| You posted already. Her behavior is your fault. Take some parenting classes. |
Anonymous
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People pushing a person to the edge of their rope and then blaming them for their actions is a form of abuse.
Your blaming her for a reaction to abuse not an action in and of itself. It’s called reactive abuse or blame-shifting. It is a form of emotional manipulation designed to provoke an outburst, allowing the perpetrator to portray themselves as the victim. She’s 16 if she asks to stay home let her stay home. If she doesn’t want to go somewhere let her stay home. She’s told u what she wanted, you ignored it then pushed and pushed and pushed and now you’re blaming her. Is this a family pattern, |
Anonymous
It’s a troll |