St Alban's and NCS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both schools are the right fit for the right child. I have 2 girls at NCS. They both went to Beauvoir and both are doing very well academically. It's not perfect. No where is. Each class will have its own dynamics - good and bad. We considered looking elsewhere for my oldest and after touring a handful of schools, she decided that NCS was the right place for her. As for the parent community, it could be better. In fact, I think the NCS mom community has been the worst part of NCS. The cliques start with the moms trying to curate a certain experience for their girls. In fact, the part that has been weird for me is the number of girls who are at an academically rigorous all girls school whose end game is to marry rich. There a lot of wealthy superficial elite country club women - and those who are not but so desperately want to fit in and be invited to country clubs - at NCS. But there are also some amazing, genuine NCS moms who all want the same things for our girls. I have found my mom group and these women will be in my life forever.

As for STA, I know quite a few families there and for the most part they all seem happy. Again, not perfect. I have heard complaints about certain teachers but nothing that has risen to people considering leaving the school because of it. Parents that I know with kids at both schools, seem to generally prefer the way things are done at STA.

As for interaction between the girls at NCS and boys at STA, in my opinion, it's just the right balance. If I wanted my girls to go to schools with boys, we wouldn't be at an all girls school. I find it odd when parents complain about this. The only time were this is minimal interaction is lower school. By middle school they can do theater and sports together. As best as I can tell they aren't being deprives socially as there seems to be a fair amount of "dating" going on between the two schools.

Also, I don't think it's true that most of the Beauvoir kids leave. First, by the time US rolls around the Beauvoir kids don't make up the majority because after 4th grade entry year they add non BVR girls in 5th (a very small number), 6th (a whole class), 7th and 8th (possibly whole classes), and for 9th (a very large number). From LS to MS, a handful will leave. From MS to HS, 10 to 12 will leave. In both cases, it's just not girls who came from Beauvoir.

+1 minus the last paragraph.

The numbers regarding new students for each grade (i.e. "whole classes") is not fully accurate nor is the number of Beauvoir students who leave. I find that most Beauvoir students are staying at NCS even if it is no longer the right fit for them.

100% for "The cliques start with the moms trying to curate a certain experience for their girls" -- this is true and very weird and maybe we all subconsciously do this, but it is weird at NCS. Parents will ignore you if they have already put you in a box and their daughters act the same way to their classmates.

That being said, overall, we are having a good experience.

The only people that behave this way are the small clusters of Chevy and Congo families. Thankfully at NCS they are not as prevalent as elsewhere. Overall, most of NCS is NOT that way at all.

We all must be speaking of the same people. Ha! Those are exactly the 2 country clubs they belong to. We have only been on the Close so I don’t know how prevalent this is at other schools, but seems to the biggest driver of negativity at NCS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both schools are the right fit for the right child. I have 2 girls at NCS. They both went to Beauvoir and both are doing very well academically. It's not perfect. No where is. Each class will have its own dynamics - good and bad. We considered looking elsewhere for my oldest and after touring a handful of schools, she decided that NCS was the right place for her. As for the parent community, it could be better. In fact, I think the NCS mom community has been the worst part of NCS. The cliques start with the moms trying to curate a certain experience for their girls. In fact, the part that has been weird for me is the number of girls who are at an academically rigorous all girls school whose end game is to marry rich. There a lot of wealthy superficial elite country club women - and those who are not but so desperately want to fit in and be invited to country clubs - at NCS. But there are also some amazing, genuine NCS moms who all want the same things for our girls. I have found my mom group and these women will be in my life forever.

As for STA, I know quite a few families there and for the most part they all seem happy. Again, not perfect. I have heard complaints about certain teachers but nothing that has risen to people considering leaving the school because of it. Parents that I know with kids at both schools, seem to generally prefer the way things are done at STA.

As for interaction between the girls at NCS and boys at STA, in my opinion, it's just the right balance. If I wanted my girls to go to schools with boys, we wouldn't be at an all girls school. I find it odd when parents complain about this. The only time were this is minimal interaction is lower school. By middle school they can do theater and sports together. As best as I can tell they aren't being deprives socially as there seems to be a fair amount of "dating" going on between the two schools.

Also, I don't think it's true that most of the Beauvoir kids leave. First, by the time US rolls around the Beauvoir kids don't make up the majority because after 4th grade entry year they add non BVR girls in 5th (a very small number), 6th (a whole class), 7th and 8th (possibly whole classes), and for 9th (a very large number). From LS to MS, a handful will leave. From MS to HS, 10 to 12 will leave. In both cases, it's just not girls who came from Beauvoir.

+1 minus the last paragraph.

The numbers regarding new students for each grade (i.e. "whole classes") is not fully accurate nor is the number of Beauvoir students who leave. I find that most Beauvoir students are staying at NCS even if it is no longer the right fit for them.

100% for "The cliques start with the moms trying to curate a certain experience for their girls" -- this is true and very weird and maybe we all subconsciously do this, but it is weird at NCS. Parents will ignore you if they have already put you in a box and their daughters act the same way to their classmates.

That being said, overall, we are having a good experience.

Except this is true for every single school ….

[Anonymous]

Some of the lightweight country club families take their kids out of NCS for easier pathways in the various counties. Happens every year. No judgement. Do what works best for you. NCS is not an easy place, but the education is second to none.

[Anonymous]

I’ve stepped foot on NCS grounds exactly three times this year — all for parent-teacher conferences. Why does anyone feel like they need to derive any do of social validation from this group of parents? The only purpose this school serves is to educate my daughter. Period.

[Anonymous]

Yes — it’s striking how academic-focused events at NCS, like back to school night, bring out a much wider range of parents. Makes it much clearer that it’s not all trust funds, biglaw and real housewives, compared to eg Thursday morning PA meetings.

[Anonymous]

In our grade at NCS, the moms who try to run the social scene seem to be the ones who want to relive their own school social experience but this time as someone who is actually popular. It’s obvious because they are dumpy and doughy but want to be Regina George in this incarnation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve stepped foot on NCS grounds exactly three times this year — all for parent-teacher conferences. Why does anyone feel like they need to derive any do of social validation from this group of parents? The only purpose this school serves is to educate my daughter. Period.

It's not about validation. Certain mom/parent behaviors negatively impact the school’s communal atmosphere. The influence of some parents fosters a mean girl dynamic among their daughters. It isn't necessarily outward or aggressive; rather, it's expressed through ignoring others or acting as though they don't exist. It stems from a sense of being "too good" to engage, which often seems to be rooted in behaviors that start at home. If your daughter hasn't mentioned it, good for her that she doesn't feel that way at school.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to deal with those girls/ families. They’re doing you a favor by showing you their true character. There are plenty of nice normal girls to choose as friends

[Anonymous]

NCS does not indulge parents, especially moms who try to "run" things.
Anyone caught up in the perceived "negative communal atmosphere" needs to get a life. The school is for your child's education, as previously noted.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you get a life instead of policing how people feel about their school experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people say competitive, you're actually competing on what dimension? Wealth? Unless you actually own a gold mine or an oil rig or employee number ten at Amazon or got lots of Apple stock I don't see how this can work.

Competitive as in they want to be the best at everything, academically "I got an A on that last test, what did you get?" and in sports (which is much more of a focus for many families there than you would expect), and many girls also care about looking "the best" too (as in having the "right" ie expensive brands of clothing,etc). There is also competition for attention from boys within certain sets in the US and the dynamics between NCS and STA can be unhealthy, with a lot of toxic male behavior in certain groups. The workload gets intense at NCS so don't even consider it beyond LS if your child is not naturally organized and on top of things on their own. It only ramps up in MS and then again in US.
The competitive environment actually stems from an underlying intense insecurity within many of the girl's, because they feel they can never measure up to the standards they believe are expected of them, and then it creates an uber judgmental environment rather than supporting each other. There was a MS teacher at NCS who would say to my daughter's class that NCS stood for "National Competitive School". We thought that was odd that a teacher would say that to the girls, as if it was part of their identity, instead of trying to reduce that behavior.
NCS provides a wonderful education, and for some girls the competitive and intense environment rolls off their back more than it does for others. It really depends on your family and your child. Is your child athletic, socially aware, competitive (as in they are driven by the feeling of being "in competition"), organized and a rule follower? Then they will likely do fine. Also, so much of the experience also depends on the cohort your child happens to have in their grade which is beyond your control (at any place). US there is very different than LS. Remember that you can also change at 6th or 7th should you decide your children are not a great fit. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I should have added to the list of traits above that a girl who does very well there is also a very strong academically, obviously. That is what is hard for you to tell in third grade, unless your child tests exceptionally high at that age and then you should feel confident she will likely do well assuming she has the traits listed above, should she have the opportunity to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

This is one of the craziest things I have read here and it is absolutely exactly the opposite of our experience. Our DS was not an STA lifer and we did not know one person when he began school there. He and all of his friends loved their STA experience (some were better students than others), and I am confident these boys will be his lifelong friends. They talk about sending their own sons there. As a parent, several of my closest friends are other parents I met at STA - there are many smart, interesting and thoughtful adults there. Many, many parents I know sent their sons to STA and chose schools other than NCS for their daughters (myself included).

DP. Yes there are some nice parents there of course but I would agree that overall the parent community is very cold, distant, dismissive of parents not in their group, and just not very embracing to most other parents outside of their already in tact social circle.

You may be part of the mean mom group (or were if you are now an alum parent) which would explain why you had such a great experience. Those moms tend to just love it and flock together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

This is one of the craziest things I have read here and it is absolutely exactly the opposite of our experience. Our DS was not an STA lifer and we did not know one person when he began school there. He and all of his friends loved their STA experience (some were better students than others), and I am confident these boys will be his lifelong friends. They talk about sending their own sons there. As a parent, several of my closest friends are other parents I met at STA - there are many smart, interesting and thoughtful adults there. Many, many parents I know sent their sons to STA and chose schools other than NCS for their daughters (myself included).

DP. Yes there are some nice parents there of course but I would agree that overall the parent community is very cold, distant, dismissive of parents not in their group, and just not very embracing to most other parents outside of their already in tact social circle.

You may be part of the mean mom group (or were if you are now an alum parent) which would explain why you had such a great experience. Those moms tend to just love it and flock together.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were/are intentional about their girls only befriending other rich, elite, country club belonging girls and they seek to hang out with boys from the same/similar kind of families. Their play dates, birthday parties, and other outside school hangouts were/are often exclusive to girls from similar backgrounds.

This is how I remember both schools back in the ‘90s. Quite a few of those STA/NCS friendships turned into marriages. Which for some I guess is the point.