St Alban's and NCS

[Anonymous]

We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

[Anonymous]

Beauvoir family too. We have students at both schools. We loved NCS in Lower, a little less in middle. STA has been fine but honestly unless your student is a star athlete and student they are going to feel dumb/untethered. I would recommend looking at other options TBH. Most of the kids from beauvoir have left NCS and some are leaving STA>

[Anonymous]

I have girls at NCS and so far it has been great. Not a lot pressure on my opinion, but we are not in US yet. My kids are doing great and love their school and friends. I have heard that the current 5th grade is quite unhappy, but I have no idea why because I don’t have kids in that grade.
No eating disorders or need for psychological help that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have girls at NCS and so far it has been great. Not a lot pressure on my opinion, but we are not in US yet. My kids are doing great and love their school and friends. I have heard that the current 5th grade is quite unhappy, but I have no idea why because I don’t have kids in that grade.
No eating disorders or need for psychological help that I know of.

I want to add that I believe the school has done a lot of work around mean girls behavior and being a pressure cooker school. The LS head is fantastic in my opinion. Don’t know enough about the others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have girls at NCS and so far it has been great. Not a lot pressure on my opinion, but we are not in US yet. My kids are doing great and love their school and friends. I have heard that the current 5th grade is quite unhappy, but I have no idea why because I don’t have kids in that grade.
No eating disorders or need for psychological help that I know of.

I want to add that I believe the school has done a lot of work around mean girls behavior and being a pressure cooker school. The LS head is fantastic in my opinion. Don’t know enough about the others.

The last part. LOL. This is an anonymous board as far as far as I know. No need for boot licking

[Anonymous]

I’m an NCS alumna and in touch with some of my StA alumni peers. Some from my cohort ended up sending their children to the Cathedral schools.

Both NCS and StA can be great for the right kid. The right kid is achievement oriented, self-motivated, and naturally competitive (without taking the competition overboard). Being organized and/or having a parent who helps with organization helps a lot too. A lot of us alumni talk about having felt on the outside socially. There’s a small group of very self-assured teens at both schools who manage to get good grades, connect with teachers, and connect with each other while making it look effortless from the outside. Many of these kids are also from very wealthy families. The rest of the students can still get great educations, make friends, have good experiences in extracurriculars, etc., but we often grew up with some level of anxiety about not stacking up in one way or another.

It can be really difficult to tell when your child is in primary school whether he or she will have the disposition to thrive in a very competitive environment. Look at a few schools and try to get a sense for the community and culture at each.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is not a good resource for this kind of thing, obviously. You get a lot of angry pissed off people posting about the terribleness of the schools.

Parents at BVR have loads of access to families at both schools — informally through older siblings and formally (ask BVR) — if you want real (not anonymous troll posts) about the schools.

We are in US at STA; we are not insiders. We are not in the top 1%; we do not belong to any cc; our children are not lifers. Our sons have thrived in the academics, taken risks that have impressed us - running for things or starting activities or going out for teams, and made friends with other boys who we personally like—they are grateful, kind, funny and joyous. We are more than happy to share in person or over the phone our experience with anyone the school puts us in touch with or who just asks us. Try that route to get a real sense before judging where to send your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beauvoir family too. We have students at both schools. We loved NCS in Lower, a little less in middle. STA has been fine but honestly unless your student is a star athlete and student they are going to feel dumb/untethered. I would recommend looking at other options TBH. Most of the kids from beauvoir have left NCS and some are leaving STA>

Beauvoir kids leaving NCS/STA could be that they were given a leg up in admissions for fourth grade but by high school, the schools are too rigorous for them. When I was at NCS, often the lifers were the least smart kids in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an NCS alumna and in touch with some of my StA alumni peers. Some from my cohort ended up sending their children to the Cathedral schools.

Both NCS and StA can be great for the right kid. The right kid is achievement oriented, self-motivated, and naturally competitive (without taking the competition overboard). Being organized and/or having a parent who helps with organization helps a lot too. A lot of us alumni talk about having felt on the outside socially. There’s a small group of very self-assured teens at both schools who manage to get good grades, connect with teachers, and connect with each other while making it look effortless from the outside. Many of these kids are also from very wealthy families. The rest of the students can still get great educations, make friends, have good experiences in extracurriculars, etc., but we often grew up with some level of anxiety about not stacking up in one way or another.

It can be really difficult to tell when your child is in primary school whether he or she will have the disposition to thrive in a very competitive environment. Look at a few schools and try to get a sense for the community and culture at each.

Very much this. Great schools if you have an excellent, motivated student. If not, it's really unfair to your kid to put them in that environment. I have one kid thriving at NCS and my other one loves STA but probably not the best fit academically. We won't move him but I see in retrospect that he would have been better off somewhere less intense academically.

[Anonymous]

I went to NCS and would have complained about it in college.

But now that I have watched my own kids go through MCPS, I absolutely appreciate the education I got at NCS.

And yes, NCS prepares you to thrive in life, in that you strive for excellence, you know how to work hard, etc.

But it's not for every kid. And watch out for that since you are at BVR - your kid has an admissions advantage and that may mean she gets in even though she maybe shouldn't.

Go to NCS if you want your kid to be in an environment where she learns to work hard and strive to do her best.

My kids' MCPS schools had a very slacker-ish atmosphere. My kids expected to do basically no homework. Maybe one hour a night. They were used to their teachers giving them time to do it in class. College has been an adjustment. And they took the hardest classes available in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and would have complained about it in college.

But now that I have watched my own kids go through MCPS, I absolutely appreciate the education I got at NCS.

And yes, NCS prepares you to thrive in life, in that you strive for excellence, you know how to work hard, etc.

But it's not for every kid. And watch out for that since you are at BVR - your kid has an admissions advantage and that may mean she gets in even though she maybe shouldn't.

Go to NCS if you want your kid to be in an environment where she learns to work hard and strive to do her best.

My kids' MCPS schools had a very slacker-ish atmosphere. My kids expected to do basically no homework. Maybe one hour a night. They were used to their teachers giving them time to do it in class. College has been an adjustment. And they took the hardest classes available in HS.

Oh, I forgot to add. I hate STA. Such an obnoxious, sexist, mean atmosphere. I would send my son to MCPS again over STA.

[Anonymous]

When people say competitive, you're actually competing on what dimension? Wealth? Unless you actually own a gold mine or an oil rig or employee number ten at Amazon or got lots of Apple stock I don't see how this can work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

NCS is a school full of cliques. Your kid is in or is out. The administration loves the word "NO" when the student government proposes ANYTHING. Several good teachers in HS, but my daughter is very happy to be graduating soon.

[Anonymous]

We have had a positive experience as NCS parents, even though we did not come from Beauvoir. Overall, the academics in the Lower and Middle Schools offer a good balance of rigor and workload.

In the Lower School (grades 4–6), there is minimal homework, which I believe creates a healthier environment for that age group. The Middle School generally has a manageable flow of homework, though it can occasionally feel unnecessarily heavy. This can be a challenge for students balancing intensive extracurricular activities who have limited time in the afternoon; at least they can qualify for independent practice, which helps.

Regarding the student body, while I initially expected everyone to be exceptionally prepared (especially those coming from Beauvoir), we have found a wide variety of academic levels, which is typical for any school. Honestly, I'm surprised that some Beauvoir students are still at NCS. Additionally, since Beauvoir students tend to stick together, you should find that transition to be quite smooth.

[Anonymous]

My son arrived at in high school. We are not fancy people, country club members or VIPs. We are liberal politically.

We loved STA. Loved the traditions, teachers, the way the school is very organized and how they hold boys to a high standard but with a good deal of grace. Our son made a good number of life long friends. Other parents were very kind to our son and perfectly friendly to us. Our son is very smart but pretty unmotivated and really thrived under the high academic standards. He is a boy who would have done the least amount of work possible in a school where he could skate by (he's a professional at this). He's now at an Ivy and getting straight As and we really attribute this to the work ethic and focus he developed at STA.