St Alban's and NCS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

This is one of the craziest things I have read here and it is absolutely exactly the opposite of our experience. Our DS was not an STA lifer and we did not know one person when he began school there. He and all of his friends loved their STA experience (some were better students than others), and I am confident these boys will be his lifelong friends. They talk about sending their own sons there. As a parent, several of my closest friends are other parents I met at STA - there are many smart, interesting and thoughtful adults there. Many, many parents I know sent their sons to STA and chose schools other than NCS for their daughters (myself included).

That is great you had a wonderful experience. Others have not had the same experience.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We have a HS student at NCS and it is the right school for her. I've read about "toxic" and "mean girls" and "pressure cooker" on DCUM for years and years, but she felt like it was the right place for her, and I trusted that.

She's really happy and has found a nice group of friends who are not private jet to the second home kind of wealthy. She's playing sports and looks to be tracking into the advanced/honors classes. She is quite bright - was insufficiently challenged in middle school - and she is loving the challenge. Not to be overly rosy - of course she has bad days, and the work load is serious, but so far she's able to manage it without huge problems.

Our experience just does not track with all the horror stories I read here, so I thought I would chime in to say that. If you have a smart, driven, self-motivated kid who loves learning, it might be the perfect place for her.

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

Surprising given there’s so much overlap.

DP. Actually only 30 percent overlap of families that have kids in both schools. Many families have one gender - only daughters or only sons.

For others - they send elsewhere.

Several sisters in our grade were sent to more conservative Catholic schools like Holy Child, Stoneridge, or Visi

You mean the son goes to an Episcopalian school and his sisters go to Catholic schools? That seems odd.

It’s a reality.

Smart move. My friend has five kids and sent each one to a different school to get to know everyone worth knowing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We have a HS student at NCS and it is the right school for her. I've read about "toxic" and "mean girls" and "pressure cooker" on DCUM for years and years, but she felt like it was the right place for her, and I trusted that.

She's really happy and has found a nice group of friends who are not private jet to the second home kind of wealthy. She's playing sports and looks to be tracking into the advanced/honors classes. She is quite bright - was insufficiently challenged in middle school - and she is loving the challenge. Not to be overly rosy - of course she has bad days, and the work load is serious, but so far she's able to manage it without huge problems.

Our experience just does not track with all the horror stories I read here, so I thought I would chime in to say that. If you have a smart, driven, self-motivated kid who loves learning, it might be the perfect place for her.

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

Surprising given there’s so much overlap.

DP. Actually only 30 percent overlap of families that have kids in both schools. Many families have one gender - only daughters or only sons.

For others - they send elsewhere.

Several sisters in our grade were sent to more conservative Catholic schools like Holy Child, Stoneridge, or Visi

You mean the son goes to an Episcopalian school and his sisters go to Catholic schools? That seems odd.

It’s a reality.

Smart move. My friend has five kids and sent each one to a different school to get to know everyone worth knowing.

That is smart. I think I'll go get pregnant right now so I can do the same. Leave no stone unturned.

[Anonymous]

Couldn't be happier with my daughter's experience at NCS. She joined in ninth grade and she has loved the intense academic challenge, ambition, atmosphere, and support from teachers and classmates. It's an amazing place.

[Anonymous]

We are a new family in the lower school at STA. I love the sense of brotherhood and tradition at the school. I must say the workload has been a bit surprising. We came from another DC private and the homework for example is like night and day.

I could see how it might not be a good fit for everyone. It's very fraternal, competitive and sporty. That happens to work well for our DS but it's a POV that may be a turnoff for some. I've felt zero negativity or any overt political lean at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

I find NCS and St Alban very strange. They pretend they still live in some traditional bubble from 100 years ago. But the building, the single sex, the location, and the tradition are so out of place in the current time. I got that they want to imitate Oxford or Cambridge. But they never really were contemporary. The Close feels so odd. Just a reminder: the National Cathedral was built in 1893. My grand-grandmother's chair was older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

A bunch of wealthy old money and new strivers present that they have an elite and exclusive education. Nothing is inclusive, except their Au Pairs who take care of their Beauvoir siblings after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NCS US parent here; DD arrived in 9th grade, was looking for a competitive environment with motivated peers, found it, and is thriving. This thread considered in toto is the fairest description I have seen of the school and its complexities on this site. Well done, all!

+1. Many opportunities for the girls to find their "people" socially (sports, music, theater, etc). The girls are so much more collaborative than I was expecting. They celebrate each other, even beyond friend groups. It's a special place (not to discount the very true sentiment that it's hard/stressful and excellent time management skills are necessary).

[Anonymous]

Put two daughters through NCS and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. NCS didn’t invent eating disorders and putting a group of hyper competitive girls in a school can create problems. Some good. Some bad. The DEI thing has been dialed back and the Asst. Head of School Paige Blumer is doing her best to modify the schedule, lessen stress, and create more bonding opportunities between the upper and lower schools. Hope they don’t lose her.

That said much stress starts at home. If you’re trying to be that family and you’ve got that “Ivy or Bust” mentality you can do much to ameliorate the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put two daughters through NCS and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. NCS didn’t invent eating disorders and putting a group of hyper competitive girls in a school can create problems. Some good. Some bad. The DEI thing has been dialed back and the Asst. Head of School Paige Blumer is doing her best to modify the schedule, lessen stress, and create more bonding opportunities between the upper and lower schools. Hope they don’t lose her.

That said much stress starts at home. If you’re trying to be that family and you’ve got that “Ivy or Bust” mentality you can do much to ameliorate the problem.

In comparison to East Asian countries, pressure at NCS is relatively low. American parents are way too overprotective. Please take the phone away as much as possible, then everyone will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Exactly.

Don’t think your children can beat the algorithm. Do your coworkers make videos of you going about your daily business at the office? Phones make teens, especially teen girls, incredibly self conscious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

I find NCS and St Alban very strange. They pretend they still live in some traditional bubble from 100 years ago. But the building, the single sex, the location, and the tradition are so out of place in the current time. I got that they want to imitate Oxford or Cambridge. But they never really were contemporary. The Close feels so odd. Just a reminder: the National Cathedral was built in 1893. My grand-grandmother's chair was older.

Well, I find this statement (bolded) very strange. How is the location out of place in the current time? Single sex schools are more popular than ever, so you're wrong about that. And what "tradition" is so out of place in the current time?

Your entire post is based on personal feelings (a grudge?) that most people do not share.

[Anonymous]

Students at NCS and STA socialize quite a bit. They take classes together are on teams together and travel together.

Plenty of dating occurs.

Folks act as if they’re isolated on a windswept island off the northern coast of Scotland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Students at NCS and STA socialize quite a bit. They take classes together are on teams together and travel together.

Plenty of dating occurs.

Folks act as if they’re isolated on a windswept island off the northern coast of Scotland.

I disagree. STA and NCS barely socialize together. One or two classes here and there, and maybe a few extracurricular opportunities. It is not coed by any means and does not change the fact that they are single sex schools.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what your experience is with either of the schools on the close but there’s tons of cross pollination. Plenty of dating, parties, etc