Modern Love: Lindy West and polyamory

[Anonymous]

I’m beginning to wonder if the NYT simply hates women. Why publish this harmful content?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great episode of Blocked & Reported on her book within the last couple weeks.

Early in the book she even says he was seeing one other woman polyamorously and then admitted later that she was lying earlier and knew it was two.

Pretty good scam for a twice-divorced layabout with kids of his own already to move in with a breadwinner and keep messing around.

Ugh!!! Everything about this man makes me want to throw up!

The only thing I can think of is that she’s using this book & this essay to really ruin his reputation and make him look like an irredeemable leech.

I hope she has a prenup.

But she just wrote a long blog post singing his praises as well as those of the other woman (she refers to them as her spouses) and saying people have the wrong idea and just don't get it.

I don't know Lindy, I'm reading the words you wrote and the things you said, so if I'm getting the wrong idea, maybe start with the way you chose to tell this story.

[Anonymous]

What in the world do women see in this nebbish?

[Anonymous]

She is just a fat girl making fat girl decisions.

She is of the generation that needs to believe everything they do is validated, validating and needs to be performed for an audience.

The NYT is basically chasing after this demographic because their readership tends to age out into WSJ or Financial Times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What in the world do women see in this nebbish?

He's a talented musician. He's a good storyteller. They met doing stand-up, and his show, "Now I'm Fine," was funny.

So I can get why she's attracted to him and why in a lot of ways they're a good fit as partners. But if you want kids (the life she says she was imagining), polyamory with a guy who's had a vasectomy seems like the wrong move.

I love her writing. I wish she didn't sound like she has accepted a shallower version of happiness than she deserves (I too would like an arrangement where I could do whatever TF I want, even if my solo road trip would not be to Florida, but my other responsibilities make that a nonstarter for the moment).

[Anonymous]

Chef's kiss to the husband for implying that monogamy is racist. Truly a master manipulator at the top of his craft. Respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chef's kiss to the husband for implying that monogamy is racist. Truly a master manipulator at the top of his craft. Respect.

Yep. People like this are very consistent and no precisely what buttons to push.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world do women see in this nebbish?

He's a talented musician. He's a good storyteller. They met doing stand-up, and his show, "Now I'm Fine," was funny.

So I can get why she's attracted to him and why in a lot of ways they're a good fit as partners. But if you want kids (the life she says she was imagining), polyamory with a guy who's had a vasectomy seems like the wrong move.

I love her writing. I wish she didn't sound like she has accepted a shallower version of happiness than she deserves (I too would like an arrangement where I could do whatever TF I want, even if my solo road trip would not be to Florida, but my other responsibilities make that a nonstarter for the moment).

That guy is no catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world do women see in this nebbish?

He's a talented musician. He's a good storyteller. They met doing stand-up, and his show, "Now I'm Fine," was funny.

So I can get why she's attracted to him and why in a lot of ways they're a good fit as partners. But if you want kids (the life she says she was imagining), polyamory with a guy who's had a vasectomy seems like the wrong move.

I love her writing. I wish she didn't sound like she has accepted a shallower version of happiness than she deserves (I too would like an arrangement where I could do whatever TF I want, even if my solo road trip would not be to Florida, but my other responsibilities make that a nonstarter for the moment).

That guy is no catch.

Neither is she.

Stop being delusional. This man may not be good-looking, but he is much better looking than she is. She is shallow and is trying to justify her way into keeping a man who is not her match in looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to wonder if the NYT simply hates women. Why publish this harmful content?

Because she's a good writer and it's clickbait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chef's kiss to the husband for implying that monogamy is racist. Truly a master manipulator at the top of his craft. Respect.

A+.

Although he really could have excelled by explaining that monogamy is patriarchal. That one really resonates with insecure modern left wing women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chef's kiss to the husband for implying that monogamy is racist. Truly a master manipulator at the top of his craft. Respect.

All that for a fat chick. Manipulating purely for the love of the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world do women see in this nebbish?

He's a talented musician. He's a good storyteller. They met doing stand-up, and his show, "Now I'm Fine," was funny.

So I can get why she's attracted to him and why in a lot of ways they're a good fit as partners. But if you want kids (the life she says she was imagining), polyamory with a guy who's had a vasectomy seems like the wrong move.

I love her writing. I wish she didn't sound like she has accepted a shallower version of happiness than she deserves (I too would like an arrangement where I could do whatever TF I want, even if my solo road trip would not be to Florida, but my other responsibilities make that a nonstarter for the moment).

That guy is no catch.

Neither is she.

Stop being delusional. This man may not be good-looking, but he is much better looking than she is. She is shallow and is trying to justify her way into keeping a man who is not her match in looks.

Gross

[Anonymous]

If she wants to marry some loser (who then demands poly aka- HE gets to be poly with other women), and she wants to stay with him- then that's her business.

The only thing that caught my eye were the completely nonsense woke-isms she throws in to try and justify his gross behavior. That somehow monogamy is "colonialism" and that he is (of course) neurodivergent, and now all of a sudden uses they/them pronouns... it goes on and on. It even had a line that "as a progressive she should support poly".

All that part made no sense, but more power to her I guess.

[Anonymous]

Oof this just gets worse and worse. Apparently Aham has been in the comments on a bunch of Substacks talking about the book and just bullying people and being a jerk.

And then, all three of them (Lindy, Roya, and Aham) all wrote to the Scaachi Koul, who wrote a profile of Lindy around the release of this memoir. Here's the profile, I think it's empathetic and perfectly fair: https://slate.com/life/2026/03/lindy-west-polyamory-open-marriage-husband-roya.html

Lindy's and Roya's messages were critical but not aggressive. They clearly didn't like the profile and expressed that opinion, but in a fairly respectful way. But here's Aham's message:

This was such a s***** thing to do, Scaachi. You intentionally skewed the story to fit your own bitter narrative. You wasted my time and all of our time to write an article that was going to be the same no matter what we said. You absolutely dehumanized me and intentionally diminished my personhood and career. Roya and I were on a shared project in Boston. However you worded it. I was performing four shows at the Paramount and Roya is my producer. I am a person with a life and a great career and a complicated life. And you boiled me down to a cheater who was on a school project making a diorama or some s*** because you are mad about your life. You barely wrote about the book. You just wrote rage bait articles specifically designed to direct hate toward me. You are a s***** f****** person. You’re a bitter, untalented, mean girl and you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. You f****** suck.

Does that make everyone much more sympathetic to Aham and understanding as to why Lindy has chosen to stay in this marriage? He seems like a GREAT guy. Totally worth completely destroying all of you dreams for what a loving and respectful relationship looks like for.