Are we all school snobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

It’s odd you would think that way. Maybe because there are so many government workers in the area and there’s a lot of group think? Making a lot of assumptions.

Outside of the bubble, people who can pay full price for college or trade school don’t always base their decisions on feeding their egos. They look for what’s best for their child. NYC is full of artists of all kinds. Juilliard, NYU, Academy's for Acting, Ballet Schools, children of doctors included. They come from all over the world and typically don’t have money issues. There are plenty of AI jobs that don’t need a degree and pay well. The more talent the employee has the higher up they climb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

80 to 90K is a rounding error for us and I'm perfectly happy to "overpay" to support talented kids whose parents don't make 8 figures per year.

Same. You’d have to be a real Scrooge to be upset about a needy student getting financial using full pay money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

I'd love to hear why 25 is the magic number? Is there something lacking in:

UNC
UVA
USC
NYU
Tufts
BC
BU?

Why is 25 the magic number? And you didn't mention the top SLACs, at least 10 of which are as good as or better than any school in the top 25? Does that mean the number should be top 15?

Out of 4,000 schools in the country?

Many of the above are comparable or even better han the bottom of the 25. Stern and UVA for example.

OMG, no. Please stop.

You stop. It’s 100% fact.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My kid goes to a school with a high acceptance rate and I’m happy as a clam. I grew out of the need to impress others by my mid 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A thousand years ago, when I was an undergrad, I contemplated going for a PhD and pursuing a career in academia. I had a conversation with one of my favorite teachers, a brilliant, newly-minted PhD who I idolized -- and just happened to be in the thick of job hunting.

"Don't do it," he said. "There are no jobs. The Boomers are never going to retire, and the top schools aren't adding many jobs. You're going to get stuck at some random school in the midwest" -- just like he did, I guess. I later learned that he was hired by the University of Illinois before ending up at a university in Canada (where he was from.)

He had a point: Over the past 30 years, the number of PhDs awarded has significantly outpaced the growth in traditional, tenure-track academic teaching positions -- while Boomers have held on for a very long time in existing roles.

That's made it increasingly challenging for PhD's to find so-called "good" jobs -- but it's a boon for our kids: Well-trained, exceptionally-qualified, highly motivated, all-around-brilliant researchers and instructors are distributed at a much wider range of schools than there were when we were undergrads.

So it's not just that we were snobs then and now we're getting over it. In fact, the same pressures that making it so much harder now for kids to secure spots at the most selective schools also mean better teaching, higher-quality research, and more talented peer cohorts beyond a small subset of schools, as well.

A fair number of us leave academia and go into private industry where we can make real money. My plan is to return to the classroom when I retire, I miss teaching but not the rest of academia. My undergrad is one very few of you would know but my graduate school is well known.

I know plenty of people in their 40’s going back for a PhD. Either they are interested in a field and want to learn more or they think it will help their current career. Most of my friends from grad school are still working at Universities and love it.

As a parent, I’ll support DS attending whatever University he wants to go to. He’ll work more with his Professors at a less well known college than any of the top colleges. The TAs at most of the top schools are smart and excited to be at their school but they are not the ones you think will be teaching your kid at a top 25 school. Those professors tend to have grants and buy out their teaching time, you might get lucky and have one of them teach an upper level class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, once you've attended a top school, you realize how wonderful it is. It's terrible to say, but it is such a special 4-year bubble. The problem is those of us who went to a top school know this, and want the same for our kids, it's only natural. I am not being snotty at all, but once you know what's "behind the gates" it's hard to unknow it and not want that for your kid. If you walk around the UWS or UES of NYC on the weekends, you see these top 25 t-shirts on many...and they all have the best jobs in the major cities. It pays itself forward...

UWS/UES has more old money/legacy/donor. But there are also tons of low ranked T-shirts there. Hamilton, Colgate, Vassar. In fact, lots of NYU T-shirts.

Around Tribeca you will more diverse range of T-shirts.

NYU, low ranking? What if its for tisch, philosophy or stern???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

Nice UVA burn!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, once you've attended a top school, you realize how wonderful it is. It's terrible to say, but it is such a special 4-year bubble. The problem is those of us who went to a top school know this, and want the same for our kids, it's only natural. I am not being snotty at all, but once you know what's "behind the gates" it's hard to unknow it and not want that for your kid. If you walk around the UWS or UES of NYC on the weekends, you see these top 25 t-shirts on many...and they all have the best jobs in the major cities. It pays itself forward...

UWS/UES has more old money/legacy/donor. But there are also tons of low ranked T-shirts there. Hamilton, Colgate, Vassar. In fact, lots of NYU T-shirts.

Around Tribeca you will more diverse range of T-shirts.

NYU, low ranking? What if its for tisch, philosophy or stern???

In any case, NYU places among the top 25 universities by general selectivity:

Most Selective Colleges, College Transitions https://share.google/UTq4yczjGNl2EhTuR

[Anonymous]

DCUMAD is 95% school-snobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's even harder if you're from a culture/parents are from a country where everything is based on test scores and college rankings. People in my family STILL mention how well so-and-so did on the national college exam 50 years ago, and exactly what rank they were. DH and I were both double ivy-leaguers so it is hard to shake that. At the same time, I switched fields and jobs many times before I found the right fit. And I work with people from all walks of life who have found success--people who were in prison, who never finished high school, who are refugees from other countries and had to start again, or laid-off feds who have only ever worked at one agency. There are many paths to success and we are lucky that the U.S. is the sort of place where you can try a lot of options. As parents we need to become educated about all of those options, because a college degree--even from a prestigious institution--doesn't guarantee anything.

a lot of striver immigrant parents on here who didn't go to a good school. Getting their kids into top schools is to fulfill their own insecurities and it is pathetic.

While thats true, I do see many Ivy Leaguers who also are pushing their kids into Ivy schools. So no I don’t think its just the immigrants living vicariously through their kids. I do know several Ivy League grads who are in their 50’s and trying desperately for their kids to get into their Alma maters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, once you've attended a top school, you realize how wonderful it is. It's terrible to say, but it is such a special 4-year bubble. The problem is those of us who went to a top school know this, and want the same for our kids, it's only natural. I am not being snotty at all, but once you know what's "behind the gates" it's hard to unknow it and not want that for your kid. If you walk around the UWS or UES of NYC on the weekends, you see these top 25 t-shirts on many...and they all have the best jobs in the major cities. It pays itself forward...

UWS/UES has more old money/legacy/donor. But there are also tons of low ranked T-shirts there. Hamilton, Colgate, Vassar. In fact, lots of NYU T-shirts.

Around Tribeca you will more diverse range of T-shirts.

Nothing low ranked about Hamilton, Colgate, and Vassar. I know it hurts for you to hear it but they punch all day with the schools which you believe to be their betters.

This. Who disses Vassar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. I find the people most obsessed with where their kids go went to unimpressive schools themselves. The insecurity is sad. It’s like stage parents, college edition.

lol perfect description

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's even harder if you're from a culture/parents are from a country where everything is based on test scores and college rankings. People in my family STILL mention how well so-and-so did on the national college exam 50 years ago, and exactly what rank they were. DH and I were both double ivy-leaguers so it is hard to shake that. At the same time, I switched fields and jobs many times before I found the right fit. And I work with people from all walks of life who have found success--people who were in prison, who never finished high school, who are refugees from other countries and had to start again, or laid-off feds who have only ever worked at one agency. There are many paths to success and we are lucky that the U.S. is the sort of place where you can try a lot of options. As parents we need to become educated about all of those options, because a college degree--even from a prestigious institution--doesn't guarantee anything.

a lot of striver immigrant parents on here who didn't go to a good school. Getting their kids into top schools is to fulfill their own insecurities and it is pathetic.

Many went to IIT. They have nothing to be insecure about.

What the heck is IIT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. My kid goes to a school with a high acceptance rate and I’m happy as a clam. I grew out of the need to impress others by my mid 20s.

My DD visited 21 colleges over 3 years. She fell in love with Oxy and visited it twice. Realized it had everything she is looking for and she applied and is in with $25K merit. Easy peasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

80 to 90K is a rounding error for us and I'm perfectly happy to "overpay" to support talented kids whose parents don't make 8 figures per year.

Ha, yeah right. Whats your job? Kushner bro?