Are we all school snobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

I'd love to hear why 25 is the magic number? Is there something lacking in:

UNC
UVA
USC
NYU
Tufts
BC
BU?

Why is 25 the magic number? And you didn't mention the top SLACs, at least 10 of which are as good as or better than any school in the top 25? Does that mean the number should be top 15?

Out of 4,000 schools in the country?

Many of the above are comparable or even better han the bottom of the 25. Stern and UVA for example.

OMG, no. Please stop.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Why would anyone even consider a school not in the top 25??

I'm kidding obviously. It is sometimes baffling (not to mention very sad) to me how many posters on this board consider any kid who isn't applying to a Top 25 as a complete failure. There are so many schools out there, and each kid is different. One size definitely does not fit all.

There's also no way every person on this board (who also wants their kid at a Top 25) went to a Top 25 themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a sizable minority of us, including me, are recovering school snobs. We went to elite schools ourselves, and that’s been a big part of our identities, but it’s not the right path for some of our kids. So here we are, working it out.

This is so much me. And my husband. Having kids go through the college process recently really burst my narcissism bubble on this topic. (It still rears its ugly head from time to time)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

My dentist’s sons all go to instate universities and are doing great. Years ago, I was surprised when he told me his oldest was going there. Alas, present day, my son is at our instate university. I think I was a bit of a college snob, but can’t deny the price differences between state and some of the other ones he was admitted to; he’s happy and doing well.

[Anonymous]

It’s your bubble, OP. We are local and proudly tell everyone our kid is going to a tech school. This wasn’t a financial or academic decision. He had a high UW GPA and we could be full pay at most schools. He’s doing it because he wants to and we think it is a wonderful career choice, which can lead to a very lucrative career. It’s what he wants to do. He has a long term plan of opening his own business.

This isn’t the DCUM bubble, it’s your friends.

[Anonymous]

9:10. And adding to my post above, I went to a fancy high ranked school, DH did not. I hated it. The one thing we have in common is that neither of us particularly enjoyed the college years and just thought of them as a time to get a degree.

We tell our kids to not idolize any school, because they don’t need to be that adult who’s still talking about where they went to college decades later. No one really cares. It’s only a few years and there’s a lot of life after college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a sizable minority of us, including me, are recovering school snobs. We went to elite schools ourselves, and that’s been a big part of our identities, but it’s not the right path for some of our kids. So here we are, working it out.

+100. And Northeastern geography snobs. There’s a big world outside the Northeast.

[Anonymous]

I’m a recovering school snob but one thing that’s helping me get over it is seeing just how many friends and acquaintances who attended Ivies, SLAC’s etc. and enthusiastically sending their kids to state flagships and lesser known private colleges. There’s a lot more out there than what we were exposed to/had access to 30-40 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Above poster- “are enthusiastically”

[Anonymous]

The most competitive and anxious parents I have found are the ones that they themselves did not go to T25 but sent their kids to private HS and paid for expensive activities and private college counselors and want their kids to go to Ivy/ Ivy +

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s your bubble, OP. We are local and proudly tell everyone our kid is going to a tech school. This wasn’t a financial or academic decision. He had a high UW GPA and we could be full pay at most schools. He’s doing it because he wants to and we think it is a wonderful career choice, which can lead to a very lucrative career. It’s what he wants to do. He has a long term plan of opening his own business.

This isn’t the DCUM bubble, it’s your friends.

It is mostly dcum bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

I know, right? I was surprised to learn that some of my doctors' kids are going to Clemson, JMU, VCU and another lower ranked small college in PA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think the majority of posters on this sub-forum are school snobs, myself included. But I will say that my views have changed significantly over the years. My older kids went to top and tippy top schools. They’ve done great, but I don’t necessarily feel like the grind was worth it, and the education wasn’t more impressive compared to mine at a lower ranked school.

My much younger youngest got a 1510 on his junior year PSAT, so will presumably be a NMSF. He asked what I thought about him going to Alabama on a full ride and investing the 529 funds we’ve saved for him vs. trying for an elite school. I do not dismiss this idea out of hand at all.

My son is a NMF and chose Alabama for the full ride over Purdue, VT, Case Western, and Northeastern.

He’s doing well so far and always has the option to transfer if he wants to later or pursue his graduate degree at a more elite school. I know first hand how important connections can be in landing internships and jobs. I’ll be able to help him there so I’m not worried about his prospects after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

What about those of us who don't even notice $90K/yr. I don't need to justify it because it's a minor expense. And, sense we have been paying for private school since DC was 5 the incremental isn't enough to even be noticed. Are we not making a practical decision based on our circumstances?

this. I make more in stock gains alone for two full pay kids (x2, at least). the idea I'd tell my kid not to go to a 95k a year school and instead go to a 40k a year school - that thinking isn't relevant to me. I get it is for most, but there are many people who make this in a month.

[Anonymous]

Two factors may be at play.

-your doctor's kids are neurodiverse or have mental health issues or have some other extenuating circumstance that makes an apprenticeship or community college the right choice for them

-the generation after a successful one doesn't have the same drive of their parents. I knew there was 1 way out of my rural and depressed hometown- college. My kids have had a cushy life and are making their college choices based on "vibes", without any worry for their safety net. I had no safety net. Some kids are riding along life with the subconscious knowledge that their dad is a doctor and there's no panic built in them about where they go. It's all going to be fine for them. This isn't a knock. It's just human nature, for them and like it was for me.