Are we all school snobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

I'd love to hear why 25 is the magic number? Is there something lacking in:

UNC
UVA
USC
NYU
Tufts
BC
BU?

Why is 25 the magic number? And you didn't mention the top SLACs, at least 10 of which are as good as or better than any school in the top 25? Does that mean the number should be top 15?

Out of 4,000 schools in the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

What about those of us who don't even notice $90K/yr. I don't need to justify it because it's a minor expense. And, sense we have been paying for private school since DC was 5 the incremental isn't enough to even be noticed. Are we not making a practical decision based on our circumstances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

I don’t think I need my head examined lol. I’m so sorry you didn’t have the opportunity to access the type of education that would have allowed you to be open to other viewpoints and taught you to disagree respectfully.

[Anonymous]

We are paying for UMiami full pay and have no regrets. DC actually got into schools "higher ranked" too but they wanted UM. Sorry if that bothers you.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids. One is likely going to be able to go to a "top 25" school. The other is bright but not on that track. If we decide that an expensive school is the best environment for them, we will spend the money. We are not filthy rich, but it is not a huge imposition for us.

Part of the reason we might choose to do this is to avoid having that child go to school with all of the children of all of the know-it-alls like some posters here who have different priorities and values than we do. This thread and others on DCUM reinforce that belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bubbles are suffocating. Pop the one you're in and get some fresh air.

I know families where there are kids who don't go to college, where kids who go press pause and drop out, and those that eschew prestige for convenience (state school near home). DCUM seems to have swallowed whole what brand name universities have been selling to them.

I work at a company where colleagues have gone to colleges spanning schools I've never heard of to well known R1 and private/ivy league schools. But we all ultimately report to our CEO that went to Penn State (not U Penn, but Penn State). The Harvard guy reports to the Penn State guy. Once you're out in the work world years and decades, your job title matters much more than the logo on your BA/BS degree.

+1

[Anonymous]

I guess we are lucky.

With engineering, the "rank" of a school does not matter as much as it seems to matter for some other degrees.

[Anonymous]

I went to a good school and currently find myself unemployed at 48 for almost 10 months.

There are no guarantees in life.

My kid barely got into college, tried it for a year, failed out, and currently is working in the field she was aiming for anyway with no degree. I mean, she’s employed and paying some of her own expenses (not all, but she’s 19) She likely will go back and get a specialized degree at the community college level.

Searching for a college for her opened my eyes to exactly how many options were out there. This area is such a pressure cooker and I grew up thinking college or die, basically (I was in the top 10 at a college prep school in another state) I looked at so many schools across the country for her and fell in love with some schools most on this board have never heard of and/or would never even consider. But I truly enjoyed the journey, even though in the end, college wasn’t really her path.

So, yes, I definitely think this board and this area is a particularly strange bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a good school and currently find myself unemployed at 48 for almost 10 months.

There are no guarantees in life.

My kid barely got into college, tried it for a year, failed out, and currently is working in the field she was aiming for anyway with no degree. I mean, she’s employed and paying some of her own expenses (not all, but she’s 19) She likely will go back and get a specialized degree at the community college level.

Searching for a college for her opened my eyes to exactly how many options were out there. This area is such a pressure cooker and I grew up thinking college or die, basically (I was in the top 10 at a college prep school in another state) I looked at so many schools across the country for her and fell in love with some schools most on this board have never heard of and/or would never even consider. But I truly enjoyed the journey, even though in the end, college wasn’t really her path.

So, yes, I definitely think this board and this area is a particularly strange bubble.

I am a school snob. Without a doubt. But I also appreciate and respect your story and give you a lot of credit for being smart about it. You did your homework and figured out what is best for your child. Makes a lot of sense to me. College is not for everyone, and "elite colleges" are not necessary for every career path. And there are lots of important, meaningful career paths one can pursue without going to college and/or without going to elite colleges. In fact, I would argue that many of the most important careers, such as teaching and nursing, don't require fancy degrees.

People should know themselves and their kids and have confidence in their decisions.

[Anonymous]

I think a sizable minority of us, including me, are recovering school snobs. We went to elite schools ourselves, and that’s been a big part of our identities, but it’s not the right path for some of our kids. So here we are, working it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

I'd love to hear why 25 is the magic number? Is there something lacking in:

UNC
UVA
USC
NYU
Tufts
BC
BU?

Why is 25 the magic number? And you didn't mention the top SLACs, at least 10 of which are as good as or better than any school in the top 25? Does that mean the number should be top 15?

Out of 4,000 schools in the country?

Many of the above are comparable or even better han the bottom of the 25. Stern and UVA for example.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s because parents in DC—and especially on this board—are too busy with their soul-sucking but high earning careers to actually spend time raising their children. So they put them in private schools and consider getting into a top college as proof that in the end they weren’t shitty parents. Which, of course, it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

Bingo. This forum seems to have the highest number of completely insecure, delusional parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many posters are caught in a bubble. I recently switched doctors, and my new doctor mentioned that one of his kids didn’t go to college at all and is instead doing an apprenticeship. That surprised me, since you’d assume a doctor’s child would be aiming for a top college. Another one of his kids did get into highly ranked schools but chose to start at Montgomery College because he didn’t think paying $80–90k per year was justified.

Outside of the DCUM bubble, it seems like more people are making practical, level-headed decisions as college costs continue to skyrocket. A lot of the school snobbery you see is really just people trying to justify the expense and feed their own egos.

Correct. Those who think 80-90k/yr is justified need to get their head examined. Unless they feel it’s fair to be overpaying so that others can attend at lower/no cost — because that is how this works.

80 to 90K is a rounding error for us and I'm perfectly happy to "overpay" to support talented kids whose parents don't make 8 figures per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us, but there are a disproportionate subset of people here that seem dead set committed on justifying spending 5 years to curate perfect kids so they can pay large sums to attend a school that impresses their friends.

What’s worse is paying large sums of money to attend schools not in the top 25.

Some would say it’s the top 10.