Do families host neighborhood parties anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I only invite wives and kids. This started because my now-ex was antisocial and a jerk, and the other men in the neighborhood only socialize with certain couples or are raging alcoholics. Or both.

I think people are really clannish these days and weird about going to a gathering of a broad group of people. They either want to socialize only with their closest friends from college or their giant extended family, or they want to be home with just their immediate family. It’s tough for people like me who have a small nuclear family and want to fill the house like the olden days.

I think modern invite expectations and evite/paperless post is also a problem. I throw parties with broad invitation lists, so it’s interesting to watch the RSVPs. If too many “randos” RSVP early on, more connected people or people with social capital will all reply no. When 1-2 people who are in key social groups say yes, the rest follow with a yes like sheep. It could be a coincidence but it’s happened too many times. I’ve tried hiding the invite list but then no one says yes.

I mean, why are you surprised by this? I am much more likely to go a friend's party if I know OTHER friends will be there. Because the host is normally very busy! So if it's a bunch if your random friends and my family, that's not fun. If it's just us and the host family, then I know the host won't be too busy to hang and I'd go. Knowing who to mix in well with a party is a KEY part to throwing a good party....

If my friend, who I presumably care about, is going to the trouble of throwing a party I'm going to go whether or not I think it will be "fun." If I have a party I invite people I really like and hope for the best that they will mix well. If a friend declined my invitation because her other friends won't be there I'd feel like she wasn't truly a friend.
I guess I take friendship more seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved into a new subdivision when it was getting built out. There are only 50 houses total, so most of the homeowners at least knew one another by seeing them around. This was about 10 years ago.

One neighbor always hosted an end of school and back to school party each year, which made sense for the age of the kids in the neighborhood. They were a ton of fun, but as the kids have gone off the college, less young kids in the neighborhood. This same neighbor does host a smaller Christmas get together that we go to.

Before COVID, we hosted a Christmas party every year that included many neighbors, but also many of our other friends as well.

Another neighbor will have at least one summer party each year - they have a great backyard for hosting - it's flat, nice pool, patio, etc.

That was us...with one of those sometimes turning into a Halloween Party instead. But with our youngest now a Senior in HS, those days are gone and the 160-house neighborhood hasn't turned over enough to pick it back up with the "next" generation.

Not sad though. And we're not really friends with our neighbors....just that we're good/happy/content neighbors who definitely help each other out -- with kids, elders, car repair dropoffs, snow, newspapers (yes, some still get it delivered and the ES kids giggle and race to see who can transfer it directly from the street to the front door). We have their kids and parents phone numbers and check in when appropriate. There's no Listserv or NextDoor and we all kinda like it that way. We'll miss it when we down-size in <5yrs.

[Anonymous]

I think the key thing that you may be forgetting... is how boring it was to an adult when we were little.

There was no internet and endless online social outlets, no texting friends or facetiming relatives, no watching every sports event going on throughout the country, no monitoring every sports game score, no every song ever invented at your fingertips, no online porn lol, no dating apps, no every movie and tv show ever created at your fingertips with hundreds of new items constantly coming up. Also, if an adult wasn't at work there was no laptop or cell phone they felt like they needed to keep checking. There was no work outside of work.

Adults had... reading and watching Dallas. lol. But seriously, adults sought out other adults for company because there was NOTHING else to do. Hanging out with other adults eating pretzels and drinking miller lite while the kids run off and entertain each other might be the social highlight of your week!

I feel like the internet has drastically changed all of this. That's the real reason things are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the key thing that you may be forgetting... is how boring it was to an adult when we were little.

There was no internet and endless online social outlets, no texting friends or facetiming relatives, no watching every sports event going on throughout the country, no monitoring every sports game score, no every song ever invented at your fingertips, no online porn lol, no dating apps, no every movie and tv show ever created at your fingertips with hundreds of new items constantly coming up. Also, if an adult wasn't at work there was no laptop or cell phone they felt like they needed to keep checking. There was no work outside of work.

Adults had... reading and watching Dallas. lol. But seriously, adults sought out other adults for company because there was NOTHING else to do. Hanging out with other adults eating pretzels and drinking miller lite while the kids run off and entertain each other might be the social highlight of your week!

I feel like the internet has drastically changed all of this. That's the real reason things are different.

Really? I mean, I love being able to binge a good show, but the internet hasn't changed my desire for in-person interaction. I'm 46, not sure if that matters. But I don't feel less like seeing my friends than I did in high school. I don't do social media, so maybe that's the issue?

[Anonymous]

I feel like "get your smartphone out of my house". No good comes of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Live in a neighborhood w a lot of wealth and big homes. My neighbors are not throwing big parties or group gatherings more than once or twice a year. It’s so strange to me.

When you hosted, how many people came?

OP here: 30-40 people each time. About 80% of the people we invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Live in a neighborhood w a lot of wealth and big homes. My neighbors are not throwing big parties or group gatherings more than once or twice a year. It’s so strange to me.

We live in a neighborhood with wealth and big homes. People are having parties but they are not necessarily inviting neighbors they don’t know well.

We are having a big Super Bowl party this weekend. We are not inviting any neighbors.

The houses in our neighborhood are spread out. Our next door neighbors are empty nesters and we have 3 kids. The bad thing about the kids in our neighborhood is that most kids attend different private schools so not only are the houses spread out, the kids don’t even attend the same school.