I just sold the handbags I once kept for financial security

[Anonymous]

If only you put that level of forethought into you married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would the money have less value to you if it didn't come in "like actual cash in five thick envelopes full of 100s plus a fat check"? Or did you just think we're too dumb to understand what 70K means unless you help us visualize it?

I'll tell you what I told the Jewelry OP, who did the same thing. You would have been so much better off buying tech stocks 20 years ago at a different bank. You're not factoring in inflation here in your pricing.

Real money in modern society is not in clothes or jewels. We're not living in huts and wearing our family's entire fortune on our person.

I actually got excited by fat envelopes full of cash because I don't have a car to get to ATMs or banks anymore. I miss cash.

I was like CASH!! But then it's just like a check and now I have to uber to the bank tomorrow to deposit it.

I miss cash in terms of being able to give tips, mostly.

I would have been able to do better to buy tech stocks 20 years ago but I think we did that. Like I have a pile of 100 statements piling up all the time because we have investment accounts for all of our kids.

I just sold some stuff today that was in my closet and I wasn't paying attention to because you're right, you are very correct, stuff I had is just not relevant today.

I guess you can get mad at me for agreeing with you but ... I'm agreeing with you

Ya'll ... this ^^ is not real. We are just getting messed with.

Yeah, I don't see how an ex-husband could keep you from getting a car.

[Anonymous]

When you are hiding bags to sell for money to get one over on a spouse, you have to wonder what the spouse hid from you.

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused. You have all these designer bags, yet no car? How? You don’t have any money in your own name or a vehicle that in your own name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. You have all these designer bags, yet no car? How? You don’t have any money in your own name or a vehicle that in your own name?

+1
Thanks OP for coming back. I'm not sure if it's helpful each time or more confusing but we'll get through this together.
Do you work now? Do you get child payments? Are you on your DH's health insurance for your cancer treatments?

Are you self-medicating in some way?

Are your kids in college nearby or working nearby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. You have all these designer bags, yet no car? How? You don’t have any money in your own name or a vehicle that in your own name?

+1
Thanks OP for coming back. I'm not sure if it's helpful each time or more confusing but we'll get through this together.
Do you work now? Do you get child payments? Are you on your DH's health insurance for your cancer treatments?

Are you self-medicating in some way?

Are your kids in college nearby or working nearby?

I think kids are adults, college aged, and OP isn’t actually divorced, still married but separated. Which makes it all the more odd.

[Anonymous]

The birkins sold for 20% less than their value

Like 80%

[Anonymous]

OP: I put 70K the other day into my bank account in my name only

I wasn’t carrying those bags, bought them years ago

I’m not divorced

[Anonymous]

Sold them to someone I have known for decades in person, got cash and checks.

I am not a very important person. I’m just basically saying how things get sold sometimes.

I might not be buying a car anytime soon because I go elsewhere so seldom I could just do uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I put 70K the other day into my bank account in my name only

I wasn’t carrying those bags, bought them years ago

I’m not divorced

Good for you, OP! I hope things work out for you and your health improves. If you’re still legally married, buy yourself a new car if you need it. Then if you don’t need it, give it to your kids. It sounds like you can afford this. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP! I hope you kick cancer's ass. I'd never want my daughter to be in your shoes as far as your relationship situation, but I'm glad you're able to have a positive outlook on things despite your husband's running around with his young coworker.

And I think you should not buy a car but instead just Uber and get things delivered. Cars cost so much money to maintain (insurance, gas, repairs, registration, taxes if in VA, parking tickets, parking costs, etc...) that it usually makes more financial sense to just pay someone else to drive you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I put 70K the other day into my bank account in my name only

I wasn’t carrying those bags, bought them years ago

I’m not divorced

OK, so that bank account is marital property. And “your” car is marital property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband didn't even notice them in the divorce. They were "beneath" his notice

I just sold like 10 of them for 70K cash, my ex's earlier professional partner flew up from Palm Beach with her husband to have me clean out my closet. They took boxes and sleepers.

Like actual cash in five thick envelopes full of 100s plus a fat check. No profits over time, but I did just sell them for within 20% of what I paid 20+ years ago.

Hermes kellys and birkins

I used to keep them for a financial anchor in the future, today has turned out to be the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t buy it. You don’t some the kind of money it takes to acquire 10 Hermes bags without your husband noticing.

OP didn't say he didn't know, she said he overlooked the value of the bags. He might not have not that these things hold value.

I understand, I’m just saying I don’t believe that. I promise I know what my wife’s Hermes bags are worth and I’d never ignore them in a divorce.

I know two women who were so desperate to get out that they didn't fight for any financial stability for themselves. One has struggled over the years--she lives in a very rural area, she could buy a house cheap but opportunities were otherwise limited. The other had a decent white color job but lives in fear her wealthy ex will try to cut off her access to their son, and keeps her relationships very secret on that account. I know another who spent two years buying furniture and stocking up on household supplies she kept in a storage unit (telling her husband groceries and things just kept going up when he questioned her spending) so when she left she at least had everything she needed to set up her own household.

I'm guessing OP didn't buy them solely as an anchor, she probably used them. Or maybe she didn't have much latitude in what she could spend money on to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I put 70K the other day into my bank account in my name only

I wasn’t carrying those bags, bought them years ago

I’m not divorced

OK, so that bank account is marital property. And “your” car is marital property.

We’re still waiting for insurance to process everything, supposedly because I took such good care of the car our daughter crashed that it’s still worth 50% of value. I think ex-DH is counting on that check to pay for any new car for her.

I’m still thinking of not having any car ever again. Except one time I thought about those cool little European vehicles that only hold 2 passengers.

This might be my time to do that, I’m kind of into the idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I worked matrimonial law in Palm Beach, FL, if the wives felt their husbands were about to divorce they'd start buying tons of designer clothes, stash them unworn at a friend's house, then after the divorce sell them at high end consignment stores for the cash.

Is this a good strategy? Any other tips?