In laws are picky eaters but act like they are not

[Anonymous]

My MIL only wants to eat chicken. My FIL refuses to eat any chicken that's on a bone. So that leaves us with with one meal option: boneless, skinless chicken. Then guess what? It's too dry.

So yeah, I hear you.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read the other replies but my ILs are the same.

We do: roast chicken, pot roast, steaks or chicken on the grill. All with potatoes and vegetables usually.

At least it is fairly easy?

Pretty common issue IMHO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So? Is this your first time meeting them or something?

Ha! This.

[Anonymous]

My mom is like this but passive aggressive about it. So she'll say "I'm easy, I'll eat whatever" and then she'll spend the entire meal delicately picking her food apart to remove offending ingredients, nibbling at it with an upset expression on her face, or sighing loudly and saying stuff like "I just really prefer the burgers at that restaurant that used to be out on Highway 3, but it closed."

The one good thing about this is that when you know they are going to be unhappy no matter what you choose, you can just ignore them and choose what you want. When you offer them the chance to pick and they decline, you've done your part.

I've also had friends like this and, oh oops, they aren't my friends anymore. Some people are high maintenance as a test to see how much they can get people cater to them and I am not interested in taking that test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

So let him get his own food, or tell him to not eat the jalapeños. I wouldn't have any patience for adults who act like babies.

Well, generally he does get his own food or pick off the jalapenos. I don't cook that much. But there are only two of us, and I don't really feel like cooking something elaborate if he isn't going to eat it because it has mushrooms or whatever. Which can be frustrating when I see a recipe in the NYT that looks good. And I don't really feel like spending hundreds at Morton's for Valentine's Day if he doesn't like steak, but then there's a big think about where else to go.

I think some of you are not getting how it can be frustrating to deal with people who are picky eaters, but don't own up to it.

Having three or four or even five food preferences does not make someone a "picky eater". You also have preferences, but seem to be in charge of meals, so you already accommodate your preferences when reading through the NYT for recipes that "sound good". It sounds like your DH "has" owned up to them, if you can rattle off the preferences. Are there really no nights when he is out of town when you could eat mushrooms?

To me a picky eater is someone who will only eat five or six foods. So yes, that would be a problem.

You have a very narrow definition of "picky eater."

[Anonymous]

People need to learn what it actually means to be "easy" when it comes to food.

It does NOT mean you have no preferences or that you will eat literally anything. What it does mean is that you are adaptable and can figure out something to eat most places.

That's me. I would consider myself a picky eater, especially compared to my spouse who is a very adventurous eater. But I can eat just about anywhere because I've specifically cultivated "safe" foods in virtually any genre. Like I don't love seafood but I've learned to like crab cakes and certain lobster dishes so that I can go out for seafood. I have my go-tos at sushi restaurants even though I'm not going to eat sashimi or something. Sometimes spice bothers me so I've learned which items at Indian restaurants tend to have gentler spice profiles. And so on. It's actually not that hard. It is really, really rare that I turn down a restaurant because I can't eat anything there.

The thing I run into with other picky eaters is that they have the expectation that others will accommodate them. So if they don't like steak, they will never go to a steakhouse. But I'm like -- just go and order something other than steak, there are always options. My dad can't eat steak anymore because he has issues with his teeth, but he'll go and order soup and salad and bread and be very happy. That's what it means to be adaptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People need to learn what it actually means to be "easy" when it comes to food.

It does NOT mean you have no preferences or that you will eat literally anything. What it does mean is that you are adaptable and can figure out something to eat most places.

That's me. I would consider myself a picky eater, especially compared to my spouse who is a very adventurous eater. But I can eat just about anywhere because I've specifically cultivated "safe" foods in virtually any genre. Like I don't love seafood but I've learned to like crab cakes and certain lobster dishes so that I can go out for seafood. I have my go-tos at sushi restaurants even though I'm not going to eat sashimi or something. Sometimes spice bothers me so I've learned which items at Indian restaurants tend to have gentler spice profiles. And so on. It's actually not that hard. It is really, really rare that I turn down a restaurant because I can't eat anything there.

The thing I run into with other picky eaters is that they have the expectation that others will accommodate them. So if they don't like steak, they will never go to a steakhouse. But I'm like -- just go and order something other than steak, there are always options. My dad can't eat steak anymore because he has issues with his teeth, but he'll go and order soup and salad and bread and be very happy. That's what it means to be adaptable.

I think you're on to something. I think it's funny that the people who want the spicy food get mad when they can't serve spicy food to the people who don't like spice and then get put out about it like they have nothing else in their repertoire. As if they are picky themselves and only like one type of food and can't adapt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

So let him get his own food, or tell him to not eat the jalapeños. I wouldn't have any patience for adults who act like babies.

Well, generally he does get his own food or pick off the jalapenos. I don't cook that much. But there are only two of us, and I don't really feel like cooking something elaborate if he isn't going to eat it because it has mushrooms or whatever. Which can be frustrating when I see a recipe in the NYT that looks good. And I don't really feel like spending hundreds at Morton's for Valentine's Day if he doesn't like steak, but then there's a big think about where else to go.

I think some of you are not getting how it can be frustrating to deal with people who are picky eaters, but don't own up to it.

Having three or four or even five food preferences does not make someone a "picky eater". You also have preferences, but seem to be in charge of meals, so you already accommodate your preferences when reading through the NYT for recipes that "sound good". It sounds like your DH "has" owned up to them, if you can rattle off the preferences. Are there really no nights when he is out of town when you could eat mushrooms?

To me a picky eater is someone who will only eat five or six foods. So yes, that would be a problem.

You have a very narrow definition of "picky eater."

Yeah that's ARFID.

[Anonymous]

My dad is not picky at all but the list of foods that bothers his autoimmune disease is like…everything. He can’t have red meat, wheat, starch, rice/grain, potato, sugar, salt, spice/pepper, fat, etc and it really does cause him pain when he goes off diet. Feeding him is impossible! And I can’t feed him anything that tastes good. He’s coming to visit next week and I’m already stressing about the food because I am actually a really good cook and he likes everything he shouldn’t eat. Love him so much, though, but if anyone has ideas I’m all ears. Going out is an absolute no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So? Is this your first time meeting them or something?

Stop being nasty and move on if you have nothing to contribute.

[Anonymous]

OP, I beat you at the picky ILs.
My ILs will select items off a menu, then specify changes and substitutions to actual item. E.g. Hamberger entre - no bun, no lettuce, no tomato, just the beef patty, medium rare. And they carried their own cans of Diet Coke. At a high end restaurant, FIL ordered Miller Lite. These are people who have no problem spending any amount of funds on a meal but they really somehow need to control the event. Even the grandkids found it noticeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I beat you at the picky ILs.
My ILs will select items off a menu, then specify changes and substitutions to actual item. E.g. Hamberger entre - no bun, no lettuce, no tomato, just the beef patty, medium rare. And they carried their own cans of Diet Coke. At a high end restaurant, FIL ordered Miller Lite. These are people who have no problem spending any amount of funds on a meal but they really somehow need to control the event. Even the grandkids found it noticeable.

I forgot to mention, that restaurant where FIL asked for Miller Lite did not carry Miller Lite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think by easy they mean they eat (what they consider, and per their culture) just " regular food." Just as I'd assume an Indian MIL who says she's easy means she eats the standard Indian dishes.

where did you get that idea?

[Anonymous]

my ILs are like that too. so now i make my DH figure out food when they visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is “easy” to host people who like “normal” American things so I’m sure that’s what they mean. It’s easy to find TGIFridays, Applebee’s, a diner, a burger joint…

But OP wants to show off her superior culinary preferences, and they’re not cooperating!

But OP and her family don’t want to eat garbage!