In laws are picky eaters but act like they are not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, because my Dad is an extremely picky eater, but at least he “owns it” and we can plan around it.

That being said? You and DH know, by now, what they will and will not actually eat. So make a basic plan for their visits.

Think of the top 3 make-at-home meals you know they’ll eat, and think of the top 3 order-out meals or restaurant meals you know they’ll eat. Bam! You now have your plan forevermore.

Like, what are you even doing looking at different restaurant menus, etc.? You know by now. I can rattle off 3 takeout restaurants my dad will order from, and what he’ll order. Why are you playing games?

Do your thinking, do your research, now you have your plans.

You whining about knowing full well what will and will not work for them, despite what they say, is as useless and annoying as them saying they’re easy but then being picky.

We do thus, but were finding something from a specific geographic location as DH was dropping off DS at a friend's house 25 min away and picking up on his drive back. And I had hoped a diner would suffice but my FIL complained that the food wouldn't travel well.

Come off it. You know what’s always around? McDonald’s.

Plus, DH was returning to your house, correct? You don’t live in a food desert, do you? And if for some reason (I’m sure you’ll list a quickly made-up excuse) you couldn’t pick up food yourself, it’s called DoorDash.

You wanted to complain about your ILs. Fine. But admit this was just a vent and not actually a problem. Because feeding picky people is actually quite easy when they are picky in a predictable, never-changing, “all-American” way. As if you can’t make spaghetti at home. As if you can’t use Uber Eats. Come off it.

OP is extremely annoying.

You posters who think women should be doormats to their ils are the worst.

It would be doormat scenario if they were demanding, elaborate, expensive meal. My goodness, get a Stouffer’s lasagna, a bag salad and STFU.

+1. Also, there is a far stretch between being a doormat and just simply observing/understanding how older people are. Many like simple meals. Have some bread and deli meat on hand, cans of soup, etc. Learn what they like and have it available, and get the takeout you prefer. As long as you’re offering them a couple options, you’re being hospitable. That’s going to work way better than showing them a bunch of takeout menus and expecting a quick decision.

[Anonymous]

Oh, another pro tip. Next time you’re at the in laws’ house, notice what’s in their pantry, fridge and freezer. Keep a couple of those things handy. My MIL actually has done the same for our kids - she always has their favorite fruits, freezer waffles/nuggets (same brand they like), snacks, etc. because she sees them in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs too. And in their minds they are easy. Something like burgers and potato salad and pie is fine for them. As opposed to my father who can't have sugar or salt. Or my cousin who is allergic to garlic and onions. Theyre not easy at all.
But if I try to mix it up they are not happy. I have done completely normal stuff like a taco bar and ...no.

Well, taco bars are gross.

Well, no, they aren't. What do you even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After dealing with difficult inlaws for half a lifetime, I'm to the point that they get tough love. If they cant figure out what they want to eat after a half hour, I shut them down fast and tell them I'm going to order something because we aren't going to wait.

You have created this situation by placing your guests in a weird position. When I host people, I try to serve food that they will like, but I don't ask them to choose it. Why have you wasted half a lifetime doing this, and then being snippy? Just create some menus and use them every time. Cook yourself or take out. Not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs too. And in their minds they are easy. Something like burgers and potato salad and pie is fine for them. As opposed to my father who can't have sugar or salt. Or my cousin who is allergic to garlic and onions. Theyre not easy at all.
But if I try to mix it up they are not happy. I have done completely normal stuff like a taco bar and ...no.

Well, taco bars are gross.

Well, no, they aren't. What do you even mean?

A taco bar is basically a deconstructed hamburger with many of the same ingredients. If they like the hamburgers on a bun over the ground beef in a tortilla then just do that. Who is the picky eater now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs too. And in their minds they are easy. Something like burgers and potato salad and pie is fine for them. As opposed to my father who can't have sugar or salt. Or my cousin who is allergic to garlic and onions. Theyre not easy at all.
But if I try to mix it up they are not happy. I have done completely normal stuff like a taco bar and ...no.

Well, taco bars are gross.

Well, no, they aren't. What do you even mean?

Greasy ground meat mixed with some spice mix, nasty taco shells…shudder.

[Anonymous]

Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, because my Dad is an extremely picky eater, but at least he “owns it” and we can plan around it.

That being said? You and DH know, by now, what they will and will not actually eat. So make a basic plan for their visits.

Think of the top 3 make-at-home meals you know they’ll eat, and think of the top 3 order-out meals or restaurant meals you know they’ll eat. Bam! You now have your plan forevermore.

Like, what are you even doing looking at different restaurant menus, etc.? You know by now. I can rattle off 3 takeout restaurants my dad will order from, and what he’ll order. Why are you playing games?

Do your thinking, do your research, now you have your plans.

You whining about knowing full well what will and will not work for them, despite what they say, is as useless and annoying as them saying they’re easy but then being picky.

We do thus, but were finding something from a specific geographic location as DH was dropping off DS at a friend's house 25 min away and picking up on his drive back. And I had hoped a diner would suffice but my FIL complained that the food wouldn't travel well.

Come off it. You know what’s always around? McDonald’s.

Plus, DH was returning to your house, correct? You don’t live in a food desert, do you? And if for some reason (I’m sure you’ll list a quickly made-up excuse) you couldn’t pick up food yourself, it’s called DoorDash.

You wanted to complain about your ILs. Fine. But admit this was just a vent and not actually a problem. Because feeding picky people is actually quite easy when they are picky in a predictable, never-changing, “all-American” way. As if you can’t make spaghetti at home. As if you can’t use Uber Eats. Come off it.

OP is extremely annoying.

You posters who think women should be doormats to their ils are the worst.

+1

And I think they are boomer ILs themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, another pro tip. Next time you’re at the in laws’ house, notice what’s in their pantry, fridge and freezer. Keep a couple of those things handy. My MIL actually has done the same for our kids - she always has their favorite fruits, freezer waffles/nuggets (same brand they like), snacks, etc. because she sees them in our house.

This would require actually caring about one's in-laws, which I don't think OP has done so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, another pro tip. Next time you’re at the in laws’ house, notice what’s in their pantry, fridge and freezer. Keep a couple of those things handy. My MIL actually has done the same for our kids - she always has their favorite fruits, freezer waffles/nuggets (same brand they like), snacks, etc. because she sees them in our house.

This would require actually caring about one's in-laws, which I don't think OP has done so far.

Says the nightmare IL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

So let him get his own food, or tell him to not eat the jalapeños. I wouldn't have any patience for adults who act like babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, because my Dad is an extremely picky eater, but at least he “owns it” and we can plan around it.

That being said? You and DH know, by now, what they will and will not actually eat. So make a basic plan for their visits.

Think of the top 3 make-at-home meals you know they’ll eat, and think of the top 3 order-out meals or restaurant meals you know they’ll eat. Bam! You now have your plan forevermore.

Like, what are you even doing looking at different restaurant menus, etc.? You know by now. I can rattle off 3 takeout restaurants my dad will order from, and what he’ll order. Why are you playing games?

Do your thinking, do your research, now you have your plans.

You whining about knowing full well what will and will not work for them, despite what they say, is as useless and annoying as them saying they’re easy but then being picky.

We do thus, but were finding something from a specific geographic location as DH was dropping off DS at a friend's house 25 min away and picking up on his drive back. And I had hoped a diner would suffice but my FIL complained that the food wouldn't travel well.

Come off it. You know what’s always around? McDonald’s.

Plus, DH was returning to your house, correct? You don’t live in a food desert, do you? And if for some reason (I’m sure you’ll list a quickly made-up excuse) you couldn’t pick up food yourself, it’s called DoorDash.

You wanted to complain about your ILs. Fine. But admit this was just a vent and not actually a problem. Because feeding picky people is actually quite easy when they are picky in a predictable, never-changing, “all-American” way. As if you can’t make spaghetti at home. As if you can’t use Uber Eats. Come off it.

OP is extremely annoying.

You posters who think women should be doormats to their ils are the worst.

+1

And I think they are boomer ILs themselves.

Drama llama DILs are also a common trope for a reason. Congrats on being the problem, princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, because my Dad is an extremely picky eater, but at least he “owns it” and we can plan around it.

That being said? You and DH know, by now, what they will and will not actually eat. So make a basic plan for their visits.

Think of the top 3 make-at-home meals you know they’ll eat, and think of the top 3 order-out meals or restaurant meals you know they’ll eat. Bam! You now have your plan forevermore.

Like, what are you even doing looking at different restaurant menus, etc.? You know by now. I can rattle off 3 takeout restaurants my dad will order from, and what he’ll order. Why are you playing games?

Do your thinking, do your research, now you have your plans.

You whining about knowing full well what will and will not work for them, despite what they say, is as useless and annoying as them saying they’re easy but then being picky.

We do thus, but were finding something from a specific geographic location as DH was dropping off DS at a friend's house 25 min away and picking up on his drive back. And I had hoped a diner would suffice but my FIL complained that the food wouldn't travel well.

Come off it. You know what’s always around? McDonald’s.

Plus, DH was returning to your house, correct? You don’t live in a food desert, do you? And if for some reason (I’m sure you’ll list a quickly made-up excuse) you couldn’t pick up food yourself, it’s called DoorDash.

You wanted to complain about your ILs. Fine. But admit this was just a vent and not actually a problem. Because feeding picky people is actually quite easy when they are picky in a predictable, never-changing, “all-American” way. As if you can’t make spaghetti at home. As if you can’t use Uber Eats. Come off it.

OP is extremely annoying.

You posters who think women should be doormats to their ils are the worst.

+1

And I think they are boomer ILs themselves.

Boomers! Boomers everywhere! How do you function in daily life so threatened by 60-70 yr olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

This would be grounds for divorce for me. A grown man who says he can't eat pickled jalapeños? If he doesn't like them, fine, but he should stfu and pick then out instead of being a drama queen about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh this reminds me of my DH. He will also say "I'm easy," and says he will "happily eat anything."

Except he won't like it if there are mushrooms. And olives -- no olives. And anything "spicy." Even pickled jalapenos on nachos is too "spicy" for him. And "soup" (yes literally any soup -- except for French onion, he likes that one). And he won't eat carrots if they are cooked. Although he will eat a steak (orders a ribeye if we are at Capitol Grille or something), he will complain the whole time that he prefers "a hamburger." There's more that I'm forgetting.

So let him get his own food, or tell him to not eat the jalapeños. I wouldn't have any patience for adults who act like babies.

Well, generally he does get his own food or pick off the jalapenos. I don't cook that much. But there are only two of us, and I don't really feel like cooking something elaborate if he isn't going to eat it because it has mushrooms or whatever. Which can be frustrating when I see a recipe in the NYT that looks good. And I don't really feel like spending hundreds at Morton's for Valentine's Day if he doesn't like steak, but then there's a big think about where else to go.

I think some of you are not getting how it can be frustrating to deal with people who are picky eaters, but don't own up to it.