Priority of what to do to look put together and wealthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

If they are coming to you through your work (let's say it's donor relations, or something like that), they mostly just care that you do your job well, meaning you are knowledgeable and capable. They will know that you are not one of them, anyway. There is no need to blend in with them, but rather to be really good at the job that brings you in contact with them and be not offensive. Same as with the "regular folks."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

She's not old money. Her dad was from a poor, lower-class family and is self-made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress expensive but with no obnoxious branding, neat nails, makeup and hair, good posture, confident, articulate communication skills.

That's middle class/upper middle class corporate drone style, not upper class.

(

I think OP has just given us what she is seeking. Her job puts her in contact with very wealthy people and she wants to up her game so she is not viewed by her clients as just another servant.

To be honest, I can sniff out old money or long generational history of money even if today it's not that great by voice--accent and modulation--and manners. Even if they are dressed as so often happens in a totally normal way, or sometimes disheveled or quirky.

Sniffing out new money is harder but they usually drop something in the conversation early on about their accomplishments so you can tell that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

She's not old money. Her dad was from a poor, lower-class family and is self-made.

True, but she does come from some money, and then she married into a LOT of money. And she's a style icon. She's certainly well regarded among very rich women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

She's not old money. Her dad was from a poor, lower-class family and is self-made.

PP didn't say she was old money, just wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

If they are coming to you through your work (let's say it's donor relations, or something like that), they mostly just care that you do your job well, meaning you are knowledgeable and capable. They will know that you are not one of them, anyway. There is no need to blend in with them, but rather to be really good at the job that brings you in contact with them and be not offensive. Same as with the "regular folks."

OP - thanks. I will just work on being myself and maintaining/polishing up a bit more regularly and continue what I care about, which is the work and my causes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My FIL was old money, boarding school, raised by nannies, and he was the most disheveled mess. But he had perfect manners.

British?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

She's not old money. Her dad was from a poor, lower-class family and is self-made.

True, but she does come from some money, and then she married into a LOT of money. And she's a style icon. She's certainly well regarded among very rich women.

She and her husband are a bit of a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

I hate to say it because i don’t like either of these women, but they nail the style - Megan Markle and Kate Middleton. Neither dress flashy or with lots of jewelry. Their clothes for the most part is nothing special and usually boring colors. Sometimes Kate wears really stupid looking clothes with weird buttons or too short sailor pants, but normally you cannot tell which decade she dresses for. The “wealthy” look is just that PLAIN. You cannot place it. But the women are always slim, great (simple) hair, good skin, nice teeth. Always smile - it adds $1M to your NW ‘look’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

If they are coming to you through your work (let's say it's donor relations, or something like that), they mostly just care that you do your job well, meaning you are knowledgeable and capable. They will know that you are not one of them, anyway. There is no need to blend in with them, but rather to be really good at the job that brings you in contact with them and be not offensive. Same as with the "regular folks."

OP - thanks. I will just work on being myself and maintaining/polishing up a bit more regularly and continue what I care about, which is the work and my causes.

Yes, focus on educating yourself about the cause and the work in a really thorough, meaningful way. These people are donating to this organization or serving on the board because they care deeply about it—so that is your common thread/connection with them that you must nurture. It is also why they are coming to you and why they will continue to come to you. So make sure they see you as someone who is passionate about the cause and is educated on the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only real and consistent signifier is confidence that you belong in every room. Trying to mimic this with the right purse brand is just not going to get you anywhere

I think it is so much more subtle than that. There are plenty of confident people that no one would mistake for wealthy.

Of course it’s more subtle than that, but it’s never clothes/appearance

I am personally acquainted with 3 billionaire heiresses of varying backgrounds and none of them put any particular effort into their daily appearance beyond being healthy and in good shape

Why would they, they don’t need to. It adds nothing to their life

Exactly, it adds nothing for them. The obsession with careful grooming and the "quiet luxury" look is actually for the middle and upper middle class corporate drones where it adds something.

Some wealthy people care, though. I think Lauren Santo Domingo is the icon for wealthy women who care about beauty and fashion - she's gorgeous, has impeccable taste, and owns a room.

All of them care; they just don’t obsess over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's mainly a question of grooming. Some of the things you have listed, such as great skin and teeth, are necessary but not sufficient. There is a lot more to it than that. And some of what you list not related to grooming is on point, but not in the way most think it is (for example take watches: Cartier Tank = probably not, your grandmother's Patek Phillipe, yes).

But as far as looks go, it tends to be grooming that is above and beyond what most do. For example with men -- eyebrows are groomed, hands are groomed, nose and ear hairs are trimmed, haircuts more frequent, skin moisturized, spf, they swap their razors out frequently rather than stretching time between, etc. For women, obviously it gets more involved, but you have the added consideration of not going into over-the-top territory lest you look arguably vulgar with things like lashes that are caterpillar like or nails pointy and long, etc. I like long pointy nails with designs, but you aren't going to look "wealthy" with them (even if some very wealthy people, say, oh, Adele comes to mind, wear them).

I'll add -- what I've mentioned above refers to this "look wealthy" stuff the OP is asking about. Plenty of rich-as-hell folks, my grandfather comes to mind, do not necessarily look like this (although he probably comes closer rather than not).

No. Lots of wealthy people don't give a rat's behind about how they look and are not in the habit of paying attention to their bodies in this way. You guys really have to stop the narrative that wealthy means obsessive upkeep of one's appearance. Perhaps you only know people who are in public-facing roles, or who are naturally very social and attention-seeking?

The truth is that the public will never see wealthy people who live quiet lives and don't go out to parties or famous conferences. Most wealth hides itself, I hope you realize this. The majority of wealthy people in the world look like normal people. Their faces are not splashed onto magazines or business reports because they're not photogenic and they don't seek to attract attention to themselves.

You should all grow up a bit.

I knew my fair share of old money growing up in New England and trust me when I say that you'd never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

I hate to say it because i don’t like either of these women, but they nail the style - Megan Markle and Kate Middleton. Neither dress flashy or with lots of jewelry. Their clothes for the most part is nothing special and usually boring colors. Sometimes Kate wears really stupid looking clothes with weird buttons or too short sailor pants, but normally you cannot tell which decade she dresses for. The “wealthy” look is just that PLAIN. You cannot place it. But the women are always slim, great (simple) hair, good skin, nice teeth. Always smile - it adds $1M to your NW ‘look’.

Markle wears a lot of ill-fitting designer clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

OP - yes I know wealthy people come in all shapes and colors and sizes. But I am in a new position which puts me in contact with people across the spectrum. I need to look normal and not flashy for the regular folks but want to look decent enough for the uber-wealthy. I don’t have endless money to maintain myself so want to prioritize what is most important. I am “enough” (attractive, thin, educated) of some of these things but want to take it to the next level looks-wise.

I hate to say it because i don’t like either of these women, but they nail the style - Megan Markle and Kate Middleton. Neither dress flashy or with lots of jewelry. Their clothes for the most part is nothing special and usually boring colors. Sometimes Kate wears really stupid looking clothes with weird buttons or too short sailor pants, but normally you cannot tell which decade she dresses for. The “wealthy” look is just that PLAIN. You cannot place it. But the women are always slim, great (simple) hair, good skin, nice teeth. Always smile - it adds $1M to your NW ‘look’.

Markle wears a lot of ill-fitting designer clothing.

And a tote bag with D of S monogrammed on it. lol