Priority of what to do to look put together and wealthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the order of importance to “look wealthy” without any brands or labels?

- be skinny
- great skin
- great teeth
- hair “done”
- nice clothes
- nice accessories (bag, shoes)
- fine jewelry, watch

Like, if I’m skinny and have great skin and teeth do I need the other things to “look wealthy”?

Can you explain why you need to look “wealthy,” as opposed to simply put together and attractive? And if you are not actually wealthy why do you need to fake it?

Not OP, but wealthy people get a lot of privileges and perks that make life easier and more pleasant. Sometimes those are handed out purely on the basis of appearing wealthy.

Ok, that I definitely get, but is it worth it to try and go beyond regular “pretty privilege” to be something that is clearly not authentic to you? It’s just very weird and not healthy or worth it.

I frequently travel to my parents’ home country and over the years I realized that people treat me with a certain degree of deference because I present as an attractive and wealthy woman of a certain class. I could not “fake” this- it comes with my education and mannerisms and health and access to the United States.

It sort of worries me that so many Americans concern themselves with this now. It suggests that being a regular middle class person no longer affords access to regular decent treatment by other people so you now want to be perceived in a certain way. More evidence that our society may be deteriorating instead of becoming more egalitarian.

[Anonymous]

wasn’t there just a thread on this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wealthy and know wealthy people. Wealthy people come in all shapes and sizes, and degrees of confidence and put-togetherness. My wealthy husband looks like a homeless guy unless I specifically direct him to nondescript clothes that are better than the ones he usually wears to potter around the house and garden. I am slim and love fun clothes, but my teeth aren't great (auto-immune disease). None of us make any sort of effort to signal anything.

What you're talking about seems to be the poor man's idea of what a wealthy person should look like, which is ridiculous. You'd be trying to impress other poor people? I never make assumptions about how much money someone has upon first meeting, unless I read it in their bio.

Just take care of your health, invest your money wisely and don't spend it on frivolities.

Agreed. The fascination with “quiet wealth” is a trend. It’s no different than the attempt to signal wealth with LV bags or other logos. Did no one learn anything from Pretty Woman? Don’t judge people based on their appearance - we are also comfortable and my husband frequently looks like a hobo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the order of importance to “look wealthy” without any brands or labels?

- be skinny
- great skin
- great teeth
- hair “done”
- nice clothes
- nice accessories (bag, shoes)
- fine jewelry, watch

Like, if I’m skinny and have great skin and teeth do I need the other things to “look wealthy”?

Can you explain why you need to look “wealthy,” as opposed to simply put together and attractive? And if you are not actually wealthy why do you need to fake it?

Not OP, but wealthy people get a lot of privileges and perks that make life easier and more pleasant. Sometimes those are handed out purely on the basis of appearing wealthy.

Ok, that I definitely get, but is it worth it to try and go beyond regular “pretty privilege” to be something that is clearly not authentic to you? It’s just very weird and not healthy or worth it.

I frequently travel to my parents’ home country and over the years I realized that people treat me with a certain degree of deference because I present as an attractive and wealthy woman of a certain class. I could not “fake” this- it comes with my education and mannerisms and health and access to the United States.

It sort of worries me that so many Americans concern themselves with this now. It suggests that being a regular middle class person no longer affords access to regular decent treatment by other people so you now want to be perceived in a certain way. More evidence that our society may be deteriorating instead of becoming more egalitarian.

So preferential treatment for me but not for thee?

[Anonymous]

For me the tipping point is great hair and a stylish but lowkey outfit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the order of importance to “look wealthy” without any brands or labels?

- be skinny
- great skin
- great teeth
- hair “done”
- nice clothes
- nice accessories (bag, shoes)
- fine jewelry, watch

Like, if I’m skinny and have great skin and teeth do I need the other things to “look wealthy”?

Can you explain why you need to look “wealthy,” as opposed to simply put together and attractive? And if you are not actually wealthy why do you need to fake it?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the order of importance to “look wealthy” without any brands or labels?

- be skinny
- great skin
- great teeth
- hair “done”
- nice clothes
- nice accessories (bag, shoes)
- fine jewelry, watch

Like, if I’m skinny and have great skin and teeth do I need the other things to “look wealthy”?

Can you explain why you need to look “wealthy,” as opposed to simply put together and attractive? And if you are not actually wealthy why do you need to fake it?

Not OP, but wealthy people get a lot of privileges and perks that make life easier and more pleasant. Sometimes those are handed out purely on the basis of appearing wealthy.

Ok, that I definitely get, but is it worth it to try and go beyond regular “pretty privilege” to be something that is clearly not authentic to you? It’s just very weird and not healthy or worth it.

I frequently travel to my parents’ home country and over the years I realized that people treat me with a certain degree of deference because I present as an attractive and wealthy woman of a certain class. I could not “fake” this- it comes with my education and mannerisms and health and access to the United States.

It sort of worries me that so many Americans concern themselves with this now. It suggests that being a regular middle class person no longer affords access to regular decent treatment by other people so you now want to be perceived in a certain way. More evidence that our society may be deteriorating instead of becoming more egalitarian.

So preferential treatment for me but not for thee?

What do you mean by this?

[Anonymous]

Dress expensive but with no obnoxious branding, neat nails, makeup and hair, good posture, confident, articulate communication skills.

[Anonymous]

May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

Whiteness plays a role here as well.

I am Middle Eastern and find I need to appear as “white” as possible to get certain treatment. For example, if I go out with my hair curly instead of straight, people talk to me in Spanish. If I am not perfectly put together, people talk to me in Spanish. This is everywhere- the store, the bank, the doctor’s office. It’s deeply weird and very consistent.

[Anonymous]

Even acquiring becomes easier with escalator of privilege.

[Anonymous]

*acquiring skills

[Anonymous]

I find the people who wear an obviously expensive timepiece or those instantly recognizable (and unvariably ugly) jewelry pieces from Cartier/Tiffany etc. to be try-hards. It’s gauche IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

Whiteness plays a role here as well.

I am Middle Eastern and find I need to appear as “white” as possible to get certain treatment. For example, if I go out with my hair curly instead of straight, people talk to me in Spanish. If I am not perfectly put together, people talk to me in Spanish. This is everywhere- the store, the bank, the doctor’s office. It’s deeply weird and very consistent.

What is deeply weird is that you think that people talking to you in Spanish means they assume you are poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be OP is only trying to mimic something which opens doors.

As a society we need to stop giving rich, goodlooking and privileged undue influence and opportunities. None of these are acquired skills, just good luck.

Whiteness plays a role here as well.

I am Middle Eastern and find I need to appear as “white” as possible to get certain treatment. For example, if I go out with my hair curly instead of straight, people talk to me in Spanish. If I am not perfectly put together, people talk to me in Spanish. This is everywhere- the store, the bank, the doctor’s office. It’s deeply weird and very consistent.

Agreed. Ridiculous. I am white but with unruly curly/wavy hair. I'm not straightening it to appear less threatening or whatever. My old hairdresser insisted on blow drying it super smooth and it was so unauthentically not me.