Is there any scenario where it's not okay for male/female friends to hang out when they are in relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with your presumption about what the accepted standard is.

If I am in an exclusive relationship, no, I am not okay with him going one on one to the movies, dinner, etc. That's called a DATE.

No it's not because there is no romantic piece of the evening. A male friend and I want to see a movie that his wife and my husband have no interest in seeing so we're going to get dinner after work and go see it. It's not a date because we're not going to be canoodling during the movie.

I'd be annoyed if my spouse did this, as would my spouse if I did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective it is only ok if you are gay. Hanging out alone with a member of the sex you are attracted to seems to create problems of commission and/or omission, so it is best to avoid those situations. You can still have and maintain those relationships, but without excluding your spouse.

How little self control do you possess?

I have plenty. I just know a lot of people well enough to not trust their intentions or self control. When burns from a fire happen, fire is involved. You can have a fire responsibly and play with fire without getting burnt, but eventually you will get burnt if you play with fire.

Married partners that flirt or are emotionally engaged with outside parties, prioritize different things than me. It doesn’t make me weak to protect my marriage, it’s harder than you think.

This is exactly it. I’ve had guy friends from work etc. A few of them have ended up hitting on me over the years. I don’t want to risk that, so I make an effort to minimize these potential situations. Of course I don’t lock myself in a closet, but I also stick to engaging mostly in groups or sticking to lunch or coffee. Yes, occasionally I’ll end up having a one on one with a man for drinks or dinner, but it’s rare. And I think it should be. I am not working on close relationships with men who are not my husband (other than family). And I’m fine with that. My marriage is worth protecting

[Anonymous]

I would not be married to a person who demanded I drop platonic friends. It's borderline abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be married to a person who demanded I drop platonic friends. It's borderline abusive.

I think you lack EQ. My partner didn’t order me to reduce my opposite sex friendships. But I had the common sense to once I was married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be married to a person who demanded I drop platonic friends. It's borderline abusive.

I avoided this entirely by not marrying someone who thinks it's okay to go out to movies or to the bar with another woman and has similar expectations of me. It's really just about aligning expectations. If you are a woman and want a marriage where you're free to go out with your guy friends, you marry someone who likes to go out with his girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be married to a person who demanded I drop platonic friends. It's borderline abusive.

I avoided this entirely by not marrying someone who thinks it's okay to go out to movies or to the bar with another woman and has similar expectations of me. It's really just about aligning expectations. If you are a woman and want a marriage where you're free to go out with your guy friends, you marry someone who likes to go out with his girlfriends.

Right. I wouldn't have married you, because you're insane. I can only assume you're a crazed sex maniac with no self control and project that on to other people. There's no other explanation that makes sense.