Was I out of line at the grocery store with a shrieking toddler?

[Anonymous]

OP heres my problem. There was an adult present. Heres the thing you know it would have been crazy to go up to the mom and say hey, your kid is screaming so loud it hurts my ears because duh shes screaming. But you took it upon yourself to address a TODDLER and using exclamation marks indicates you either yelled or said it with strong emphasis as a command.
How was the mom encouraging it? Was she saying keep screaming? Was she giving her kids a thumbs up? Could she have possibly been laughing because of being nervous or trying to get her kid to mimic her? Could she have been laughing out of frustration like FML? Did you know parents have been instructed to ignore age-appropriate behavior unless someone is getting injured? Would it have been better if she was crying or singing opera? Or is it that children should just be quiet when in public? I am just trying to get an understanding of what your acceptance is for children existing at all since most adults nowadays expect children to be compliant and quiet at all times. He1l, some of you probably complain about kids playing outside too loud.
You feel comfortable telling a child how to behave but I bet you wouldnt tell an adult who has their conversation or music on speakerphone to turn it down would you? And a village is not just for correction. Yall loveeeeeeee to be the b-tchy corrector, overseer of all Ps & Qs, but are absent when it comes to actual support. THe only support you want to provide is a being a nosy-know-it-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

That would include op

OP was not distrubing anyone. She was objecting to it. FFS. NO wonder there are so many brats out and about these days. You people are incapable of introspection and parenting.

As this is simply a board of opinions. I will say you’re 100% wrong.

See how that works and it doesn’t matter. I’d say you were incapable of empathy and taking OP’s word for it when they really want to be praised for being awful. Maybe their parents should’ve done better.

I do not know a single normal person who thinks it is acceptable behavior in public to let your toddler scream. You are 100% wrong and hope you never leave your house with your screaming brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

Do you always make stupid bad-faith arguments like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP heres my problem. There was an adult present. Heres the thing you know it would have been crazy to go up to the mom and say hey, your kid is screaming so loud it hurts my ears because duh shes screaming. But you took it upon yourself to address a TODDLER and using exclamation marks indicates you either yelled or said it with strong emphasis as a command.
How was the mom encouraging it? Was she saying keep screaming? Was she giving her kids a thumbs up? Could she have possibly been laughing because of being nervous or trying to get her kid to mimic her? Could she have been laughing out of frustration like FML? Did you know parents have been instructed to ignore age-appropriate behavior unless someone is getting injured? Would it have been better if she was crying or singing opera? Or is it that children should just be quiet when in public? I am just trying to get an understanding of what your acceptance is for children existing at all since most adults nowadays expect children to be compliant and quiet at all times. He1l, some of you probably complain about kids playing outside too loud.
You feel comfortable telling a child how to behave but I bet you wouldnt tell an adult who has their conversation or music on speakerphone to turn it down would you? And a village is not just for correction. Yall loveeeeeeee to be the b-tchy corrector, overseer of all Ps & Qs, but are absent when it comes to actual support. THe only support you want to provide is a being a nosy-know-it-all.

+100

They are small people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

Do you always make stupid bad-faith arguments like this?

PP is one 100% correct. It is possible to parent and correct the behaviour of children who have special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

Do you always make stupid bad-faith arguments like this?

Do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP heres my problem. There was an adult present. Heres the thing you know it would have been crazy to go up to the mom and say hey, your kid is screaming so loud it hurts my ears because duh shes screaming. But you took it upon yourself to address a TODDLER and using exclamation marks indicates you either yelled or said it with strong emphasis as a command.
How was the mom encouraging it? Was she saying keep screaming? Was she giving her kids a thumbs up? Could she have possibly been laughing because of being nervous or trying to get her kid to mimic her? Could she have been laughing out of frustration like FML? Did you know parents have been instructed to ignore age-appropriate behavior unless someone is getting injured? Would it have been better if she was crying or singing opera? Or is it that children should just be quiet when in public? I am just trying to get an understanding of what your acceptance is for children existing at all since most adults nowadays expect children to be compliant and quiet at all times. He1l, some of you probably complain about kids playing outside too loud.
You feel comfortable telling a child how to behave but I bet you wouldnt tell an adult who has their conversation or music on speakerphone to turn it down would you? And a village is not just for correction. Yall loveeeeeeee to be the b-tchy corrector, overseer of all Ps & Qs, but are absent when it comes to actual support. THe only support you want to provide is a being a nosy-know-it-all.

A mom who is encouraging her toddler to behave badly isn't going to listen to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP heres my problem. There was an adult present. Heres the thing you know it would have been crazy to go up to the mom and say hey, your kid is screaming so loud it hurts my ears because duh shes screaming. But you took it upon yourself to address a TODDLER and using exclamation marks indicates you either yelled or said it with strong emphasis as a command.
How was the mom encouraging it? Was she saying keep screaming? Was she giving her kids a thumbs up? Could she have possibly been laughing because of being nervous or trying to get her kid to mimic her? Could she have been laughing out of frustration like FML? Did you know parents have been instructed to ignore age-appropriate behavior unless someone is getting injured? Would it have been better if she was crying or singing opera? Or is it that children should just be quiet when in public? I am just trying to get an understanding of what your acceptance is for children existing at all since most adults nowadays expect children to be compliant and quiet at all times. He1l, some of you probably complain about kids playing outside too loud.
You feel comfortable telling a child how to behave but I bet you wouldnt tell an adult who has their conversation or music on speakerphone to turn it down would you? And a village is not just for correction. Yall loveeeeeeee to be the b-tchy corrector, overseer of all Ps & Qs, but are absent when it comes to actual support. THe only support you want to provide is a being a nosy-know-it-all.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

OP here.

To clarify, I didn’t scream at the child, which in written text would look like: “OUCH! YOU ARE HURTING MY EARS!”

So for the sake of this thread, and to be correct, it was: “Ouch. You are hurting my ears.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP heres my problem. There was an adult present. Heres the thing you know it would have been crazy to go up to the mom and say hey, your kid is screaming so loud it hurts my ears because duh shes screaming. But you took it upon yourself to address a TODDLER and using exclamation marks indicates you either yelled or said it with strong emphasis as a command.
How was the mom encouraging it? Was she saying keep screaming? Was she giving her kids a thumbs up? Could she have possibly been laughing because of being nervous or trying to get her kid to mimic her? Could she have been laughing out of frustration like FML? Did you know parents have been instructed to ignore age-appropriate behavior unless someone is getting injured? Would it have been better if she was crying or singing opera? Or is it that children should just be quiet when in public? I am just trying to get an understanding of what your acceptance is for children existing at all since most adults nowadays expect children to be compliant and quiet at all times. He1l, some of you probably complain about kids playing outside too loud.
You feel comfortable telling a child how to behave but I bet you wouldnt tell an adult who has their conversation or music on speakerphone to turn it down would you? And a village is not just for correction. Yall loveeeeeeee to be the b-tchy corrector, overseer of all Ps & Qs, but are absent when it comes to actual support. THe only support you want to provide is a being a nosy-know-it-all.

A mom is not required to listen to OP.

FTFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

To clarify, I didn’t scream at the child, which in written text would look like: “OUCH! YOU ARE HURTING MY EARS!”

So for the sake of this thread, and to be correct, it was: “Ouch. You are hurting my ears.”

Completely appropriate and fine. You did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that you did that. Expletive that mom.

+1
More people should intervene. And for what it's worth I would have given that mom a strong stink eye too.

[Anonymous]

I don’t believe OP for the simple fact that there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, more bothered by a child’s screams than the MOTHER. It’s biologically wired into us to respond to our children screaming. Zero chance in hell the mom was laughing at the screaming. That’s the tell that this is made up or exaggerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

To clarify, I didn’t scream at the child, which in written text would look like: “OUCH! YOU ARE HURTING MY EARS!”

So for the sake of this thread, and to be correct, it was: “Ouch. You are hurting my ears.”

OP, are you neurodivergent? Seems like a possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe OP for the simple fact that there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, more bothered by a child’s screams than the MOTHER. It’s biologically wired into us to respond to our children screaming. Zero chance in hell the mom was laughing at the screaming. That’s the tell that this is made up or exaggerated.

I can’t even imagine what her blood pressure was. The worst feeling.