Was I out of line at the grocery store with a shrieking toddler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

Not everyone can afford Instacart

Then do drive-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

My eardrums would say different but since you know better about my kid than I do, please tell me everything I need to know about being a good parent in the world. Truly fascinated by you and your intellect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

Apparently, the child was perfectly capable of shutting up since shrieking stopped. I am a parent of an autistic child too. I would have done the same thing as OP. Sure, there are special needs children and then there are brats. This situation sounded like the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:weirdo

Op has no social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

Not everyone can afford Instacart

Then do drive-up.

I mean, I could say wear earplugs.

This person was still incredibly rude. And I don’t mean the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

A parent of an autistic child here. Nothing about this situation says to me the child was autistic. She was corrected and she stopp ed. Seems perfectly neurotypical to me. If the mother had done it in the first place, there would be no need for OP to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

shouldn’t be surprised that people are punching down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

That would include op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

My eardrums would say different but since you know better about my kid than I do, please tell me everything I need to know about being a good parent in the world. Truly fascinated by you and your intellect.

A baby can’t be reasoned with. A toddler has a small capacity for reason—case in point, it shut up after a stranger scolded it. That’s the difference. And you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

That would include op

OP was not distrubing anyone. She was objecting to it. FFS. NO wonder there are so many brats out and about these days. You people are incapable of introspection and parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

My eardrums would say different but since you know better about my kid than I do, please tell me everything I need to know about being a good parent in the world. Truly fascinated by you and your intellect.

A baby can’t be reasoned with. A toddler has a small capacity for reason—case in point, it shut up after a stranger scolded it. That’s the difference. And you know it.

.

Kids will always listen to other people before they listen to their parents. If you had children, you would know that.

It doesn’t mean that OP is in the right it doesn’t mean she wasn’t a creep or did not scare that child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

My eardrums would say different but since you know better about my kid than I do, please tell me everything I need to know about being a good parent in the world. Truly fascinated by you and your intellect.

A baby can’t be reasoned with. A toddler has a small capacity for reason—case in point, it shut up after a stranger scolded it. That’s the difference. And you know it.

.

Kids will always listen to other people before they listen to their parents. If you had children, you would know that.

It doesn’t mean that OP is in the right it doesn’t mean she wasn’t a creep or did not scare that child

I kind of hope she did scare the child. Perhaps she will remember that next time she is at the grocery store or in public.

[Anonymous]

I think what OP did was fine and I would have been grateful to her in that store. I don't know if it's the norm though -- I think I'm more sensitive to loud and sharp sounds than most people are. It really exhausts me and if I'm in a place with sounds like that for any length of time, I often feel like I need to go lie down for a while just to recover.

I'm also a parent and I don't let my kid shriek like that, even at home. I don't stop her by yelling at her (that's counterproductive) but she has known since she is very young that you can't just scream around other people, especially indoors, because it hurts their ears. My husband and I have a deal where activities likely to have shrieking kids (certain birthday parties, for instance) he handles, and I handle other kid activities he doesn't like as much.

I know people with really shrieky kids and I honestly don't know how they let it get like that. I think it affects my central nervous system. Kids shrieking on a playground are okay (as long as I'm not right next to them) because it's outside, but when they do that inside someone's house or a store, it almost makes me feel ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

Then I guess a sexual deviant has a right to expose himself in public? A kleptomaniac a right to steal? A narcissist the right to verbally attack a cashier? Because their brain is wired differently?

No.

You aren’t allowed to disturb others.

That would include op

OP was not distrubing anyone. She was objecting to it. FFS. NO wonder there are so many brats out and about these days. You people are incapable of introspection and parenting.

As this is simply a board of opinions. I will say you’re 100% wrong.

See how that works and it doesn’t matter. I’d say you were incapable of empathy and taking OP’s word for it when they really want to be praised for being awful. Maybe their parents should’ve done better.