Does Greek life scare you? Is it better off in a greek-free college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

Just because it CAN happen doesn’t mean it IS happening. Just because kids CAN be untruthful doesn’t mean they ARE.

And many of us also experienced Greek life directly and didn’t encounter hazing or dirty rushing.

It’s extremely clear anti-Greek posters have a negative view of sororities/ fraternities they need to keep alive. Post after post, people who experienced the Greek system share what it’s like. Post after post, anti-Greek responders disregard and argue for stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

Just because it CAN happen doesn’t mean it IS happening. Just because kids CAN be untruthful doesn’t mean they ARE.

And many of us also experienced Greek life directly and didn’t encounter hazing or dirty rushing.

It’s extremely clear anti-Greek posters have a negative view of sororities/ fraternities they need to keep alive. Post after post, people who experienced the Greek system share what it’s like. Post after post, anti-Greek responders disregard and argue for stereotypes.

Why are you so upset that other people don’t like the Greek system? It’s not going to die out because of some discussions on DCUM. It’s still alive and strong despite how many people view it negatively. You think it’s great, we get that. Move on—I think you’re bringing more negativity into your life by being upset about this. We don’t care as much as you care. Try and let it go and focus on something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

Just because it CAN happen doesn’t mean it IS happening. Just because kids CAN be untruthful doesn’t mean they ARE.

And many of us also experienced Greek life directly and didn’t encounter hazing or dirty rushing.

It’s extremely clear anti-Greek posters have a negative view of sororities/ fraternities they need to keep alive. Post after post, people who experienced the Greek system share what it’s like. Post after post, anti-Greek responders disregard and argue for stereotypes.

To be fair, some of the posts people are calling “negative” (at least in one of the Greek threads, I can’t keep track of what went where) have come from people who themselves were in fraternities and sororities and now look back with adult eyes.

But to the point of this thread, I went to a no-Greek school and it’s not like we didn’t have binge drinking or date rape. So I’d agree it’s silly to point the finger at the Greek system, or feel like you’re somehow “safe” at a school without Greek life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

DD at UVA where about 25-30% of students are part of Greek life. She joined a sorority first year, although it seems to be low on her priority list as she is involved in a number of other organizations. I don't think she actively avoids frat boys or frat parties, although she and her girlfriends definitely have a buddy system whenever they go out anywhere to ensure they all leave together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

Just because it CAN happen doesn’t mean it IS happening. Just because kids CAN be untruthful doesn’t mean they ARE.

And many of us also experienced Greek life directly and didn’t encounter hazing or dirty rushing.

It’s extremely clear anti-Greek posters have a negative view of sororities/ fraternities they need to keep alive. Post after post, people who experienced the Greek system share what it’s like. Post after post, anti-Greek responders disregard and argue for stereotypes.

The fact is hazing does happen at many universities within the greek system. Even at colleges that claim it doesn't. Hazing for anything is wrong and demeaning. The fact some kids feel the need to participate in it to be a part of something is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids attend schools where Greek life is 20% or less - so the vast majority of students are not involved in it. That seems to be the best of both worlds. Neither of them were interested in rushing and most of their friends aren't Greek either.

+1
This is indeed the best of all worlds. My kids are in similar schools and love all the opportunities available to them while not having to join a frat/sorority. The Greek system is there but most people aren’t in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

DD at UVA where about 25-30% of students are part of Greek life. She joined a sorority first year, although it seems to be low on her priority list as she is involved in a number of other organizations. I don't think she actively avoids frat boys or frat parties, although she and her girlfriends definitely have a buddy system whenever they go out anywhere to ensure they all leave together.

Smart.
Sad that it’s necessary, but this is smart at any school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Neither dh nor I were in the Greek life, so all I know about it are that you’re more likely to get accepted if you are: good looking, fit, outgoing, have enough money for good clothes, and enjoy the party scene. The fact that these people also have advantages in life later from the “brotherhood” of getting each other jobs is just another way of rich people getting richer. Then you add in the ludicrous hazing that has occasionally resulted in DEATH…and you wonder why some people don’t see the appeal?

Again, it sounds like you don't trust your adult child to make a choice. Even at high Greek-life schools, under 25% of students are involved so not sending your child to one of those schools where 75% are not Greek is crazy. Second, "rich" people have always had advantages. Sororities and fraternities do not change that. Country clubs are the adult version. Third, I can't speak for other houses, but I can tell you there was ZERO hazing at my child's school. It is not allowed and did not happen at her sorority. We were actually expecting some minor stuff, but it was all about keeping your grades up, learning the history of the sorority, and making friendships. Ooh, the horror!

That said, I am not trying to convince anyone to join a sorority or fraternity. But barring your child from going to school with a healthy system is taking it too far.

DP

Perhaps that was your child’s experience at their school, but make no mistake - hazing is alive and well in the Greek system at most schools. And your child would be violating their commitment to their fraternity or sorority if they told you about the details of the process anyway.

Marketing that reassures you that underage drinking and drug use is prohibited, hazing is prohibited, etc.?

Please. Empty words, at best.

They dirty rush, they know exactly when IFC / Panhellenic oversight will occur (which is why you’ll see your kid on Life 360 leaving the house every time at the exact sane time), they use offsite venues like off campus housing for smaller parties, etc.

I’m not editorializing on whether rushing and pledging is the right decision for everyone. I’m just reminding everyone to be realistic about the process.

Just because it CAN happen doesn’t mean it IS happening. Just because kids CAN be untruthful doesn’t mean they ARE.

And many of us also experienced Greek life directly and didn’t encounter hazing or dirty rushing.

It’s extremely clear anti-Greek posters have a negative view of sororities/ fraternities they need to keep alive. Post after post, people who experienced the Greek system share what it’s like. Post after post, anti-Greek responders disregard and argue for stereotypes.

Why are you so upset that other people don’t like the Greek system? It’s not going to die out because of some discussions on DCUM. It’s still alive and strong despite how many people view it negatively. You think it’s great, we get that. Move on—I think you’re bringing more negativity into your life by being upset about this. We don’t care as much as you care. Try and let it go and focus on something else.

The poster isn’t “so upset” that other people don’t “like” the Greek system. What bothers her is that they know nothing about it and make up bullshit to support their opposition.

The idea that it’s all about drinking until you vomit and rape a helpless sorority girl is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

If Aliens invaded Earth, they would have a hard time understanding the idiocy of pay to play affinity groups for 18 yr olds. As an European who has lived in Asia for a while before moving to the US 4 years ago, the American Greek system is a baffling spectacle.

The rest of the world sends their kids to university for an education. Here, it seems a certain class of parents pays a premium for what amounts to a four-year networking seminar with beer. This is the great aspiration of the parvenu, the social climber who believes access can be bought.

You are not just paying dues, you are investing in the hope that your children will acquire what Bourdieu called "habitus".

The whole idea of Greek for us non Americans it that it is simply an enterprise sold to middle income americans as a sort of middle-management incubator, a place for those who need a pre-built structure to succeed. Americans have bought into this dream…..

“Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive”

Thank you! Post of the week!

Can I go to Europe for a few years and then lecture the Europeans in a condescending tone what I think is wrong with their institutions based on my experience as an American and without actually having any first hand experience at those institutions myself?

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Seven years of college down the drain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

If Aliens invaded Earth, they would have a hard time understanding the idiocy of pay to play affinity groups for 18 yr olds. As an European who has lived in Asia for a while before moving to the US 4 years ago, the American Greek system is a baffling spectacle.

The rest of the world sends their kids to university for an education. Here, it seems a certain class of parents pays a premium for what amounts to a four-year networking seminar with beer. This is the great aspiration of the parvenu, the social climber who believes access can be bought.

You are not just paying dues, you are investing in the hope that your children will acquire what Bourdieu called "habitus".

The whole idea of Greek for us non Americans it that it is simply an enterprise sold to middle income americans as a sort of middle-management incubator, a place for those who need a pre-built structure to succeed. Americans have bought into this dream…..

“Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive”

Thank you! Post of the week!

Can I go to Europe for a few years and then lecture the Europeans in a condescending tone what I think is wrong with their institutions based on my experience as an American and without actually having any first hand experience at those institutions myself?

See how that works?

Nothing wrong the euro mom’s opinion. It is called an opinion. An quite frankly she is spot on. Get off your high horse.