Does Greek life scare you? Is it better off in a greek-free college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not totally opposed to it but anyone says it’s all charity work and bonding and no hazing or sexual assault is hopelessly naive

I was in a sorority. I wasn’t hazed, nor was I sexually assaulted. I’m comfortable saying the same is true for ALL of my friends in Greek life.

My DD is in a sorority at a different university. She hasn’t been hazed or sexually assaulted. She did wake up at 6am today to volunteer at an event raising money for pediatric cancer research. She went with 4-5 of her sisters.

(Also, do you really think sexual assault exclusive to Greek life?)

Same. Some of my best friends today are sorority sisters. One who lives halfway across the country just called to check in on me since I recently had surgery and I know she would pick up and fly here in a minute if I needed her to.

I spent A LOT of time at fraternity houses when I was in college. Nothing bad ever happened to me. Many fraternity boys were the ones who made sure we made it home safely after a night of too much drinking. Much to the chagrin of DCUMs, all the fraternity boys I knew who I still know now turned out to be successful. They’re doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, business owners, in commercial real estate, lobbyists, etc. And I have many successful sorority sisters in the same professions (including one who is a politician you’ve likely heard of).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Greek haters are jealous. I'm sorry, they just are. This forum is full of posters who are jealous of things they can't have. This is just another.

I think maybe you need this to be true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it’s not a case of scared, it’s a case of social fit. DD isn’t interested (fairly introverted, in HS is in the artsy, theater, music, geeky crowd). So she always checks percentages of students in Greek life and asks questions about how big it is at any school she looks at, and no Greek at all is a bonus.

Semantics.

It's not that she won't fit in, she's "scared" she won't fit in. She's scared of Greek life.

No, it’s that she’s not interested. Just like she’s not interested in sports, so she doesn’t hang out with the jocks in high school. She’s not scared she won’t fit in - she’ll fit in with the artsy theater people.

So why can’t she go to school with kids who are in the Greek system? Colleges are large enough for everyone to find their people. The only ones being closed-minded on this thread are those who refuse to consider schools with strong Greek networks.

She can. Did you read? I said no Greek is a bonus, but it’s not the goal. But she doesn’t want a school where everything revolves around Greek life, that would be a bad fit. Do you tell future English majors that they are scared and close-minded if they don’t consider attending RPI?

Silly analogy.

The point is that students have thousands of schools to choose from, so they narrow it down based on what they are and aren’t interested in, whatever that may be. That concept seems to elude you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Utter BS

Sorrities are nothing but buying friends.

Colleges are buying friends as well. You pay up to $90,000 per year for a select peer group and your child's friends are almost exclusively within that peer group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority in a high Greek life school. She is happy, has plenty of activities at all times, and is focused on her education. This board is strange with its anti-Greek stance. Most sorority members are grounded and love the sisterhood and socializing- they are living a balanced life.

It sounds like you don't trust your daughter which is a completely different issue.

Utter BS

Sorrities are nothing but buying friends.

Colleges are buying friends as well. You pay up to $90,000 per year for a select peer group and your child's friends are almost exclusively within that peer group.

This is a fair point from one of the non-Greek posters (who isn’t paying 90k bc wtf with college costs these days)

[Anonymous]

My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school. She is doing great. I am from the northeast, we do not live in the south and I was not in a sorority. The stories she has told me about some of the frats are gross. She has a good head on her shoulders and is making her own way in life. As she should!

[Anonymous]

Do other students - the potential friends - sit on the admissions committee?

Do students get something of value other than friends for their tuition? Is that the primary reason for paying the tuition?

[Anonymous]

There’s a big difference between colleges with residential fraternities and sororities and those that have a Greek system, but no residential houses.

That said, my daughter is at Columbia where there are residential houses, and she says they sort of carve out a tiny niche there that few even notices. So it’s hard to generalize.

[Anonymous]

* notice. I hate that you can’t edit your own typos on this forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a big difference between colleges with residential fraternities and sororities and those that have a Greek system, but no residential houses.

That said, my daughter is at Columbia where there are residential houses, and she says they sort of carve out a tiny niche there that few even notices. So it’s hard to generalize.

Good point. Plus it gave you the opportunity to mention that your daughter goes to Columbia, which we are sure is something you like to do as much as you possibly can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not totally opposed to it but anyone says it’s all charity work and bonding and no hazing or sexual assault is hopelessly naive

I was in a sorority. I wasn’t hazed, nor was I sexually assaulted. I’m comfortable saying the same is true for ALL of my friends in Greek life.

My DD is in a sorority at a different university. She hasn’t been hazed or sexually assaulted. She did wake up at 6am today to volunteer at an event raising money for pediatric cancer research. She went with 4-5 of her sisters.

(Also, do you really think sexual assault exclusive to Greek life?)

That’s great for you and your DD. I’m happy for you, and fwiw I’m not OP. My DD is the one at a school with light Greek life, who likes the girls she knows who are rushing, and who still isn’t interested in rushing herself.

Someone (you?) is insisting that she actually really truly does want to rush — wants it more than she wants anything else in fact — and would absolutely definitely 100% do it if she weren’t scared. You don’t see that this is a weird thing to insist? Is it not the equivalent of my saying to my neighbor with cats, “actually you DO like dogs better than cats, you’re just too scared of dogs to have one.” That would be weird of me, right?

I am glad that you had a great experience. I hope all the girls who rush have a similarly great experience! Go forth with god, my friend.

No, that wasn’t me. There are multiple people posting on this thread.

Your daughter can have a great time in college without joining Greek life. I wish nothing but the best for her. My other daughter probably won’t be the sorority type. I’ve lost no sleep over this. She’ll be just as fine as my daughter who chose to do it.

But the insistence on this thread that girls entering Greek life will get hazed or sexually assaulted needs to be addressed. It simply isn’t true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

If Aliens invaded Earth, they would have a hard time understanding the idiocy of pay to play affinity groups for 18 yr olds. As an European who has lived in Asia for a while before moving to the US 4 years ago, the American Greek system is a baffling spectacle.

The rest of the world sends their kids to university for an education. Here, it seems a certain class of parents pays a premium for what amounts to a four-year networking seminar with beer. This is the great aspiration of the parvenu, the social climber who believes access can be bought.

You are not just paying dues, you are investing in the hope that your children will acquire what Bourdieu called "habitus".

The whole idea of Greek for us non Americans it that it is simply an enterprise sold to middle income americans as a sort of middle-management incubator, a place for those who need a pre-built structure to succeed. Americans have bought into this dream…..

“Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

If Aliens invaded Earth, they would have a hard time understanding the idiocy of pay to play affinity groups for 18 yr olds. As an European who has lived in Asia for a while before moving to the US 4 years ago, the American Greek system is a baffling spectacle.

The rest of the world sends their kids to university for an education. Here, it seems a certain class of parents pays a premium for what amounts to a four-year networking seminar with beer. This is the great aspiration of the parvenu, the social climber who believes access can be bought.

You are not just paying dues, you are investing in the hope that your children will acquire what Bourdieu called "habitus".

The whole idea of Greek for us non Americans it that it is simply an enterprise sold to middle income americans as a sort of middle-management incubator, a place for those who need a pre-built structure to succeed. Americans have bought into this dream…..

“Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive”

Or…
It not that big of a deal. It’s part of a college experience that you can join or you can ignore.

It isn’t about social climbing, or dreams, or whatever lofty thought you want to attribute to it.

There’s a lot about this world I don’t have experience with. I’m wise enough not to judge the things I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Clearly there is a very very defensive Greek troll on this board, likely the one who says parents are “jealous” of the kids who get into a preferred house. Enough already, okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents having daughters, what's their experience in a heavy greek life campus? How did they avoid frat boys?

If Aliens invaded Earth, they would have a hard time understanding the idiocy of pay to play affinity groups for 18 yr olds. As an European who has lived in Asia for a while before moving to the US 4 years ago, the American Greek system is a baffling spectacle.

The rest of the world sends their kids to university for an education. Here, it seems a certain class of parents pays a premium for what amounts to a four-year networking seminar with beer. This is the great aspiration of the parvenu, the social climber who believes access can be bought.

You are not just paying dues, you are investing in the hope that your children will acquire what Bourdieu called "habitus".

The whole idea of Greek for us non Americans it that it is simply an enterprise sold to middle income americans as a sort of middle-management incubator, a place for those who need a pre-built structure to succeed. Americans have bought into this dream…..

“Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive”

Well put!!