Single men in 50s - what are you looking for when dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Yep, that basically describes that men want to invest little mental and financial effort . Just put out and initiate and don’t complain when he gives nothing for V day.

The fact is that you’re no longer hot enough that it’s worth making any mental or financial effort. If you want more than “put out and don’t complain” you need to be at least 20 years younger.

Oh, and that also men consider all 40+ women disposable and not worthy any mental and financial effort. Thanks for opening my eyes.

Eh well DCUM women have made it abundantly clear that they consider all 40+ men disposable and not worth their trouble, so you can hardly expect men not to have noticed this and responded accordingly.

Men are disposable. That's why God made so many of the!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Or support anything or any aspect of a person. Emotional support, companionship support, general support.

Agree. That whole list basically screams “don’t ask anything of me or for me, especially emotionally or connection or basic reliability.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Yep, that basically describes that men want to invest little mental and financial effort . Just put out and initiate and don’t complain when he gives nothing for V day.
I must say, I would pass even if he’s hot. Total waste of my time, I’ll rather focus on friends, career and my kids.

I would argue the complete opposite. I know a lot of middle aged single dudes (my divorced brother’s friends).

Most of them prefer to pay for stuff because it gets them off the hook for anything else (like being a good boyfriend). They churn through pretty younger women and act like big swinging d**ks because they pick up the bar tab.

I’d prefer to pay my own way - if a guy isn’t paying my way he better show up in some other way, like being interesting and interested in me, planning good dates when it’s his turn, being thoughtful toward me (coffee in bed is my love language 😂). I probably get fewer second dates because I have standards, but I have found a few that have been worth keeping around.

You are both in agreement and saying that same thing.

The 50s+ men don’t want to be thoughtful or mindful or considerate towards their date.

They are ok paying and being transactional that way, but don’t expect a close relationship since they have no emotions or empathy or understanding to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Or support anything or any aspect of a person. Emotional support, companionship support, general support.

Agree. That whole list basically screams “don’t ask anything of me or for me, especially emotionally or connection or basic reliability.”

Do you realize OP's question was about what are men looking for, not what are they willing to give? The list above is things that guy (and probably many other 50s men) are looking for. That doesn't mean they will insist on a one-sided relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Yep, that basically describes that men want to invest little mental and financial effort . Just put out and initiate and don’t complain when he gives nothing for V day.
I must say, I would pass even if he’s hot. Total waste of my time, I’ll rather focus on friends, career and my kids.

I would argue the complete opposite. I know a lot of middle aged single dudes (my divorced brother’s friends).

Most of them prefer to pay for stuff because it gets them off the hook for anything else (like being a good boyfriend). They churn through pretty younger women and act like big swinging d**ks because they pick up the bar tab.

I’d prefer to pay my own way - if a guy isn’t paying my way he better show up in some other way, like being interesting and interested in me, planning good dates when it’s his turn, being thoughtful toward me (coffee in bed is my love language 😂). I probably get fewer second dates because I have standards, but I have found a few that have been worth keeping around.

You are both in agreement and saying that same thing.

The 50s+ men don’t want to be thoughtful or mindful or considerate towards their date.

They are ok paying and being transactional that way, but don’t expect a close relationship since they have no emotions or empathy or understanding to give.

what are you talking about? Some men are like that. Others are not. Jesus, the inability of women on this board to understand nuances and probabilities probably goes a long way toward explaining why they're so bitter.

[Anonymous]

Solid job, finances in order, an ex she’s got under control and successful kids she prioritizes. I never ever want to be put in front of your children, I’ll be overjoyed if you bump our date because your daughter is going through a heartbreak, I’ll always put my kids first and if you don’t it’s kind of a turn off.


Pretty face, great legs, doesn’t get seasick, wicked stiletto collection and an adventurous palate and spirit. Honest, says what she means, good boundaries, passionate about anything, it could be knitting, birdwatching, Elizabeth and poetry, Renaissance art – it doesn’t matter just be interested in something that isn’t real housewives of Dayton and Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Solid job, finances in order, an ex she’s got under control and successful kids she prioritizes. I never ever want to be put in front of your children, I’ll be overjoyed if you bump our date because your daughter is going through a heartbreak, I’ll always put my kids first and if you don’t it’s kind of a turn off.


Pretty face, great legs, doesn’t get seasick, wicked stiletto collection and an adventurous palate and spirit. Honest, says what she means, good boundaries, passionate about anything, it could be knitting, birdwatching, Elizabeth and poetry, Renaissance art – it doesn’t matter just be interested in something that isn’t real housewives of Dayton and Instagram.

Ugh you sound exhausting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit
Well educated and financially independent
Good sense of humor
Little if any emotional baggage
Low maintenance and not needy
Empty nester
Enjoys sex and initiates

Interesting and good to know that older men are not looking to support a woman financially.

Yep, that basically describes that men want to invest little mental and financial effort . Just put out and initiate and don’t complain when he gives nothing for V day.

The fact is that you’re no longer hot enough that it’s worth making any mental or financial effort. If you want more than “put out and don’t complain” you need to be at least 20 years younger.

Oh, and that also men consider all 40+ women disposable and not worthy any mental and financial effort. Thanks for opening my eyes.

Eh well DCUM women have made it abundantly clear that they consider all 40+ men disposable and not worth their trouble, so you can hardly expect men not to have noticed this and responded accordingly.

Men are disposable. That's why God made so many of the!

This would be exhibit 1 of women men don’t want at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Solid job, finances in order, an ex she’s got under control and successful kids she prioritizes. I never ever want to be put in front of your children, I’ll be overjoyed if you bump our date because your daughter is going through a heartbreak, I’ll always put my kids first and if you don’t it’s kind of a turn off.


Pretty face, great legs, doesn’t get seasick, wicked stiletto collection and an adventurous palate and spirit. Honest, says what she means, good boundaries, passionate about anything, it could be knitting, birdwatching, Elizabeth and poetry, Renaissance art – it doesn’t matter just be interested in something that isn’t real housewives of Dayton and Instagram.

Ugh you sound exhausting

Disagree. Those are similar things I’d look for in a guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single guy in my 50s and love the demure in public and naughty in private. This combo is very much worth looking for and taking care of once found.

The most fun FWB I had post-divorce was on the PTA board for her kids' school. She also taught (no joke) Sunday School. She was bright, beautiful, and very well-mannered.

However, when she was free to be herself, she was also very naughty. She said that the "naughty" side of her scared her ex-DH, which seemed so sad to me.

So few men realize this. It takes a smart one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me help you:
If he is rich: a kind woman with her own financial resources who will think everything he does is great. If she is not already financially independent she needs to be smoking hot but also intelligent/educated and presentable. Unless he is an ahole, in which case smoking hot alone will suffice.
If he is poor: a nonjudgmental mother type to tell them they aren’t a loser.

obviously written by a bitter woman, not a man

Bitter women are bitter because of men.

- thank you for proving the existence of the Coven of Bitter Divorcées, who haunt this forum and irrationally seek to ruin every other woman’s relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single guy in my 50s and love the demure in public and naughty in private. This combo is very much worth looking for and taking care of once found.

The most fun FWB I had post-divorce was on the PTA board for her kids' school. She also taught (no joke) Sunday School. She was bright, beautiful, and very well-mannered.

However, when she was free to be herself, she was also very naughty. She said that the "naughty" side of her scared her ex-DH, which seemed so sad to me.

These types of people suck to me as a friend. They are hot and cold personalities and fake. Maybe as a lover it works but I find genuine people better at friendship and love.

[Anonymous]

Ugh you sound exhausting

Disagree. Those are similar things I’d look for in a guy

Sure you would. Because you are sock-puppeting your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Solid job, finances in order, an ex she’s got under control and successful kids she prioritizes. I never ever want to be put in front of your children, I’ll be overjoyed if you bump our date because your daughter is going through a heartbreak, I’ll always put my kids first and if you don’t it’s kind of a turn off.


Pretty face, great legs, doesn’t get seasick, wicked stiletto collection and an adventurous palate and spirit. Honest, says what she means, good boundaries, passionate about anything, it could be knitting, birdwatching, Elizabeth and poetry, Renaissance art – it doesn’t matter just be interested in something that isn’t real housewives of Dayton and Instagram.

Ugh you sound exhausting

I am exhausting but also extraordinarily fun, it’s a pretty good balance.

[Anonymous]

These types of people suck to me as a friend. They are hot and cold personalities and fake. Maybe as a lover it works but I find genuine people better at friendship and love.

Wut. Your post makes no sense unless you are sleeping with these friends.

She can be genuine in her friendships and social life without having to broadcast that she enjoys light BDSM with her bf. Who are you to judge anyone?

Do you share everything you enjoy in private with everyone in your social circle?