Single men in 50s - what are you looking for when dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Skinny
Pretty
Under 40

How old are you ? Do you want kids ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me help you:
If he is rich: a kind woman with her own financial resources who will think everything he does is great. If she is not already financially independent she needs to be smoking hot but also intelligent/educated and presentable. Unless he is an ahole, in which case smoking hot alone will suffice.
If he is poor: a nonjudgmental mother type to tell them they aren’t a loser.

This should tell you all you need to know about the mindset of the posters in this forum. Keep that in mind when they offer advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me help you:
If he is rich: a kind woman with her own financial resources who will think everything he does is great. If she is not already financially independent she needs to be smoking hot but also intelligent/educated and presentable. Unless he is an ahole, in which case smoking hot alone will suffice.
If he is poor: a nonjudgmental mother type to tell them they aren’t a loser.

obviously written by a bitter woman, not a man

Bitter women are bitter because of men.

Not in my experience. Although they often believe that but once free of the man remain unhappy and bitter. Because it never was the man.

It’s what the man did to their lives. It’s permanent damage. Getting rid of the man can’t retrieve the past or fix the lost opportunities and the harm done. It just gets rid of the proximal cause.

Men love to tell themselves otherwise because it helps them deny responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me help you:
If he is rich: a kind woman with her own financial resources who will think everything he does is great. If she is not already financially independent she needs to be smoking hot but also intelligent/educated and presentable. Unless he is an ahole, in which case smoking hot alone will suffice.
If he is poor: a nonjudgmental mother type to tell them they aren’t a loser.

obviously written by a bitter woman, not a man

Bitter women are bitter because of men.

Not in my experience. Although they often believe that but once free of the man remain unhappy and bitter. Because it never was the man.

It’s what the man did to their lives. It’s permanent damage. Getting rid of the man can’t retrieve the past or fix the lost opportunities and the harm done. It just gets rid of the proximal cause.

Men love to tell themselves otherwise because it helps them deny responsibility.

Just like you are denying your responsibility with this post? Happiness is a personal responsibility, stop blaming other people and fix your issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you looking for in a woman?

Someone who doesn’t ask a lot of questions or make demands.

Just enjoy the ride.

[Anonymous]

Nurse and a purse. But I will treat them well. So many fun trips to go on and dinners out. It will be lovely. Lovely companionship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nurse and a purse. But I will treat them well. So many fun trips to go on and dinners out. It will be lovely. Lovely companionship.

Are you getting a lot of interest ? You should date women who are 10+ years older than you for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My requirements really aren't all that demanding. Someone who takes care of herself and dresses well. Educated and financially stable. Physically active.

I'm definitely looking for women who aren't lying about their age. I meet a lot of them who don't look at all like their OLD photos or the age given in their profile. There have been a number of cases where I would have liked her if she'd been honest about her age, and posted recent photos, but I couldn't ignore the fact that she was lying about it. So, don't do that.

I still have one kid at home (DD in high school). I keep meeting women who are already empty nesters and don't want to date someone who isn't an empty nester. That's my problem not theirs, of course. But I'm looking for someone who is OK with me having a kid 50/50.

The issue is that users apply age cut offs in search. I had to reduce age by 2 years to avoid the cutoff but I disclose my actual age once we match. I look great for my age and post current photos, so never had issues with that.

And yes, men need to look for women who have similar life stage and schedule with kids. It would be unfair for her to stay alone half weekends, if the man has kids and she doesn’t

This is why I don't recommend men to date of they still have kids at home. I ran into this issue when I got into a serious relationship post divorce and we eventually broke up. She said she wanted to see me every weekend, but that was not possible because my son was a traveling athlete, my daughter had dance on top all other activities for them etc.

I may be wrong, but I think men are more likely to be okay if it was the other way around. If you can't see them every weekend it's okay for them. For a lot of women physical proximity is their love language.

Dating post divorce is very challenging for men who genuinely care about their kids. I think women have it easier because men aren't going to complain as much about lack of time together

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t mind another set of children.
I am an excellent provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t mind another set of children.
I am an excellent provider.

If you think money is the only thing that gives your kids a good start, you’ll be producing sets of dysfunctional and unhappy kids. And bound yourself to gold diggers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Off the top of my head:

- in good physical shape - she takes care of herself
- emotional maturity - not still hung up on the past, willing to be vulnerable herself and accepting of me
- kids at similar stage
- financial independence
- some common interests

How come chemistry that’s mentioned so often by men is not on the list?

I'm PP. Chemistry definitely matters but there's not much a woman can do about that. Well, she should be sexual, enjoy sex. But that still doesn't mean there will be chemistry with any given person. On the other hand, realizing lightening strike right off the bat is generally a bad predictor of a good relationship and realizing that sometimes chemistry takes time to develop are important things she can control. Part of being emotionally mature.

Btw, re fitness, I'm much more attracted to women who age gracefully while remaining feminine than ones who have a bunch of surgery and injections, on the one hand, or who give in to the practicalities of being a suburban mom 24/7 on the other hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Off the top of my head:

- in good physical shape - she takes care of herself
- emotional maturity - not still hung up on the past, willing to be vulnerable herself and accepting of me
- kids at similar stage
- financial independence
- some common interests

How come chemistry that’s mentioned so often by men is not on the list?

I'm PP. Chemistry definitely matters but there's not much a woman can do about that. Well, she should be sexual, enjoy sex. But that still doesn't mean there will be chemistry with any given person. On the other hand, realizing lightening strike right off the bat is generally a bad predictor of a good relationship and realizing that sometimes chemistry takes time to develop are important things she can control. Part of being emotionally mature.

Btw, re fitness, I'm much more attracted to women who age gracefully while remaining feminine than ones who have a bunch of surgery and injections, on the one hand, or who give in to the practicalities of being a suburban mom 24/7 on the other hand.

Why is instant attraction a bad predictor of a good relationship ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Off the top of my head:

- in good physical shape - she takes care of herself
- emotional maturity - not still hung up on the past, willing to be vulnerable herself and accepting of me
- kids at similar stage
- financial independence
- some common interests

How come chemistry that’s mentioned so often by men is not on the list?

I'm PP. Chemistry definitely matters but there's not much a woman can do about that. Well, she should be sexual, enjoy sex. But that still doesn't mean there will be chemistry with any given person. On the other hand, realizing lightening strike right off the bat is generally a bad predictor of a good relationship and realizing that sometimes chemistry takes time to develop are important things she can control. Part of being emotionally mature.

Different PP, I agree. For me, chemistry takes a while to develop. Rare for me to have a definite feeling of "no chemistry" right off the bat in a first face-to-face meeting, though this appears to be common with women.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Off the top of my head:

- in good physical shape - she takes care of herself
- emotional maturity - not still hung up on the past, willing to be vulnerable herself and accepting of me
- kids at similar stage
- financial independence
- some common interests[/quote]

How come chemistry that’s mentioned so often by men is not on the list? [/quote]

I'm PP. Chemistry definitely matters but there's not much a woman can do about that. Well, she should be sexual, enjoy sex. But that still doesn't mean there will be chemistry with any given person. On the other hand, realizing lightening strike right off the bat is generally a bad predictor of a good relationship and realizing that sometimes chemistry takes time to develop are important things she can control. Part of being emotionally mature.

Btw, re fitness, I'm much more attracted to women who age gracefully while remaining feminine than ones who have a bunch of surgery and injections, on the one hand, or who give in to the practicalities of being a suburban mom 24/7 on the other hand. [/quote]

Why is instant attraction a bad predictor of a good relationship ? [/quote]

Because it usually reflects the familiarity of intense but dysfunctional past relationships, especially with a parent. Tons of literature on this. Do your homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Off the top of my head:

- in good physical shape - she takes care of herself
- emotional maturity - not still hung up on the past, willing to be vulnerable herself and accepting of me
- kids at similar stage
- financial independence
- some common interests

How come chemistry that’s mentioned so often by men is not on the list?

I'm PP. Chemistry definitely matters but there's not much a woman can do about that. Well, she should be sexual, enjoy sex. But that still doesn't mean there will be chemistry with any given person. On the other hand, realizing lightening strike right off the bat is generally a bad predictor of a good relationship and realizing that sometimes chemistry takes time to develop are important things she can control. Part of being emotionally mature.

Btw, re fitness, I'm much more attracted to women who age gracefully while remaining feminine than ones who have a bunch of surgery and injections, on the one hand, or who give in to the practicalities of being a suburban mom 24/7 on the other hand.

Why is instant attraction a bad predictor of a good relationship ?

Because it usually reflects the familiarity of intense but dysfunctional past relationships, especially with a parent. Tons of literature on this. Do your homework.