At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market?

[Anonymous]

I feel crisis is for both men over 40 and women over 30. However, educated, employed and average looking men and women can do fine if they are socially active.

A lot of people move around and lose their social network, that makes organic dating tough, more so with online workingُ and playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 6'1" and make high six figures and and next year low 7. I attended a Top 10 school. I am in my early 40s and live in a HCOL area. I need to lose 30lbs and am not conventionally attractive.

This profile is attractive to women? Smart, funny, beautiful women? Or just women? What age ranges?

Why do you think you haven’t gotten married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 6'1" and make high six figures and and next year low 7. I attended a Top 10 school. I am in my early 40s and live in a HCOL area. I need to lose 30lbs and am not conventionally attractive.

This profile is attractive to women? Smart, funny, beautiful women? Or just women? What age ranges?

Why do you think you haven’t gotten married?

30 lbs is not attractive to beautiful women . If they are smart they likely have own money and date someone who doesn’t earn 7 figures but is fit.

Drop weight !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market? It seems to me that when women want to date there is no shortage of men for them. Men can't say the same thing. So at what point do men have the upper hand? Perhaps it's never

When they start acting like men again instead of simps/wimps?

This. When you're a rugged cowboy who opens doors and treats women with class you have the upper hand. If you know how to wear a suit and read a good book you have the upper hand. When you know how to tend to period cramps and make dinner you have the upper hand. I'm not saying you need to do all these things but you better do some of them. The same goes for women on knowing how to treat men. We all want respect. Treat someone right and want to make their life better.

That’s not true. Yes some women like to be treated with respect. But the vast majority of women like to be treated like trash. This is why bad boys are overall more successful in the dating market than nice guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on the above:

Women dominate from ages 18–30 due to peak fertility and cultural desirability norms.

Men gain the upper hand from 35–55, when their income and perceived maturity outweigh reduced physical peak.

By 60+, both genders face reduced “market power,” but men still retain a slight edge in dating supply-demand due to longevity and societal acceptance of older men dating younger women.

Well said. By far the best answer on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Penthouse,

I'm a freshman at a small Northeastern college. l never thought those letters were true, until a few days ago...

l had an experience that changed my mind. l just had to share it with you. l had resigned myself to another night of reading your magazine... when there was a knock on my dorm room door.

And when I opened the door, I could hardly believe my eyes.

[Anonymous]

And this is different for men, how? Men have an affinity for "fun" girls before shopping for a mate. And most of us were lucky enough to avoid knocking up that fun girl. C'mon, my brothers. You know what I mean. That girl in college who was cool with doing it while her roommate watched? Who made a tape of the two of you going at it, and told you (years after you stopped seeing her) that she still had it and plays it every now and then?

It wasn’t luck; that woman was probably on the pill or used a morning-after pill or had an abortion, all of which are in danger thanks to Trump and his Republican Congress and Supreme Court. We have reliable DNA testing now which is going to identify all your “brothers” and hold you accountable for those babies or aborted fetuses.

I am the PP, and if any of my brothers got someone pregnant, they should be held accountable.

My point was that in an earlier post, a woman had mentioned that women tend to date bad boys until they are ready to settle down. My reply was that men often dated the female equivalent of "bad boys" until we were ready to settle down (thus, creating the "Dear Penhouse" moments).

What I should have added is that "bad" boy or girl is very relative. I think most people my age (early 60s) can remember parts of their dating history when they were wilder than others.

Most of which is in the distant past. Except for one night recently at my Sunrise Senior Living home, where these two fine minks from down hall pushed their walkers into my room and ......

[Anonymous]

Honestly I feel like as a whole, women always have the upper hand generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I feel like as a whole, women always have the upper hand generally.

This attitude indicates you are trying to date above your level.

If you are more interested in someone than they are in you, they will always have to upper hand.

If you feel like the women you pursue always have the upper hand, it indicates that you are aiming for women who are more attractive, successful, athletic, socially popular, etc. than you are.

You need to more critically assess your strengths and weaknesses and look for women who are a good match (which means if you have some major drawbacks, you need to look for partners with similar amount/level of drawbacks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market? It seems to me that when women want to date there is no shortage of men for them. Men can't say the same thing. So at what point do men have the upper hand? Perhaps it's never

When they start acting like men again instead of simps/wimps?

This. When you're a rugged cowboy who opens doors and treats women with class you have the upper hand. If you know how to wear a suit and read a good book you have the upper hand. When you know how to tend to period cramps and make dinner you have the upper hand. I'm not saying you need to do all these things but you better do some of them. The same goes for women on knowing how to treat men. We all want respect. Treat someone right and want to make their life better.

That’s not true. Yes some women like to be treated with respect. But the vast majority of women like to be treated like trash. This is why bad boys are overall more successful in the dating market than nice guys.

There are some lessons from the BDSM community to be learned with this. Submissives need structure and "punishments" to help ease their anxiety, but in a way that is agreeable and doesn't feel bad in a bad way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

Women DO have an affinity to be attracted to bad boys and danger.

Until we're ready for marriage, then we want kind, handsome, family-oriented men with big paychecks.

Then you must date older. 10-20 years older age gap is about right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

Women DO have an affinity to be attracted to bad boys and danger.

It's a myth. Some men for whatever reason chasing toxic women. I'm sorry but a woman who is asking a so called "bad boy" wherever the hell that means are a giant red flag. Why would a guy seek such a woman is a mystery to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should have asked something like "when does the median man have the upper hand over the median woman in the dating market?"

Some responses have gotten at that question, more or less. But others are are offering up responses saying "outliers always have the upper hand!"

Women clearly have the upper hand in their 20s. I'd say men clearly have the upper hand by their 60s. Between 30s-50s, I guess I don't know where I'd place the tipping point.

But if you are a woman in your 20s and you want marriage, kids, and long term stability, you have very little power and men have ALL the power there. Men think women withhold sex in order to gain power and that can be true, but men withhold commitment in order to get power far more often. Talk to heterosexual women in their 20s who want relationships and ask them how that's going.

That's because many women in their 20s are clueless and not dating older men in their 40s who are ready for commitment and families.

Men in their 20s are still like kids maturity wise, and even in their early 30s they often are not emotionally mature enough to be good husbands and fathers.

Men age slower physically sure. They also mature mentally/emotionally more slowly as well.

Girls dream of marriage and kids as kids themselves. Boys dream of other things until they are well into adulthood.

Don’t full yourself: maybe men mature slower than women but they age just the same if not worse. Percentage of overweight males in 40s age group is 10% higher than 40s women.
Women in their 20s are not clueless: the 40s men simply are not existent for them as sexual beings

Where are you from? Curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I feel like as a whole, women always have the upper hand generally.

This attitude indicates you are trying to date above your level.

If you are more interested in someone than they are in you, they will always have to upper hand.

If you feel like the women you pursue always have the upper hand, it indicates that you are aiming for women who are more attractive, successful, athletic, socially popular, etc. than you are.

You need to more critically assess your strengths and weaknesses and look for women who are a good match (which means if you have some major drawbacks, you need to look for partners with similar amount/level of drawbacks).

I am a woman. But thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a woman wants you it's a different world. My son is 6'5, very handsome and an amazing personality (just like me his dad joking lol). He graduated recently and we went to a place to have lunch and I was stunned. Not one but 2 women came up to him introduced themselves and give him their numbers. I was like nothing like this ever happened to me.

So the person with the advantage is the attractive one (man of woman). Humans are visual. Once you pass the initial attractiveness test then you get a chance to prove yourself.

My son played along took their numbers but deleted them. He was snatched in HS. I hope he stays with his HS gf, she is amazing, a great person and they really love each other.

I was an athlete at a division 3 school and my roommate was 6'4 on the basketball team. He was 1/2 black and 1/2 white. I have never seen so many women throw themselves at a man like that. But he was a big nerd, graduated 4.0 with a degree in physics. He didn't like any of the women chasing him. Instead there was one girl he really really really like..he chased her for almost 2 years she never wanted to go out with him. They would go eat together, they would spend hours at the library, but she never saw him as his boyfriend and never slept together. She was another big nerd like him. Then on graduation day she introduced him to her parents. He was so happy and he asked her if they were official and she said they were just friends. He said he heard her mom whispered to the daughter that he was gorgeous. To make a long story short they have been married for 10 years 3 kids together and just an amazing couple.

Similarly every guy was chasing that woman as well. She was hour 10/10 woman. When you see how she dresses, her feminity, her presence etc you would think she is just another sorority girl being passed around. She also didn't like any one the guys chasing her. In fact the only time she went out, my roommate had to go with her and pretend like he is her boyfriend just so guys can leave her alone

Who do you think had the advantage? It doesn't matter.