Is there anyway to discuss a spouse's weight gain and not cause permanent damage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

So let me get this straight. You were unaware that you had crap eating and gained 20+ lbs until your spouse came to you and told you that you had gained weight? You otherwise would not have known, and it took him bringing it up?

I was keenly aware, but I lacked the willpower and motivation to fix it until he brought it up to me. As I stated, it was the kick in the pants that I needed to take action to fix it.

So your husband convinced you to start taking a drug with potentially serious side effects, that is frequently in short supply for people who actually need it, all so you can lose 20 vanity pounds? And you think that’s wonderful? OK.

I do. It *is* wonderful. I'm happy and slim and eating much more healthily. No serious side effects and zero concern about supply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

I feel bad for some of you I really do. So, when your p**y gets wrinkly, your boobs/ass become saggy, is your husband going to ask you to fix that? My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either. Some of you are in really miserable marriages and in denial about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

So let me get this straight. You were unaware that you had crap eating and gained 20+ lbs until your spouse came to you and told you that you had gained weight? You otherwise would not have known, and it took him bringing it up?

I was keenly aware, but I lacked the willpower and motivation to fix it until he brought it up to me. As I stated, it was the kick in the pants that I needed to take action to fix it.

So your husband convinced you to start taking a drug with potentially serious side effects, that is frequently in short supply for people who actually need it, all so you can lose 20 vanity pounds? And you think that’s wonderful? OK.

I do. It *is* wonderful. I'm happy and slim and eating much more healthily. No serious side effects and zero concern about supply.

Glad you two found each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

This is just your opinion. Lots of loving spouses don’t impose this requirement on each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

Find us a picture of someone who looks objectively terrible at 5’7 145 or take a seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

So let me get this straight. You were unaware that you had crap eating and gained 20+ lbs until your spouse came to you and told you that you had gained weight? You otherwise would not have known, and it took him bringing it up?

I was keenly aware, but I lacked the willpower and motivation to fix it until he brought it up to me. As I stated, it was the kick in the pants that I needed to take action to fix it.

So your husband convinced you to start taking a drug with potentially serious side effects, that is frequently in short supply for people who actually need it, all so you can lose 20 vanity pounds? And you think that’s wonderful? OK.

I do. It *is* wonderful. I'm happy and slim and eating much more healthily. No serious side effects and zero concern about supply.

LOL

Does he have you on tranquilizers, too? You read as a complete airhead.

[Anonymous]

Honestly for me it is not the weight/fat/etc.

It is the lack of discipline that got him there in the first place and unwillingness to fix it. It makes me respect him a lot less and respect is pretty key to sexual attraction for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

Find us a picture of someone who looks objectively terrible at 5’7 145 or take a seat.

Plenty of them, millions, but all you'd do is say something like "Oh that looks fine! Nothing wrong with that (blubber), that's beautiful appendages (jiggling)!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

This is just your opinion. Lots of loving spouses don’t impose this requirement on each other.

That's not an opinion, it's a matter of fact. You lack respect for someone if you don't.

Now if you don't think respect matters in a relationship, then that is YOUR opinion to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

Find us a picture of someone who looks objectively terrible at 5’7 145 or take a seat.

PP was clearly a bunch of fat with no muscle at all. Maybe they ought to try lifting a weight or two instead of injecting themselves with drugs.

lol there are some seriously sick in the head people here who need some serious help. Married to such complete a33holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me last year about his concern about my eating habits and weight gain. It hurt, but he was right, and I knew it. I wasn't even overweight (5'7, 145 lbs) but I had gained 20 pounds since our marriage (20+ years ago), most of it over the past five years due to binge eating. He did it in a kind a caring way - said he was worried about me, that the way I was eating wasn't healthy. I felt hurt and upset but vowed to change. I had wanted to but just wasn't able to. I worked on it last year but couldn't stick to it and nothing changed. He approached me at the beginning of this year again and said he felt I needed professional help - maybe to see a dietician; maybe to try weight loss drugs. Went to a medspa, got a GLP-1, lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I'm glad he came to me; I truly am. He never said he was losing attraction to me (but when I said, "So you think I'm fat?" he said, "No, but I can see that you have gained weight"); just that he was worried about me, that we have young kids and need to stay healthy for them. And he said he wanted me to feel good about myself again.

I really appreciate that he talked to me. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to make a change and I'm much happier with myself now. My crap eating and my weight was ruining a lot of things - my energy, my self-image, my sex drive, my general happiness. Everything feels brighter now.

My God 5'7 145lbs sure you are not skinny but you are not fat either.

Weight does not denote if someone is skinny or fat. Someone can be low bodyfat at that weight and look great, and someone can have high bodyfat at the same weight and look terrible.

Staying in shape for your spouse/partner is a key requirement to any relationship.

Find us a picture of someone who looks objectively terrible at 5’7 145 or take a seat.

I’m 5’7”, 120lbs. I have been 135 and I looked pretty bad. I’m really small boned and weight goes right to my middle.

[Anonymous]

5’7 and 120 is way too thin. What is your BMI?