Hoping to die before I get old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Then they should know not to be a burden. But not many of them planned.

Most middle-aged people know what it is to have to care for elderly parents, because most of them have had an elderly parent. This is life.

Every one of us could be a burden on our children, no matter how much we plan. Unless you wealthy enough to outsource absolutely everything, your children will need to buy the diapers you wear at your assisted living facility. (Supplies like that often aren't included.) Your children will help you make doctor appointments, and though your ALF may have transportation to take you there, your children will need to be on hand to tell the doc what you are too tired or too sick or too debilitated to tell them yourself. Your children will arrange for your prescriptions to be picked up, for your favorite snacks and drinks to be delivered. They will take you to the dentist and the optometrist. They will buy you new clothes when you've grown too thin to wear your old clothes. When you complain day after day that the aides don't respond to your calls immediately, it is your children who will have to hear it. When you are admitted to the hospital, they call your children. When you need more care than the ALF provides, your children will arrange for outside aide services. When you need a nursing home or rehab, or other services that mean you can't stay at the ALF anymore, your children will have to find a nursing home and move you there.

Unless you are very wealthy, there is no way around this. Elderly people need the same kind of care and attention that young children do. And as with young children, that care is provided by or closely overseen by families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Then they should know not to be a burden. But not many of them planned.

Most middle-aged people know what it is to have to care for elderly parents, because most of them have had an elderly parent. This is life.

Every one of us could be a burden on our children, no matter how much we plan. Unless you wealthy enough to outsource absolutely everything, your children will need to buy the diapers you wear at your assisted living facility. (Supplies like that often aren't included.) Your children will help you make doctor appointments, and though your ALF may have transportation to take you there, your children will need to be on hand to tell the doc what you are too tired or too sick or too debilitated to tell them yourself. Your children will arrange for your prescriptions to be picked up, for your favorite snacks and drinks to be delivered. They will take you to the dentist and the optometrist. They will buy you new clothes when you've grown too thin to wear your old clothes. When you complain day after day that the aides don't respond to your calls immediately, it is your children who will have to hear it. When you are admitted to the hospital, they call your children. When you need more care than the ALF provides, your children will arrange for outside aide services. When you need a nursing home or rehab, or other services that mean you can't stay at the ALF anymore, your children will have to find a nursing home and move you there.

Unless you are very wealthy, there is no way around this. Elderly people need the same kind of care and attention that young children do. And as with young children, that care is provided by or closely overseen by families.

I am just amazed how many people deny this simple truth. All the child free 30 something’s, they have no idea.
It’s sad really

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I am a bit scared of is being 65 and not even being able to die because a 95 yo parent depends on me. My parent is however unfazed and plans to live to 100. I bite my tongue when he professes it.

It wouldn't hurt to remind your Dad that if he's 95, you'll be old too and perhaps unable to help him much. You might even be dead!

I thought it was a little cruel to say that so I refrained from it. I sooo want to say it though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Started working out 6 days a week to age better and be independent longer.

My 80 yo dad has always been a health nut but he is far from being independent. mostly he can’t do anything outside of everyday routine. He can walk to a store but he can’t plan and manage his medical care for example. He is not mentally competent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother is 90, love her but I don't want to have to deal or care for her anymore. I have two teens at home and needy husband and animals. She squandered all her money, no one should live past 85.

Why do you need a needy husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dignitas is sooo overpriced. Just stop drinking water. You'll be dead in 72 hours.

But can you resist the urge to drink?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Like 30? Do you know any 75 year olds? Because 75 isn’t very old.

I know, right??

I am watching a show now on TMZ and cannot believe that Harvey Levin is 74…..and a half!

But there are also more vital old(er!) people who are still living a good life.
Look at Martha Stewart, Christy Brinkley, etc….

[Anonymous]

It's really hard. Dh's grandpa had a long, difficult decline in his 90s, same with my great uncle. Dementia is the worst and the person is not themselves at the end, sometimes for years. I've also seen many people have pretty great older age, independent, doing yoga, cooking a lot, not able to drive but living at home with some (not constant) help from family, a visiting nurse...We really don't know how it's going to go for us and it is stressful to consider. But for those who say 70-75, that is very very young. My in-laws and parents are these ages and aside from some health concerns they are able to do absolutely everything, are sharp, travel...It is still a good age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Like 30? Do you know any 75 year olds? Because 75 isn’t very old.

I'm not OP but how old someone seems depends on their genetics and life choices. My FIL was very sick starting at 68 and died at 70.

The average life expectancy in the US is around 78 years old.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_life_expectancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Like 30? Do you know any 75 year olds? Because 75 isn’t very old.

I'm not OP but how old someone seems depends on their genetics and life choices. My FIL was very sick starting at 68 and died at 70.

The average life expectancy in the US is around 78 years old.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_life_expectancy

Seems like the shit hits the fan hard and fast around 75; by this time, you typically have a diagnosis that will determine or inform the remaining years of your life.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that some of our elders came of age before computers and now live in an age where everyone has their own mobile phone.

It's hard to imagine what the world will be like when we're as old as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seeing all these horrible stories (as well as the real life cases I see of friends caring for aging parents) makes me hope I die before I hit 75 or so. Getting old seems awful. Does anyone else feel this way?

Only way to make sure is to you end it yourself. Maybe get a gun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Like 30? Do you know any 75 year olds? Because 75 isn’t very old.

I know, right??

I am watching a show now on TMZ and cannot believe that Harvey Levin is 74…..and a half!

But there are also more vital old(er!) people who are still living a good life.
Look at Martha Stewart, Christy Brinkley, etc….

Do you know real people or just people on TV? I know real people (my relatives!) and agree with OP.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. I am 54 and am breaking down already. I can’t imagine what the next 20 years might look like. No thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that some of our elders came of age before computers and now live in an age where everyone has their own mobile phone.

It's hard to imagine what the world will be like when we're as old as they are.

That’s why it’s important to keep up with the world and not be stupidly proud of hating all progress and refusing to even try to learn. Too many seniors do exactly that.