s/o: Force child to go to TJ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

DP who went to TJ and knows kids pushed in, and the difference is that those kids will (rightly or wrongly) blame their parents for pushing them in. If you're just going to your base school you have less reason to blame your parents - the state mandates your attendance after all.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. I know of several kids who were pushed into TJ or pushed to remain in TJ. None of them had happy endings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

This is so sad to read! I feel bad for that kid.

These types of cases, where parents push kids to go to TJ against their will, are why I created this thread.

My youngest is finishing freshman year at TJ and looking forward to next year, as well as the rest of their time at TJ. My youngest is thriving at TJ. Not having any more children, BTW.

But, my child has sincerely wanted to go to TJ ever since hearing about it in 5th grade from classmates (my guess is some of the classmates had siblings there, or maybe parents talked about TJ. We certainly did not).

Unfortunately, my child at TJ has spoken of freshman classmates whose parents made the decision for them and they hate going to TJ. It’s not a healthy situation for those students. And definitely not good for school morale overall, not to mention all the possible bad outcomes from forcing a kid into an environment they really don’t want to participate in.

My older child is thriving at their base school, and made very clear to us they did NOT want to go to TJ. We listened and respected their choice.

I have no interest, and have never had an interest in the wait-list which will be created this Friday after 6pm; please don’t listen to the crazy conspiracy theorist who is convinced otherwise. She has issues.

But please do listen to your kids. It will make for a better life for them, for you, and for TJ as a whole if the entire student body truly wants to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

This is so sad to read! I feel bad for that kid.

These types of cases, where parents push kids to go to TJ against their will, are why I created this thread.

My youngest is finishing freshman year at TJ and looking forward to next year, as well as the rest of their time at TJ. My youngest is thriving at TJ. Not having any more children, BTW.

But, my child has sincerely wanted to go to TJ ever since hearing about it in 5th grade from classmates (my guess is some of the classmates had siblings there, or maybe parents talked about TJ. We certainly did not).

Unfortunately, my child at TJ has spoken of freshman classmates whose parents made the decision for them and they hate going to TJ. It’s not a healthy situation for those students. And definitely not good for school morale overall, not to mention all the possible bad outcomes from forcing a kid into an environment they really don’t want to participate in.

My older child is thriving at their base school, and made very clear to us they did NOT want to go to TJ. We listened and respected their choice.

I have no interest, and have never had an interest in the wait-list which will be created this Friday after 6pm; please don’t listen to the crazy conspiracy theorist who is convinced otherwise. She has issues.

But please do listen to your kids. It will make for a better life for them, for you, and for TJ as a whole if the entire student body truly wants to be there.

So don't send your kid if you are part of the 1.5% mandatory admits from any school other than Rachel Carson and Longfellow to “make it a better life for TJ as a whole”?

[Anonymous]

Bottom line: let child decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom line: let child decide.

This. Forcing child is abusive. I'm guessing that this is the least of OP's problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

This is so sad to read! I feel bad for that kid.

These types of cases, where parents push kids to go to TJ against their will, are why I created this thread.

My youngest is finishing freshman year at TJ and looking forward to next year, as well as the rest of their time at TJ. My youngest is thriving at TJ. Not having any more children, BTW.

But, my child has sincerely wanted to go to TJ ever since hearing about it in 5th grade from classmates (my guess is some of the classmates had siblings there, or maybe parents talked about TJ. We certainly did not).

Unfortunately, my child at TJ has spoken of freshman classmates whose parents made the decision for them and they hate going to TJ. It’s not a healthy situation for those students. And definitely not good for school morale overall, not to mention all the possible bad outcomes from forcing a kid into an environment they really don’t want to participate in.

My older child is thriving at their base school, and made very clear to us they did NOT want to go to TJ. We listened and respected their choice.

I have no interest, and have never had an interest in the wait-list which will be created this Friday after 6pm; please don’t listen to the crazy conspiracy theorist who is convinced otherwise. She has issues.

But please do listen to your kids. It will make for a better life for them, for you, and for TJ as a whole if the entire student body truly wants to be there.

So don't send your kid if you are part of the 1.5% mandatory admits from any school other than Rachel Carson and Longfellow to “make it a better life for TJ as a whole”?

No, don’t send your kid if they don’t want to go. Even if they are part of the 1.5% or from Carson or Longfellow. Let your kid decide where they want to go to HS. If they don’t want to go to TJ, then don’t force them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

This is so sad to read! I feel bad for that kid.

These types of cases, where parents push kids to go to TJ against their will, are why I created this thread.

My youngest is finishing freshman year at TJ and looking forward to next year, as well as the rest of their time at TJ. My youngest is thriving at TJ. Not having any more children, BTW.

But, my child has sincerely wanted to go to TJ ever since hearing about it in 5th grade from classmates (my guess is some of the classmates had siblings there, or maybe parents talked about TJ. We certainly did not).

Unfortunately, my child at TJ has spoken of freshman classmates whose parents made the decision for them and they hate going to TJ. It’s not a healthy situation for those students. And definitely not good for school morale overall, not to mention all the possible bad outcomes from forcing a kid into an environment they really don’t want to participate in.

My older child is thriving at their base school, and made very clear to us they did NOT want to go to TJ. We listened and respected their choice.

I have no interest, and have never had an interest in the wait-list which will be created this Friday after 6pm; please don’t listen to the crazy conspiracy theorist who is convinced otherwise. She has issues.

But please do listen to your kids. It will make for a better life for them, for you, and for TJ as a whole if the entire student body truly wants to be there.

So don't send your kid if you are part of the 1.5% mandatory admits from any school other than Rachel Carson and Longfellow to “make it a better life for TJ as a whole”?

No, don’t send your kid if they don’t want to go. Even if they are part of the 1.5% or from Carson or Longfellow. Let your kid decide where they want to go to HS. If they don’t want to go to TJ, then don’t force them.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

No, some kids will enjoy HS better at their base school because it is less intense than TJ. I had a co-worker who bribed her daughter to attend TJ with a new car when the kid graduated. The kid graduated, went to college and studied to be an English teacher, and moved to South Korea to teach English. The kid doesn't come home or call her Mom. The kid was miserable at TJ and only stayed because her parents were bribing her. The kid had no interest in STEM and should have been at her base school.

My co-workers argument was that TJ was the best school and so her daughter should go there, even if she didn't want to be there. It had nothing to do with her daughters interests or desires. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

If your kid is accepted and not sure what they want then attend the information night, find some kids in your area who are attending and see if your kid can talk to them, make a list of pros and cons. Talk about why your kid is hesitant. But forcing a kid to go who doesn't want to go can be bad for the kid and can hurt your relationship with your child.

Trying TJ and struggling isn't necessarily a bad thing but understand that it is going to be hard to return to the base school. Some kids will feel like they failed, and some kids will be worried that they will be mocked by people at the base school.

I don't get why people think that this is a cut and dry decision. My kid is applying next year, I doubt that it will be an easy choice for him if he is accepted. We'll have those conversations next year. We know kids at TJ that he is talking to already. Good luck to the kids this year.

It’s genuinely not that hard to return to base. A fair number of kids do it not because they were struggling, but because they just didn’t enjoy the environment. And there is nothing wrong with that.

And no one should ever, ever be forced to try it if they genuinely don’t want to at all.

But good grief, as a society we have to stop protecting our kids from the possibility that they *might* face some adversity.

Kids at their base school will mock them for whatever - that’s the bed you choose to lie in by going to a base school. All I am saying is that if you decline the offer, there is *no* turning back from that.

And there are *absolutely* people on this board who want you to decline the spot.

[Anonymous]

If your kids had pretty consistently been getting under the 98th percentile, they are probably going to find TJ pretty challenging and get a bad grade from time to time.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want to go, he should intentionally bomb the application

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the replies. We were in this position a couple of years ago and did not force kid to attend TJ. He is smart but doesn’t love science & went from unsure to adamantly not wanting to go to TJ. He is very happy and doing well at his school. I guess we might never know for sure if it was the “best” decision in terms of his eventual employment, etc, but he is happy, taking rigorous classes, involved in ECs, and enjoying high school. So that counts for something.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I absolutely wouldn't force them. TJ isn't for everyone and if the kid isn't fully in you are setting yourself up for failure. Most kids will still excel at their local school.

Some posters here will say things like Don't go but it's not because they believe this, but to create waitlist movement. I'd try to understand the students reasons for reluctance to better evaluate this.

The waitlist for the class of 2029 does not exist at this time because offers have not been made at this time.

Why are you making up ridiculous conspiracy theories?

... Assuming you're posting this in bad faith because no one who birthed a child capable of admission to TJ would actually be stupid enough to not understand this.

Their goal is to get parents and kids to decide *now* that they will not accept their offer of admission when granted, so that when they end up on the waitlist, there will be a ton of early movement and their child will have a shot at being called up to the big leagues.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

Do you understand the probabilities involved? This level of conspiracy belongs in tin foil hat territory, but it looks like we have found one nut job.

Of course I understand the probabilities involved. It takes a dedicated parent a few seconds to put together a few posts that might give their kid a sliver of hope if they needed it. Not exactly a heavy lift.

I know many kids who were pushed into TJ specifically and the results are all over the place as adults. Multiple dont talk to their parents, others went in a completely non-STEM direction when they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, others are in STEM fields they don’t care about at all, still trying to please family. There are others who are very happy with where they are, in STEM, but those are the kids the school is for - they love STEM. Only you know your kid, but if the passion AND ability aren’t there, it’s the wrong choice. My priority is raising happy kids who know how to set boundaries.

So in other words, like every other HS kid. Some love HS, some don’t. Not too shocking.

DP who went to TJ and knows kids pushed in, and the difference is that those kids will (rightly or wrongly) blame their parents for pushing them in. If you're just going to your base school you have less reason to blame your parents - the state mandates your attendance after all.

+1