s/o: Force child to go to TJ?

[Anonymous]

My kid took the entrance exam and has a good chance of getting in based on comparing notes with the other kids from his school who took the test (few took the test and several who did were either stumped by the math problem or did not finish the essays). But he does not want to go and I am not going to push him to go if he does get in. I wish the school was more like Harvard where the hardest thing is getting in. I don't think a cut throat, super competitive high school environment is actually that helpful for long term success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the opposite situation. My kid really wants to go to TJ and I think his base school would be a better fit. I want him to get in and decide he doesn't want to go, so he doesn't feel rejected, but I think if he gets in he will not turn it down. Just a few more days to wait...

I was in this boat 3 years ago. DC visited the open house and decided she really wanted to give it a shot so I let her. It was the best decision because she has been so much happier there than she was at the base middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid took the entrance exam and has a good chance of getting in based on comparing notes with the other kids from his school who took the test (few took the test and several who did were either stumped by the math problem or did not finish the essays). But he does not want to go and I am not going to push him to go if he does get in. I wish the school was more like Harvard where the hardest thing is getting in. I don't think a cut throat, super competitive high school environment is actually that helpful for long term success.

DD is a junior. Her experience has not been “cut throat”. But the school has also intentionally tried to tone down the hyper competitiveness vibe that it seemed to have acquired in recent years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid took the entrance exam and has a good chance of getting in based on comparing notes with the other kids from his school who took the test (few took the test and several who did were either stumped by the math problem or did not finish the essays). But he does not want to go and I am not going to push him to go if he does get in. I wish the school was more like Harvard where the hardest thing is getting in. I don't think a cut throat, super competitive high school environment is actually that helpful for long term success.

DD is a junior. Her experience has not been “cut throat”. But the school has also intentionally tried to tone down the hyper competitiveness vibe that it seemed to have acquired in recent years.

While I much prefer Mr. Mukai as TJ’s principal, I can appreciate Dr. Bonitatibus’ intense focus on TJ students’ social and emotional well-being.

TJ is not easy. It is most definitely not the right fit for the vast majority of learners in FCPS.

But it need not be cut throat, and Dr. Bonitatibus sought out ways to increase a sense of collaboration and teamwork amongst the student body at TJ.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is named James my son came home and said James asked us to pray that he doesn’t get in. He doesn’t want to go but his parents really want him to.

[Anonymous]

No. It's a strategy called big fish in a little pond. Highly technical

[Anonymous]

DC got in 2 years ago and didn’t go. Both DC and we parents agreed that base school is a better option for DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is named James my son came home and said James asked us to pray that he doesn’t get in. He doesn’t want to go but his parents really want him to.

can't he just ask them to not let him in in the essay test?

[Anonymous]

Fav comment of this thread so far = the sticker is forever!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is named James my son came home and said James asked us to pray that he doesn’t get in. He doesn’t want to go but his parents really want him to.

James could have written “I don’t want to go to TJ” as his essay answer and he wouldn’t have to worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is named James my son came home and said James asked us to pray that he doesn’t get in. He doesn’t want to go but his parents really want him to.

James could have written “I don’t want to go to TJ” as his essay answer and he wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Some kids actually didn’t want to go but tried the best to get in because they just want to prove if they can.
This maybe not James.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you force or even persuade? TJ is for kids who have a passion in these subjects and they want to dig deeper. A regular FCPS high provides a fine education and in fact, it’s likely your kid would have a “better” college outcome there. Not sure what the point of pushing them to go is at all if they aren’t self motivated.

(Of course, I say that as the child of parents who absolutely would have forced me to go. I thank my lucky stars we didn’t have something similar where I grew up.)

Because you're the parent and you might know your kid would be better of there than at their base school.

I don't think you should force a kid to go to TJ. The workload is no joke. You learn a year of honors math every semester. Every class is academically rigorous. You even get written exams in PE.

You cannot half ass your way through. If they don't want to be there, they may not expend the necessary effort to be successful. And then they world get nothing out of it.

They don't have to be enthusiastic, but they can't be reluctant. They certainly can't be forced.

Try to persuade them, discuss the pluses and minuses and in the process you might end up changing their mind, your mind or both.

Nope. Not persuading a kid to go there. They were interested enough to take the test. They can decide if they want to go. It is not like they are deciding to go to college or not. This is totally optional and meant for people who are passionate about these subjects.

The only way I could see persuading a kid is just reassuring them if they have imposter syndrome but are interested. Otherwise, they do actually have to be enthusiastic!

No they don't.

And you can definitely have a conversation with a view towards persuading them to go. They might end up convincing you they shouldn't.

In the end you can't force them to go but they don't have to be enthusiastic. Most kids don't want to leave their friends, try new things in new environments, or deal with the committee. But once they're there, most of those issues will evaporate. What won't evaporate of the rigor and you can't force most kids into rigor like that.

Right now, the freshman that got Cs their first semester are thinking about returning to their base school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid took the entrance exam and has a good chance of getting in based on comparing notes with the other kids from his school who took the test (few took the test and several who did were either stumped by the math problem or did not finish the essays). But he does not want to go and I am not going to push him to go if he does get in. I wish the school was more like Harvard where the hardest thing is getting in. I don't think a cut throat, super competitive high school environment is actually that helpful for long term success.

For the right kid it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, no, absolutely no.

- TJ grad

+1000%

[Anonymous]

You have to know you're kid, not who you think your kid is. For one of my kids, they got in and there was zero hesitation that it was the right choice. The other, not so much and they stayed at base HS. Both were the correct choice for each individual kid.